


The Language of Flowers

by spoopybat



Category: Harvest Moon, Harvest Moon: The Tale of Two Towns
Genre: Abuse, Cliche, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, Hurt/Comfort, Minor Character Death, Mutual Pining, POV Alternating, Physical Abuse, References to Depression, Slow Build, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-26
Updated: 2019-06-12
Packaged: 2019-07-17 18:04:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 36
Words: 62,394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16100924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spoopybat/pseuds/spoopybat
Summary: Lillian, a young woman from the Sunshine Islands, left her home and moved to Bluebell. In hopes that moving to this rural farm town to escape her troubled past and find the happy life she had always wanted.This is a reupload of an old fic that I keep coming back to. I've been working on it on and off for about five years now.





	1. Lotus

Snowflakes fell from the grey sky delicately and clung to my hair and eyebrows. It had been about a week since I moved from the Sunshine Islands to Bluebell and I was still working on making my small farm inhabitable. In all honesty it was in poor condition when I moved in, the house was dusty, my pipes leaked, and there were some holes in all the roofs. Moving here, making a down payment on the house, and buying a cow had bankrupted me. Thankfully the world's sweetest mayor, Rutger, loaned me enough to pay the local carpenter to fix up my farm.

Every morning Eileen would come by after breakfast and help out around my farm. It was like clockwork; my alarm would off, I'd take a quick shower, eat some toast and drink some coffee. Each morning I'd and finish up my coffee and right when I stepped outside I would hear her tired whistling as she walked down the path to my home. Today was no different.

I sat on my doorstep drinking the stale brew and watched her leisurely stroll towards me tools in hand. I couldn't help but smirk as she tried to keep the melody, but something told me she wasn't musically inclined. "Morning Eileen!" I called. 

"Good mornin' Lillian." She said with a yawn as she approached me.

"What's on the agenda for today?" I asked, setting the empty mug on the stoop beside me.

"Not much honestly, I just have to patch one last hole in the roof, fix the barn door, finish fixing your water heater, and help you plow your fields. Then we'll be done." I couldn't help but smirk little at her statement.

"Is that all?" I mused. "I wouldn't call this little patch of grass a field." I looked over to what equated to a small garden and couldn't help but compare it to the farms back home.

"Besides, it's my farm, I can tend to my own fields." I didn't want to let her know that I couldn't keep a plant alive even if my life depended on it. That was the whole reason I chose a community that focused on animals.

"Okay with that off the list," She did some quick mental math. ", if we work at the same time everything should be done by noon. Then your farm will be ready to open."

"I guess we should get to it then huh?" I asked. I rested the empty cup where I was sitting and walked over and grabbed the toolbox from her. The barn door was an easy fix. I just needed to hold the door steady while she realigned the hinges. After the door was back on it's fastenings I followed her into my basement and assisted with repairs there. This one wasn't an easy fix but it was an easy enough fix for her. I was beginning to think she was magic.

Two down two to go.

Eileen had picked up the ladder that was leaning against the barn and made her way up on to the roof. She had no problem fixing the hole, while I couldnt till the frozen ground.

"You done yet?" She called from the roof, growing impatient with my slow progress.

"I mean, I guess so." I sighed out of frustration. I lost the fight against dirt. "I don't think I can get much done until the ground thaws more." I looked over nervously as she descended the ladder oh-so casually, jumping down from the third rung up with ease.

"Good." She grinned and pushed her glasses back up on her face. "Then we the people happily stand here today to commemorate the grand opening of . . . " Her grandiose speech trailed off. "What's the name?" She asked under her breath, attempting to not alert the non-existent audience.

I had to fight to keep my laughter under control, at least long enough to give her an answer. "Sunshine Farm." I said without a second thought. "Sunshine Farm," She repeated, pausing for a moment before she smiled. ", that's so cheesy, I love it! Now I'll meet you tonight and we can celebrate."

"Celebrate?" I wasn't sure what she meant by celebrate but I wasn't too much of a party animal.

"Yeah, every so often some of us young adults from Bluebell and Konohana meet at the mountain top and hang out. It's really fun, I promise." She grasped my hands in her own as she held them up between us, eyes pleading.

"I thought everyone in Konohana hated us." The one thing I had heard about the other town was from Rutger, and he didn't have many nice things to say. In fact that's was the first thing out of Rutger's mouth when I learned about the other village.

"Not at all, it's really just the older generations. I forget why exactly they act like this but Rutger insists they started it." She said with a giggle. I was hesitant for a moment but Eileen's begging face wasn't something I could say no to. Especially after she helped me out so much.

"Alright." I said with a smirk. "I guess it sounds like fun." Finally getting the answer she wanted she picked up her box of tools and turned to leave.

"You're gonna love it, I swear." She spun around to walk backwards, gave me a big thumbs up and an even bigger grin. "Mountain top, nine o'clock, don't forget." With that she began walking in a normal direction and disappeared around the bend of my walkway.

-×-

Normally it wouldn't have taken a long time for me to wash the dirt off my body and change into clean clothes, but I couldn't help but marvel at Eileen's handiwork while I showered. A few days ago I didn't have hot water, now my bathroom was the equivalent of a steam room. I never fully appreciated the indescribable beauty of hot water but I knew I never wanted to be without it again.

After my shower I wrapped myself up in my fluffy bathrobe and started unpacking the contents of my bookcase. Everything had its own shelf. Movies on the bottom shelves, books in the middle two and photos on the top. I couldn't help but pause and look at each photo carefully before I put it out. Most were of my family but one was Chelsea and Vaughn's wedding photo. _I'll have to invite them over soon._ I thought. For a moment I stated at the shelves of books and my eyes fell to one in particular. It was a goodbye present from Sabrina.

Between the photos and books I found myself lost in thought.  "I'm already homesick." I sighed in disbelief. I flopped down on my couch, turning the television on to distract me. I didn't work. I couldn't help it, my mind was back on the islands

I missed Chelsea and Vaughn most of all. She had been my best friend for over a decade and was always right down the road from me. Now she was about three hours away. I missed Natalie, Sabrina, heck I even missed Denny. I smiled fondly at the thought of all of my friends hanging out at the beach again.

I stared ahead at my television as I thought, keeping the sound low.

 ~~~~-×-

I decided to wear my warmest outfit since we were meeting at the mountain top. The oversized sweater didn't do me any favors, it fell to my mid thighs and made me look like a box. It was almost five years old at this point, at it showed, but I didn't have much else. Winter here was far colder than it was on my islands, so I wasn't exactly outfitted for the climate shift. I brushed through my shoulder length brown hair, pulled a beanie with a comically large pompom on it before I grabbed my flashlight and headed out.

The trek up the mountain path wasn't bad, but it snaked around various boulders and steep inclines to give the travelers an easier path. It was easy enough to follow with my flashlight illuminating the path. It was fairly quiet, an occasional owl caught me off guard with it's loud hoot, but the closer I got to the summit the more chatter I could hear.

My stomach churned a bit at the thought of all these new people. It was like kindergarden all over again. The fear of a bunch of people my own age not liking me. _It'll be fine_. I thought. These strangers were going to be a part of my new life, so I put a smile on my face and thought positively.

As soon as I neared the crest I could see the glow of the bonfire and some moving figures surrounding it. Under my breath I muttered a quick prayer to the Harvest Goddess, hoping that I didn't make a fool of myself and they liked me.

Eileen was waiting at the edge of the party, anticipating my arrival. As soon as she spotted me she darted towards me and wrapped an arm around my shoulders. "I'm so happy you're here. I was worried that you weren't gonna show."

"And disappoint my only friend in town?" I turned my flashlight off as we walked closer to the group. "Please." I scoffed, my eyes scanned over the sea of people who were loudly talking. I was honestly surprised that everyone was so lively on a Monday night. She bounded forward, dragging me over to a small flock of women our age.

"Girls I'd like you to meet my friend and our newest resident, Lillian." I took and seat on a snow-less log and smiled sheepishly as the girls introduced themselves one by one. In total there were four other girls; Reina, Laney, Georgia, and Nori. I got a run down of the two towns and who lived where. Everyone was so sweet and friendly, it caught me by surprise. There really wasn't any reason to worry.

Nori told me about the seed shop she ran with her grandfather, Gombe. Reina, who was the most stand-offish of the group, studied botany under her uncle Mako. Georgia lived on a small ranch with her father, Grady. Laney lived above a café with her father, Howard. I listened intently, not wanting to seem rude. When the conversation had died down a little I couldn't resist the urge to look at the guys who were huddled together by a small keg of cider someone brought.

Eileen caught me eyeing the hard cider and elbowed me a bit. "Try some it's really good. Reina brought it up for tonight. Seeing as it's a special occasion."

"Yeah it's super good!" A youthful looking man hollered and winked at Reina, who in turn blushed a bit. I looked between Nori and Eileen, wanting an explanation.

"Stop eavesdropping Hiro, you're creeping out our new friend." Eileen jokingly chastised.

"He may be creepy, but he's right." Nori teased. "The cider's amazing tonight." Reina gave her friend a tiny smile before chugging some of hers.

"Well, I'm going to have to test your claims and try some then." I smiled, stood up and sauntered over to the corwd of guys.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lotus: New beginnings
> 
> Are these chapters long? No.  
> Are they a constant work in progress? Yes.  
> Am I grateful you've read it? Hell yes!


	2. Agrimony

"So you're the newest address on my route huh?" Asked the short, red clad, mailman named Dirk.   
  
"I guess so, my name's Lillian." I smiled at the men surrounding me.   
  
"That has such a lovely ring to it." Chimed a white haired male.   
  
"Mikhail you don't have to be so . . . charming all the time, you know that right?" Dirk rolled his eyes for effect.   
  
"Don't discourage it, I think it's sweet." I smiled warmly at him.   
  
"Thank you." Mikhail smirked and turned his attention back towards the conversation he'd been having with Hiro.   
  
"So Lil, you want a drink?" Asked a man in a wool cap, who already started pouring me a cup of cider.   
  
"I'd love one, but please, call me Lillian." I smiled and took the cup from him. Drinking the cider sent a warm sensation throughout my body, which was perfect for this winter's eve. "Thanks. . ." 

"Ash." He said after finishing off his cup before pouring another glass.

I just stood there listening to everyone talk. I occasionally added to conversations here and there, but i was happy that I clearly wasn't the main focus.

Eventually everyone took a seat around the bonfire, drinks in hand, and listened to one another tell jokes and stories. Some were urban legends I'd never heard of before. A guy named Kana decided it was a good idea to see who could tell the best ghost stories.  "Just when she thought she was safe the killer held up her boyfriends disembodied hand and his car keys." He tried his best to make the end of the story sound scary, but it was a story we'd all heard before.   
  
"Hey," Laney called in the middle of Georgia's tale about an escaped child killer. "You're back early." I turned around to see a tall and slender man in a dark grey coat walking towards the fire pit. She ran up and gave him a hug. Everyone turned their attention back to Georgia, letting the two talk. I still paid attention to the new arrival, only half listening to the Pint Sized Slasher.   
  
"Yeah well I managed to catch an earlier train, so I thought I'd swing by and say hello before heading back to town." He tipped his purple cap to the few who did pay attention to his arrival. Those who weren't outright ignoring them gave a quick nod, I just smiled sheepishly.   
  
"Cam, you should stay for once, you'll have fun." She insisted. I looked away, not wanting to gawk.   
  
"You know I'm not a huge fan of parties, they make me uncomfortable." I heard him say as quietly as he could.   
  
"Please?" She begged. All I heard was a sigh and a happy squeal from Laney. They took a seat with the group. Out of the corner of my eye I looked at him more closely. His features and hair resembled that of Ash's, but his eyes were deep set. I looked away and shifted my focus to the fire and listening to everyone talk. As time went on my eyelids grew heavy. I yawned and Eileen looked at me.   
  
"Lillian you should head home, you're exhausted."   
  
I nodded lazily in response and stood up. "Thank you everyone, I had a lot of fun tonight. I'll see you all soon." I waved goodbye to everyone and pulled out my flashlight. They all said their goodbyes and wished me well.   
  
"Are you sure you can make it home alright?" Georgia asked, clearly worried.   
  
"Oh yeah, I'm fine. I have a flashlight." I wiggled it for extra emphasis. "But thanks for worrying." I gave one last wave to everyone and headed down the mountain.   
  
I strolled down the path the path to Bluebell and enjoyed the feeling of the cold air and snowflakes hitting my face. The only light I had was the one coming from my flashlight. The laughter of my friends had long since faded away into the distance and was replaced by the comforting sound of crunching snow beneath my boots. I was about halfway down the mountain when my light began the flicker.   
  
"No, not now." I groaned and shook my flashlight, knowing full-well that it wouldn't fix the problem. I began hitting the end of it with my palm until the light went out completely. "Damn it." I cursed, tucking the light in my pocket. I stood in the middle of the trail, surrounded by darkness. The snow clouds covered what little light I would've gotten. I knew I wasn't going to be able to make it back down the winding path. I strained my eyes looking around for any indication of the trail but I knew it was a lost cause. I held my hands out in front of me and felt around, taking small steps until I found a large tree that was bordering the path. With no other option I leaned against the cold bark, butt slowly growing numb. 

I could only imagine what my brother would say if he saw me now. Whatever it was I knew it wouldn't be clever. The thought of Phillip made a bitter smile appear. After our parents passed he did the best he could, giving me the best life possible until I talked about leaving. I still feel guilty about leaving him sometimes, but I wanted a life of my own. I just couldn't be there any more, around _him_. And just for a second i was back there. I could still remember how angry he was when I told him my idea, how scared I had been. Suddenly, a bright light shone in my face, pulling me out of my thoughts.  
  
"Are you alright?" I heard Cam's voice ask quietly. I opened my eyes and blinked a few times, trying to adjust to its brightness. "Sorry." He mumbled before lowering his flashlight some.  
  
"I'm fine but my flashlight broke on my way home and I couldn't find my way down the mountain. So I thought I'd just wait for everyone to head home, or dawn. Whichever came first. But I guess I got distracted in my wait." I laughed nervously. "Silly idea huh?"  
  
"Not really. It's the only thing you could have done." He shrugged a little. "Since you'll freeze otherwise, do you want to walk back down with me?"  
  
"Uh, yeah, sure." I smiled weakly, realizing how cold and tired I truly was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Agrimony: Grateful


	3. African Marigold

I walked down the mountain slowly. Taking peace in the long walk back to the cafe I heard shivering coming from somewhere around me. I looked around and followed a set a footprints leading to a snowbank and a shivering woman. I couldn't really see her face but she did seem familiar enough. It wasn't often that strangers came around, even when the did it was never at one in the morning. I wasn't sure what was wrong with her but it made no sense that she would just stand here in the snow, looking down at the ground before her. I shone my flashlight on her face to try and see who it was. "Are you alright?" She winced slightly at the bright light. "Sorry." I said quietly. When her face came into view I realized who she was. I had seen her at the party sitting next to Eileen, but I never got to speak with her. I finally got a chance to take a real look at her face. Warm brown hair fell out from under the hat framing her face. Her large blue eyes looked up at me, blinking a few times in confusion.

"I'm fine but my flashlight broke on my way home and I couldn't find my way down the mountain. So I thought I'd just wait for everyone to head home or dawn to come. Whichever came first. But I guess I got a little distracted in my wait." Her laugh was inviting and warm. "Silly idea huh?" I thought for a moment.

"Not really. It's the only thing you could have done." Shrugging slightly, her logic wasn't flawed. The only other choice she had was guessing her way back home. "Since you'll freeze otherwise, do you want to walk back down with me?"

"Um, yeah, sure." She smiled. We walked in peaceful silence for a while, her pace was slow. Occasionally I'd glace over at her to see how she was doing. I'd never look at her too long, afraid she'd think I was gawking. "Thanks for picking me up. It's Cam, right?" Her voice was small.

"Yeah." I paused. "And you are?"

"Lillian, it's nice to meet you." I kept my eyes on the trail in front of us.

"When did you move here? I haven't seen you around before." I felt so awkward whenever I made small talk, which was only made worse by the fact that she was a stranger.

"I moved into the abandoned farm by the church about a week ago, but I haven't gotten a chance to meet everyone until now." The snow began fall faster, more flakes stuck to my hair and face.

"Ah." At least I know where to go now.

"Yeah." We walked in silence for a little while longer. "Where to you live?"

"With Laney and Howard, in a spare room they rent out." Initially Howard didn't rent it out but after years of insisting I contribute to the household I finally broke him.

"Huh." She sounded surprised. "I thought it would have been with your brother."

"My brother?" My posture became stiff, not wanting to talk about him and my family with anyone, let alone this girl.

"Yeah, Ash." I winced a bit at the mention of him.

"No. We aren't brothers. Only friends." I said more harshly than I had intended.

"Oh, I'm sorry." After another moment of silence she spoke. "I didn't mean to offend you, it was wrong of me to assume." Her voice was meek.

_'_ _Great.'_  I thought. I managed to act like an ass after only a few minutes. "It's fine. You didn't offend me. It's just . . . nevermind." I sighed. I didn't want to isolate myself from yet another person.

"So Laney's nice." She smiled politely as we reached the edge of town.

"Yeah, she's a great person." I looked at the church up ahead, knowing we had to keep an eye out for the road to her house. "I've known her since I was little, same with Howard."

"Down here." She pointed down a dark path that led to her farm. I nodded and walked with her down the trail.

"So, do you, um," I didn't know why I was trying so hard to talk to her but it was more uncomfortable to be in an awkward silence. ", like working on a farm?"

"Huh? Oh yeah, I've been doing it since I was young. I mean, living by myself, it's lonely sometimes but it's worth it." She smiled her warm smile again. "Besides, I'm making so many friends here. Like you." I didn't know what to say to that, so I just didn't say a thing. When we got to her door I managed to speak again.

"Well, it looks like you're here." I stopped at the very edge of the sole step her home had. I was actually happy that this abandoned building was given new life.

"It would appear so." She stood in the doorway, not too far away. I stood rigid, not used to being so close to a woman that wasn't family.

"Lillian." I paused, words stuck in my throat. "Have a good night." I tipped my cap politely, before turning to leave.

"Goodnight Cam." She said as I walked away.

As I walked back down the road I heard the door shut behind me. I gripped my flashlight tightly as I picked up my pace back to Howard's. I didn't know why I left so suddenly. I didn't even look at her as she said goodbye. I went through the dark town square, enjoying the serene beauty this village offered. Ahead of me I could see a single light on at the café. "It's midnight and she's still up reading." I mused to myself. Quietly I opened the door and saw her hunched over a large book, reading by the light of an old desk lamp. "You're going to ruin your eyesight if you keep reading like that." I said as I shrugged off my coat.

"You sound just like my father." Laney sighed and looked up at me. "So, where were you? I left after you but I still managed to beat you home." I sat down across from her and put my hat on the table.

"I walked that girl Lillian home. Her flashlight went out on the mountain so I helped her out."

"That was awful nice of you. But be careful she might think you're a knight in shining armor or something." Laney giggled quietly, clearly amused by her own joke. A minute passed before she spoke again. "How was it?" Her tone changed, sounding protective.

"What the party?" I arched an eyebrow. "Uncomfortable, to say the least."

"I meant spending time with someone who isn't us or Ash."

"It was alright." I sighed and relaxed a little in the chair. "But she did mention Ash."

"Oh." Laney's expression hardened. "That was rude." I was used to Laney being protective of me but usually she was more subtle about her displeasure.

"She didn't know." I stared at my hat on the table, remembering Lillian's timid voice. "There's no way she could've known." We literally met less than an hour ago.

Laney's posture became a bit more rigid. "Why are you defending her? Normally you're more . . . sensitive about that topic."

I didn't respond for a while. "I don't know." I couldn't lie to Laney, even if I tried. She's for all intents and purposes my older sister. "Maybe it's because she just moved here?" I offered.

"I guess." She reluctantly smiled. "Well, I'm just glad you're making friends." She returned to her book, clearly wanting to finish this chapter before bed. I stood up and grabbed my hat.

"Goodnight." I said as I entered my room.

"Night." I heard as my door shut quietly. I tossed my hat on my desk in frustration. I couldn't understand why I was frustrated, but I just was. Looking out my small bedroom window and watching the snow fall as I changed out of my damp clothes. The stairs next to my room creaked as Laney ascended them to her room. I fell back on my bed, tucking myself under the quilt. As i laid there I looked over at the large vase near my bed, it was overflowing with local bluebells. They were the exact same color as her eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> African Marigold: Uneasiness


	4. Yellow Rose

The sun shone brightly over the farm. The snow had started to melt as spring was already in full force. And yet it had only been a few days since I met everyone on that snowy night. Verdant buds were popping up left and right, refusing to let the remnants of snow stop them. Clearly the Harvest Goddess didn't get the memo.

This morning flew by quickly, since it was the beginning of the season I spent most of my morning working. I had shoveled the last bits of snow out of the corrals so my animals could roam comfortable. As I was planting all my flowers for the season I muttered a prayer under my breath, hoping that was enough to keep me from kill them. The worst thing about farming was how quickly you got hot and sweaty. Halfway through planting my irises I was down to my tank top and jeans, my coat and scarf in a small pile not far away. I dug my hands into the mud removing any remnants of weeds I could see.

"Lillian!" I heard a call coming from the road to my farm. With that distinct souther twang there was no doubt that it was Georgia.

"What's up?" I wiped my dirt coated hands on my jeans before I stood up.

"I need to ask a favor of you." She kept looking around the farm. "If you aren't too busy that is."

"What do you need?" I smiled.

"Well Kana needs some help with his horses and asked me specifically, but I already promised Laney I'd pick some blueberries for her today." A tinge of pink bloomed across her face. "But I really don't want to disappoint Kana." She fidgeted with a lock of her fiery curls as she spoke.

"Say no more." It was painfully obvious that horses weren't going to be the main focus of the visit. "I'll pick some berries, don't worry. You just have fun." I giggled as she hugged me carefully not wanting to get mud on her.

"Thank you darlin'." She handed me some money and started walking away before i could object. "I promise I'll make it up to you." She said, skipping away like a school girl.

I quickly showered and changed into a plaid dress before I left, basket in hand.

It was so much easier to make out the mountain path in broad daylight. I hiked up and searched up and down the tail for every ripe blueberry I could find, but it seemed too early in the season for them. It took a bit of careful hunting but I finally found some hidden on a bush now and then. I wasn't sure how many she needed so I piced every last one I could get my hands on. 

My stroll back down to Bluebell was leisurely. I took in the sights and the fresh air. I watched a small pond nearby who's sheet of ice was slowly breaking up. Nearby small robins picked at the soft soil hoping to find a fresh meal.

The sun glistened against the remaining snowbanks as I walked through town. It was later in the afternoon, around three, and some of the residents were hanging around town chatting with one another. As I passed by Cam's Flower Shop on my way to Howard's I decided to stop by.

"Hi there." I said. Carefully i leaned over and sniffed the carnations he had on display.

"Hello. Welcome to Cam's Flowers, how may I help you?" I looked up at him through my bangs and gave a small smile. I noticed he was wearing a lilac shirt, dark purple vest, yellow tie, and the same purple hat as before.

"Hey." I looked up from the sea of flowers. "I just wanted to thank you for rescuing me the other day. I think I would have become an ice sculpture if it wasn't for you."

"It was no problem, so don't worry about it." I took a moment to examine his face, finally getting a good look at him. His eyes were a bright green with small flecks of a warm copper throughout. He seemed uncomfortable. _No, thats not it_. I thought. Sure, he seemed awkward but there was a kindness in his eyes. My eyes glanced over the rest of his face. His features were both youthful and angular, I couldn't pinpoint his actual age but the visible stubble showed he close to my age. He smiled and continued talking, clearly not noticing my staring. "What brings you by today?"

"Well, I ran some errands for Laney and I wanted to get a little something for everyone." I stood up fully and my smile widened. "I mean, everyone has been so welcoming I thought I'd be nice in return. A small thank you gift." I looked at the dirty-blonde hair that framed his face. "What would you suggest for that, Mr. flower-expert?" I could see the thoughts running through his head for a moment. Suddenly he turned around to pick a few flowers from his large mountain behind him.

"How about these? They mean gratitude." In his left hand he held a purple hydrangea. "Or these for friendship?" The other held a vivid orange chrysanthemum. I looked closely at both of them and nodded. "So you like them?"

"They're beautiful." I took a large sniff of each. "I'll take," I did a quick count of the residents in my head. "About seven of the orange ones." I could only afford enough for the Bluebell villagers today. My thank you gifts for Konohana would have to wait a few days. "But I will need one of the hydrengias."

"That'll be 1547 gold." I dug though my basket for my wallet and paid him.

"Can you hold on to those until I drop off these blueberries?" I gestured with my basket. He nodded and started to put the bushel of flowers to the side. "Wait." He stopped mid motion and I reached over and grabbed the hydrangea. "This is for you." I tucked the flower in his vest. "For saving me." I gave a final smile before I ran in to Laney.

"What took you so long?" She said from behind the kitchen counter. The way she flitted about the kitchen gave me the impression that she was stressed.

"Well there aren't a lot of ripe berries yet so I had some trouble finding them." I placed my basket on the counter along with one of the chrysanthemums. "Also, I got a little distracted buying flowers for everyone."

"Georgia told me she'd be dropping them off." She emptied the basket into a bowl. "A lot of these aren't quite ripe." She grumbled quietly. As frazzled as she was she still smiled. I watched as she tossed the undeveloped berries in the trash, not even needing to look up to aim . She then washed off the remaining berries.

"Yeah Georgia just asked me this morning. I am sorry about the berries though, it's still early in the season."

"Why where's Georgia?" Asked a voice from behind me. I looked over my shoulder at the other blonde male, Ash.

"She's working over at Kana's." I said, air-quoting the term work. Ash chuckled and leaned against the counter with me.

"Makes sense. Those two have a lot in common."

"I think the only thing Kana likes more than Georgia is Hayate." Laney joked, making Ash snicker. I didn't feel comfortable enough to laugh along with them.

"Oh, Ash, this is for you." I said as I handed over the other flower.

"Thanks." He said, face flushing a bit. "Hey, do you want to, like, eat something?"

"Eat something?" I asked, amused by the phrasing. "Sure."

"Laney, we'll eat out on the outdoor section, under the sun."

"What do you want?" She asked not looking away from the muffins she was making.

"I'll have spaghetti." Ash said, clearly knowing his favorite menu item.

"I'll have Milk Tea and a small slice of cheesecake."

"Coming right up." She said as we went to take a seat outside.

* * *

"So," Ash started. ", why did you move to Bluebell?"

"I kill most crops I try and grow, but I'm great with animals. So Bluebell seemed like a perfect place." This made him laugh slightly.

"No, I mean why did you leave your home?"

I looked down at my teacup, pondering how to explain it properly. "Well, I wanted to start my own farm, and my own life. Plus, I wanted to give my brother a chance to be his own adult."

"I didn't know you had a brother." He didn't sound as surprised as I anticipated, no one here knew about Phil. "Are you two close?"

"We aren't that close anymore." I murmured.

"That sucks." He looked past me towards his family farm. "I couldn't imagine being at odds with Cheryl. I mean brothers fight with one another all the time, but older brothers are supposed to be there for their sisters no matter what."

"Yeah well life doesn't always go the way you want." I took a long, slow sip of my tea.

"No kidding." His eyes subtly darted across the plaza to Cam. "If you don't mind me asking; what happened?"

"He wanted me to stay and I wanted to go." I didnt want to go into the whole clusterfuck that was me moving away. "He even went so far as to set me up with a rich playboy I had a crush on. I guess he hoped the security would sway me to stay on the islands." I left out the unpleasant details of Will, not wanting to dump everything on my new friend. My face softened as I thought about my childhood with Phillip. The way Ash gawked at me made me want to explain it a little better. "He was in a bad place and I can't really hold it against him." I was still furious at him and his actions but I knew his mind was warped. Even if I didn't actually forgive him right now I'd say that I did, hoping the concept of 'fake it til you make it' was true.

"You're very understanding and that's admirable." I looked up at his smiling face. "But why did he want you to stay?"

"Brotherly love." I said before finishing the last bit of cheesecake. I had shared more than I normally would have, but he was easy to talk to. "Sorry. I shouldn't have dumped this on you."

"It's all good. I was the one who asked." He gave an understanding nod, dropping the subject and finished his food.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yellow Rose: Friendship


	5. Hyacinth

Aside from Georgia, Ash was the only other person who frequently kept me company. So when Ash came down my dirt road this morning I wasn't exactly surprised. _Meet me by the stream around one_. He said. 

And so I waited by the steam, not knowing what to expect. When I saw him walk over the small hill that led to Bluebell's local stream, a metal bucket in hand, I become utterly confused.

"What's with the bucket?" Arching an eyebrow.

"Well on your islands the only fishing is with a rod right?"

"Well yeah." I tried my best to refrain from laughing. "There's not really another way of doing it."

"See that's where you're horribly mistaken dear Lillian." He set the buckets on the bank of the brook and started to remove his shoes. "Go on. Take 'em off and roll those jeans up."

I sighed now having more questions than answers. I complied and unzipped my old work boots and rolled up my pants up past my knees. I looked at the youthful man and rolled my eyes a bit.

"Alright so the streams are finally warm enough to do a little local tradition called hand fishing." He tossed his hat and gloves into the growing pile of clothes.

"Is this what it sounds like?" The feeling the soft dirt and grass beneath my feet was oddly relaxing.

"It's exactly what it sounds like." He beamed. "We even host a little tournament every summer. If you're going to be a true Bluebellian you gotta learn." With his hat off I could see his blonde hair more clearly now. It was the exact same shade as Cam's. There was no way I was imagining it, right?

"Alright fine, teach away." I gestured to the stream and watched his almost effortlessly catch a small fish in under a minute. I couldn't help but give him a small applause.

"Come on." He waved his hand, gesturing me towards him. "Alright, now stand perfectly still." I waded in and listened for my next directions. "Now stick your hands in the water open, kinda like you're catching a football." He kept his voice low to avoid startling the fish. "And just wait for a fish to brush against your hands. Then WHAM!" He clapped his hands together, completely defeating the purpose of keeping quiet. "You grab 'em and toss 'em in the bucket." I nodded and waited in the cool water, moving as little as possible.

After several minutes I felt a fish hit my hand. As quick as I could I closed my grasp but the slippery fish swam free.

"It's alright it can take a while to get the first one." A look of doubt came across my face. "Try again." He reassured. While waiting I felt the cool water rush over my legs and hands. I tried again and again, yet I couldn't managed to grip one. After what seemed like dozens of attempts I managed to snag a small one. "Great job, I knew you could do it." Ash gushed. I felt my cheeks flush a bit, unused to the attention. "I'll wait until you snag another one or two, then I gotta head back. Cheryl's waiting for us to play."

"I'm surprised she's so patient. That doesn't sound like her." That got a chuckle from Ash. I waited in silence until another fish hit my hand. Knowing what exactly to expect this time. I grabbed the fish tighter and pulled it out of the water and put it in the metal bucket. I smiled. I could hear him zipping up his boots, but I didn't let it distract me. I watched as another small fish swim up to my hands. This one was easier than the last.

"I knew you could do it. You got a handle on this pretty quickly, so I think I'm gonna head out. Oh, if you want to be a little generous Grady needs at least ten for the animals." He tried to make it seem like this generosity was a new idea.

"Are you sure this wasn't a way for me to do work for you?" I glared at him playfully but I couldn't keep the cold face for long.

"Positive. This is a residency test first a foremost."

"And it's also?" I couldn't help but snicker at his lack of subtlety.

"An actual request from Grady for cat food." I rolled my eyes. "I'm sure Grady will make it worth your while." I cupped my hands in the stream and threw the water at him as best I could. He laughed a little as it hit him. "No I swear, it's worth it."

"Alright, go have fun with your sister." I smirked.

"Thanks." He waved before darting off. As he ran away he called, "You're gonna love this, I swear!" With that he vanished down the road. I stood in the stream under the warm sun watching the fish swim about. Their swimming was hypnotizing and would distract me from time to time. By the time I caught enough fish the sun had started to set. On my way back to town I met up with Mikhail who was headed back to town hall. I looked up at the white haired male and smiled.

"Hello Mikhail. How are you today?"

"Good evening Lillian, I'm doing well. And you?" He smiled softly, his voice melodic and deep.

"I'm fine, just dropping off some fish at Grady's." I adjusted the bucket in my hands. "So, you excited for your last performance of the season?"

"Oh yes, I'm thrilled I get to play for the Harmony Day festival. It's part of the reason I stay so late in the season." I smiled.

"Then where are you going?"

"I stay with a friend in Mineral Town for summer." I tilted my head in curiosity. "I teach a summer class up north."

"Oh, cool!" I took flute lessons as a child. I was never any good at it, but I sure did try. "What ages?"

"All ages really. I mostly work with children but I teach a few highschoolers that want to go pro."

"That's so nice." It warmed my heart a little; thinking about all those kids trying their best to play a simple tune. "Will you miss me while you're gone." I winked playfully at him.

"I'll miss you all. Some mkre than others." He glanced wistfully ahead.

"Oh? Is there a specific someone you like more?" His cheeks turned a beet red, clearly he let something slip. "Mikhail. I saw how you looked at him when we met." I placed my hand on his shoulder causing him to look sheepishly at me.

"Ahh, what can I say? I appreciate beauty of all kinds." I chuckled at his nonchalant response.

"Either way it's not my thing to tell." I lifted one of my hands and mimed zipping my mouth shut.

"Thank you for your discretion." We stopped in front of the church.

"Any time pal." I punched his arm awkwardly, which made him laugh.

"What about you? Do you have eyes for anyone special?" He asked, trying to change the subject. We continued down the road towards town.

"No one yet." I shook my head. "Dating still leaves a bad taste in my mouth." The corners of my lips turned down.

"Don't worry. Your wounds will heal one day." I stared into his dark eyes and saw nothing but understanding. 

"How did you-?" I cut myself off. We lived in a small farm town. Word was bound to go around. "Thank you, Snowball." It was clear he wasn't a fan of the nickname, but he didnt say anything. "I have to get going before these spoil. But thank you for walking with me."

"Any time my dear." He smiled and, like the gentleman he was, he bowed. "Have a wonderful night."

"You too." I jokingly bowed in return. Even as over-dramatic as he was his charm never failed to shine through.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hyacinth: Games and fun


	6. Orange Tree

I knocked on the large wooden door in front of me. It didn't even take a minute for it to be answered.   
  
"Hullo Lillian! Please come in." Grady, Georgia's father, answered the door. Between his cheerful disposition and the scent of firewood that always eminatied from him; I couldn't help but smile. The large man stepped to the side to let me in.   
  
"Hi there Grady. I've got a delivery here." I walked through the door-frame and into the large home and store. Behind the shop area I saw Georgia sitting at a large table.   
  
"Thank you so much for getting the fish I needed." His foreign accent was thick and unrecognizable. It was so strange that he and his daughter had two wildly different accents.   
  
"Any time sir. Good evening Georgia." I called to my friend while passing the bucket of fish to Grady.   
  
"Lillian you got here just in time!" She sprang up from the table and ran over to give me a hug.   
  
"Just in time for what?" I laughed a little, caught off guard.   
  
"Your surprise silly. Didn't Ash tell you?"   
  
“Not really.” I shrugged. “But he told me that getting fish would be worth it." When I repeated his words aloud I realized how silly it sounded.   
  
"Good. Come back here, and shut your eyes." She grabbed my wrist and started to lead me forward. “No peeking.” I followed her blindly until we came to a halt. "Now open." I opened my eyes and looked at Georgia's face then down once I felt something hit my leg. Below me stood a large litter of little kittens.   
  
"Oh my goddess how adorable are you guys?" I cooed, kneeling down and petting them. Their fur was at that super plush stage that just made you want to burry your face in them. I scratched one of the bolder kittens chins.   
  
"I'm glad you like them."   
  
"Why's that?"   
  
"Well Ash and I noticed you live on the farm all alone and we thought that you'd like some company." I stared at her speechless. "So figure out which one you like the most."   
  
"I cant.” I shook my head slowly. “I'd love to but I afford one." I said sheepishly.   
  
"Don't worry, consider it a gift." I shook my head faster now. That was too much. “Don't you ‘no’ me.” Her expression became stern. “You're taking one of these cuties home.”   
  
"That's so sweet of you." I looked down at the litter. Most of the kittens had orange and white fur. A few kittens were even calico. But one, the short haired runt, was all black and drew my attention immediately.   
  
"It was Ash's idea mostly." I couldn't stop smiling as I watched the tiny animals play. Innocently I reached out and played with one of their tails.   
  
"I'll have to find a way to thank you two properly." I started to pet the runt to see how he reacted.   
  
"Don't worry about it." She laughed.   
  
"You're one of the few people she seems to like." Grady said from behind me. I lifted the kitten to my face and let her sniff me.   
  
"I like her too."   
  
"You know it's unlucky to have a black cat on your farm though." Grady warned.   
  
"I don't care she's too cute to leave here." I grinned as the kitten mewed.   
  
"So you're keeping her?" Georgia asked.   
  
"Most definitely."   
  
"Then I'll go get you some food to take home with you." Grady said.   
  
I stood up, kitten in hand, and hugged Georgia tightly. "Thank you so much. I love her." The small bundle of fur squirmed a little before finding a comfortable position in my arms.   
  
"What are you going to name this little girl?" She asked.   
  
I thought for a moment. "Luna." The cat's yellow eyes reminded me of the bright stars and moon against the night sky.   
  
"Adorable." She giggled and pet the kitten. "I'm glad she found a loving home."

* * *

  
As I was walking home from the mountain area, I saw someone walking towards me from Grady's Shop. Judging by the mass of auburn hair it was Lillian. I didn't pay too much attention to her until I caught a glimpse of a pair of cat eyes peering out over her arm.   
  
"So, you got a new pet?" I asked, excited to see the small kitten. I barely tore my attention away from the cat to look up at the woman.   
  
"I did." She answered in a singsong tone.   
  
"Do you mind if I pet her?"   
  
"Go and try, Grady tells me she doesn't like too many people." I nodded and extended my finger, so the cat could smell it. I felt the cold nose touch my finger tip as she sniffed it. I delicately pet the kitten in her arms.   
  
"She's very well behaved." I muttered, feeling uncomfortable around Lillian.   
  
"Maybe she just didn't like Grady.” She joked. I just kept on petting the black kitten. “Hey Cam?” 

“Hmm?” I couldn't look away from those golden eyes and small nose.

“You clearly like cats.” I nodded in agreement. “Georgia and Grady just got a litter in so now would be a great time to get one."   
  
"Laney and Howard are both allergic." If there allergies weren't so severe I'd bring one home without a second thought.   
  
"I'm sorry to hear that.” She paused for a moment before speaking again. “Well you can come by and visit her anytime you'd like." I looked up at Lillian and noticed the sweet smile on her face.   
  
"O-oh, thank you." I stammered a bit. Before speaking again I forced myself to relax a little. "That's very kind of you."   
  
"No problem. I should probably get this little girl home." She stated.   
  
"Right. Well, um, have a good night." I pet the kitten once more. "And goodbye to you . . . "   
  
"Luna." She answered.   
  
"Luna." I tipped my cap at Lillian.   
  
"G’night." She waved goodbye before she walked off. I watched her as she strolled into the darkness. As soon as she vanished I continued walking home, swinging by Ash's barn on the way.   
  
"Ash?” I asked, looking into the barn. “Bro, you home?" I called before I hopped over the fence.   
  
"Cam? Come on in." I heard him yell. I walked into the barn and saw Ash by his prize winning cow, Agatha.  "You know 'bro' sounds _really_ weird when you say it." He commented.   
  
“That's what I get for trying to use some new lingo.” I smirked. "I'll be sure not to use it again."   
  
"So what's up?"   
  
"I just ran in to Lillian, she seemed really happy."   
  
"Why's that?" He became visibly excited.   
  
"Her new kitten was probably the reason."   
  
"So she liked it?" He grinned. "I'm glad."   
  
"As far as I could tell." For some reason it bothered me that he was so invested in Lillian. "Answer me this; why do you want to make her so happy?"   
  
Ash stared at his feet for a second and thought. "She's a great friend. I just like seeing her happy." I watched as his ears grew red, and an unfamiliar pang of jealousy ran through me. "Now just drop it okay."   
  
"Alright." I muttered. After a minute I spoke again. "How's Cheryl doing?" I leaned back, resting against the door frame.   
  
"She's doing well. Not too fond of the times I hang out with people other than her." I rolled my eyes, Ash always spoiled Cheryl. "She's going to hate it when I'm dancing with others at the festival." He smirked, amused by the idea of his sister's reaction. "Are you guys going to the Harmony Day festival?"   
  
"Laney and Howard are. I don't think I will." Ash strolled over leisurely and wrapped his arm around my shoulders.   
  
"You should. You might get to dance with Mikhail." I elbowed him in the gut with a little more force than I intended. He always liked getting a rise out of me. "Who knows, you might have fun."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Orange tree: sweetness, generosity


	7. Parsley

"You'll need fancier clothes than this." Georgia murmured. I sat on my bed as I watched her rummage through my closet.  
  
"I'm a farmer. I didn't think I'd need to own something super fancy." I crossed my arms defensively in front of my chest with a huff.  
  
"Well I guess I can make something work." She picked up a pink and white dress from the large mass of clothing. Her eyes scanned up and down the cotton dress, judging it silently. With a slight nod she hung it up on the doorknob.  
  
"I'm not sure how comfortable I feel dressing all fancy. It's just a simple festival. I mean, I'm not trying to attract anyone really."  
  
"Anyone? Or anyone really?" I cocked my head to one side.  
  
"What's the difference?" I heard he chuckle.  
  
"Anyone, means no one." She pulled out a white dress, judging it just like the last. "And anyone really means, you're open to it."  
  
"Oh." I stood up and looked over at the two dresses that had gotten her stamp of approval.  
  
"So no one catches your attention?" I flushed a bit. "Maybe Ash?" She prompted, looking at me out of the corner of her eye. Based on her expression she thought she was being sly.  
  
"I dunno. He's more of a good friend." I heard Luna meow downstairs as if on cue.  
  
"A friend who gets you a cat to make sure you don't feel alone."  
  
"Yeah." Georgia wasn't wrong, he was putting out some massive ‘date me’ vibes, and he was nice enough guy.  
  
"Which do you like best?" She asked holding up the two that passed her inspection. I looked between the two dresses and the the pink one looked too thin for spring. I pointed to the white one. "Perfect." She nodded approvingly and went back to rummaging through my closet.  
  
"So what's your Harmony Day about?" I asked, taking a seat on the edge of my bed.  
  
"Well, we dance to music, share great food and just enjoy one another's company."  
  
"So it's about couples?"

"Mostly." She said as she pulled out a small periwinkle cardigan and white tights.  
  
"Great." I groaned, now fully collapsed onto the bed.  
  
"Don't sound so negative. What's so wrong about being a couple in love?"  
  
"Nothing if you're you and Kana, but I'm not in love. I don't think I could be."  
  
"Is it because of what's his name. . . Will?” I listened to her steps as she made her way to my makeup table.  
  
"Yeah." I tried to sound nonchalant about him. I sat up quickly, as if doing so would prove that I wasn't bothered by Will.  
  
"You know no one in the Twin Villages has a temper like he did. The closest thing we have is Kana, and he's merely reckless." She shook her head slightly as she lifted up a white headband and silk ribbon.  
  
"I know." I agreed with a sigh.  
  
"Where are your shoes?" She asked, wanting to change the conversation.  
  
"Downstairs."  
  
"Alright you get dressed. I'll get your shoes, then I'll get dressed."  
  
"Then?" I groaned knowing my least favorite part was coming up.  
  
"It's time for makeup." I groaned and gently pushed her out of my room.  “I'll be back in a few.” With that i shut the door and got dressed. Still unaware of what Georgia wanted me to do with the white ribbon. Within minutes the redhead was back upstairs with my black mary-janes. "Go downstairs and play with Luna, just don't get any fur on you." I rolled my eyes and went downstairs to hang out.  
  
I sat at my small kitchen table and Luna hopped up looking for attention. "I not sure how I feel about tonight Luna. There's going to be dancing, and guys, and ugh." The kitten just looked back up at me wide-eyed, clearly unaware of what I was talking about. "It's just, Ash. I dunno, he's my friend." She mewed, which made me smile. "Thanks for the input." She meowed again, stood, and turned around being sure to hit me in the face with her tail before walking off.  
  
"Get your butt back up here Lillian." I climbed the stairs to see Georgia wearing a casual emerald colored dress. The vibrant green of her dress made her red hair pop.  
  
"Girl. Kana's going to love this. Five gold says he won't be able to keep his hands off you.” A twinge of red painted her cheeks as a large smile grew.  
  
"Thanks darlin’. Now sit." She pointed to my bed. I sighed and obdiently took a seat. As she moved the bubblegum scented wand towards my mouth I reflexively ducked away. The farmhand before me let out a frustrated laugh. "This isn't going to kill you.” She chided. I nodded once and returned to my posistion. “Why'd you even buy this stuff if you hate it so much?" She asked, spreading the sickly sweet gloss on my lips.  
  
"It was a gift from my friend Julia." I said once she was done. I rubbed my lips together trying to evenly distribute the formula.  
  
"Either way don't move." Georgia gently grabbed me by the chin and leaned forward. “Eyes open, and look up.” My body tensed when she came towards my eyes with a small brush covered in mascara. By the time she was done my face felt tacky and heavy.  
  
"How do women wear this every day?" I whined.  
  
"Stop complaining. It's not that bad." She grabbed the white ribbon and tied it into a small bow tie around my neck. “Perfect.” She grinned, proud of her work. “Dont touch your face.” Georgia disappeared around the corner for a few minutes so she could use my bathroom mirror to apply her makeup.  
  
"Are we taking my carriage to the mountaintop or are we walking?"  
  
"Walking." My butterflies fluttered in my stomach as I remembered my walk with Cam. _Why'd I even think about that?_ I blinked in surprise, completely blindsided by my own thoughts. _Ignore it_ . I reminded myself. "Don't worry, the path will be lit with torches this time." She chuckled. "Didn't you wonder why we're wearing comfier shoes?"  
  
"Comfy?" I scoffed. "These aren't comfy like my boots."  
  
"They don't go with your outfit." She emerged from the bathroom, makeup applied flawlessly. "And they have cow dung and mud on them." She folded her arms. I looked away sheepishly.  
  
"Only mud. I washed off the cowpies." I wasn't making much of a case and I knew it.

 -×-

Georgia and I arrived at the mountain top at sunset, before the first song started. I saw Mikhail sitting on his stool, tuning his violin. "Heya Snowball.” I called and ran over to him. He stood and smiled.  
  
"Good evening Lillian. Don't you look beautiful tonight." I blushed a little, uncomfortable with the flattery.  
  
"You look beautiful too. . . I mean handsome.” I laughed nervously. “Yeah, handsome’s what you call guys.”

“That's not true, beauty is universal.” He said with a smile.

“So are you trying to get anyone's attention? Like a handsome young doctor?" I nudged him gently with my elbow.  
  
"If only I could” He lamented. “But music needs to be played." I rolled my eyes, then nodding understanding that it wouldn't be much of a dance.  
  
"Excuses, excuses." I teased. My eyes gazed towards the crowd of people in front of us and a knot formed in the pit of my stomach. Everyone was dressed in semi formal attire, already happily talking away. The older generations were busy keeping to themselves, no one over the age of forty was going to break away form their towns clique.

My eyes fell upon Ash who was laughing with Dirk and Kana. I avoided staring and direct eye contact with him, just so I didn't draw his attention. Howard stood behind a large collapsible table, every square inch of which was covered in food. Both Rutger and Ina stood rigid and at polar opposite sides on the festival grounds; occasionally staring daggers at one another. And then my eyes fell on Cam. I was surprised to see him at all, nonetheless dressed for the occasion. He wore dark blue slacks, a beige vest, white shirt, and a dark purple blazer.  
  
"What about you m’dear?"  
  
"Huh? What?" I turned my attention back to Mikhail.  
  
"Are you looking forward to any particular dance?" He had a smirk plastered on his face.  
  
"Who me? Psssh, no." My voice was supposed to be strong but my voice cracked. "I'm just going to enjoy my time with friends." I assured him, only hearing a dismissive 'mmm-hmm' come from Mikhail. "Oh shut it." I grumbled. “I'm gonna take a seat, I'll see you in a little bit.” I waved to him as I stepped away.

I walked over towards the fence that lined the cliffs edge and spread out a small picnic blanket I'd brought. I sat down carefully, not wanting to flash all my neighbors, and watched as everyone chatted with one another. Soon Mikhail’s dulcet tones filled the air. A wave of tranquility washed over me, this was just a town event _. I can handle this._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Parsley: festivity


	8. Hydrangea

The two mayors watched everyone, clearly miserable with the situation. However, each year on Harmony Day, they feigned peace to unite the towns. At least that's what I'd always been told. "Everyone grab a partner a-” Rutger began before Ina swiftly cut him off

“Because it's time for the first dance!” I had no idea why the older mayor looked so surprised, stuff like that happened at almost every festival. As usual everyone under the age of thirty five ignored the animosity between our two mayors and grabbed a partner. Reina grabbed Hiro by the wrist and brought him to the dance area. Ash was dragged by Laney before he had a chance to move on his own. Georgia and kana were already with one another. Dirk and Nori awkwardly inched closer to one another. Even the adults started to pair off with other residents. 

I looked up at Howard just wanting to stand by someone I knew. “I'm glad you decided to come.”

“You didn't really give me a choice.” I noted.

“Come now, it's not like this is a bunch of strangers, you've known them your whole life.”

“But. . ..” I began to protest but whatever argument I could muster had no leg to stand on. “I mean I still don't like crowds.” Folding my arms with a huff.

“Why dont you go take a seat, talk to someone.” The giant of a man scanned the crowd clearly looking for something. “Maybe you'll find a way to have a little fun. There's an empty seat over there.” Howard nodded his head towards the edge of the festival grounds. I followed his gaze to see Lillian sitting by herself.

I shook my head slightly. “Thanks. I'm good with the whole social interaction thing for today.” I had made a fool out of myself once before, and that was enough. With the crowd and anxiety the way it was there was no way I would make it out of that interaction looking good.

“I promise you it won't be as bad as you think.” He insisted.

“You couldn't possibly know that.”

“I know she's a very kind woman who's sitting by herself and looking very lonely.” Out of the corner of my eye I looked over at Lillian again. Howard was right. There she sat isolated and looking at everyone dance.

“. . . No.” I insisted. Howard nodded more ferociously at the woman and I sighed and nodded in agreement. I inhaled deeply and glanced at Lillian. Slowly I made my way over to the farmer.  
  
"Do you mind if I, um, sit with you?" I asked. My words caught in my throat and I was kicking myself for it. She turned to me, surprise plastered on her face, and smiled.  
  
"Of course, there's plenty of blanket for you." She gestured to the open space beside her and I took a seat.  A minute had gone by with neither of us speaking.  
  
"What are you thinking about?" I asked awkward and desperate to make this less weird.  
  
"People watching." She hummed. "It's a fun pastime of mine." She paused to think before speaking again. "I'm surprised you aren't dancing with Laney."  
  
"Clearly she chose Ash for a first dance." I shrugged, adjusting myself so I was now cross legged. "Besides Laney and I aren't a couple." My face twisted in disgust briefly.  
  
"Thats not what I was implying.” She turned to look at me before speaking again. “Dancing is dancing, who needs to be a couple to enjoy it?" Her laugh wavered a little. Was she trying to cover her nervousness?  
  
"I suppose." Again silence. I watched as the colorful blur of citizens swirled past us.  
  
"Lillian!" Georgia called from the edge of the dance area. "Dance or I swear to the goddess I'll make you pay." This caused Lillian to chuckle. If she knew Georgia, she'd know that the poor girl couldn't get revenge if her life depended on it.  
  
I glanced over at Lillian watching as the comforting sound escaped her. "Well I can only imagine that Georgia's wrath would be something to fear." I smirked.  
  
"Really? But she's so sweet." Lillian feigned shock.  
  
"It could be a cover for all we know. Heck, she could be plotting right now." This made her that warm laugh escape her again. "So?"  
  
"Hmm?" She looked up at me with those large blue eyes, an eyebrow arched in mild confusion.  
  
"Would you like to dance?" Instinctively I pulled my lower lip between my teeth and bit. _Where had I gotten this new wave of courage from?_ “I mean, we don't have to if you don't want to.” I instantly backpedaled.  
  
"N-no that's not what I . . ." She stammered and took a breath. “I'd really like that.” Lillian placed her hand in mine. It was surprising that it was so soft considering how much work she did with her hands. Her balance wavered as she adjusted her footing on the uneven dirt. I held her hand tighter when she stood and led her to the dance floor. Gentle hands came to rest on my shoulders. Instinctively I froze at the touch, but I took a deep breath and reminded myself that this was in fact my doing. I carefully touched the small of her back and recoiled my hand like I had touched a hot surface. I dared to meet her gaze. Her cheeks were the color of cherry blossoms and her smile was reassuring. Again I touched her back, letting my hand rest there.  
  
I could feel my heart pounding against my ribcage like it was trying to escape. _Oh Gods I hope she can't hear it._ I looked down noticing that she was staring straight ahead at my chest. I'd never been so thankful for my height before. There was no way we could make uncomfortable eye contact or catching one another staring. Having a woman this close was completely new to me and it wasn't as bad as I'd thought. The delicate scent of rose blossoms and argan oil wafted up. and coconuts hit my nose. It was pleasant and oddly relaxing. The music matched the setting perfectly. As time went on I grew more and more aware of where my hands were, making me blush.  
  
"How are you liking the towns?" I asked, happy that she didn't look up.  
  
"It's certainly different from the Islands but that's not a bad thing. Bluebell is starting to feel like home. Plus, everyone's been so nice it's impossible to feel unwelcome.” Lillian looked up at me with a grin.  
  
"I'm really glad you're enjoying our towns." He said quietly. He was surprised by his answer. I glanced down at those vibrant cerulean eyes again, it still felt odd making eye contact with her.  
  
"So, what are you getting in this summer?"  
  
I quickly ran through my list, biting my lip as I thougjt. "My supplier and I haven't narrowed out all the details but I know I'm getting in some roses and sunflowers. I'm also getting some new perfumes in."  
  
"What scents?"  
  
"I know for a fact one smells like the ocean. I have yet to finalize the other blend."  
  
"The ocean?" She smiled. "Save a bottle for me. I bet it'll smell amazing."  
  
"I will." We spent the rest of the dance in silence. But the silence wasn't uncomfortable like it was earlier. Maybe she figured out that I wasn't much of a talker? At least, I hope that's the case. I was enjoying myself at a festival and I didn't want this dance to end, but it did.

“Thank you." She said as we slowed to a halt.  
  
"Any time." Suddenly I felt a light tap on my right shoulder. I turned to see my half-brother’s face.  
  
"May I cut in?" Ash asked. The young woman beside me nodded.  
  
"Thank you again for the dance." I smiled and tipped my cap before stepping away. I had a hunch about what Ash was planning and didn't want to intrude.

 

* * *

 

I watched as Cam stepped away before Ash's voice brought me back to our conversation. "You look lovely tonight." Ash said, making my cheeks grow hot.  
  
"Thank you. You look good yourself." A smile pulled at his lips. Without any hesitation he wrapped his hands firmly around my waist. I wasn't exactly a fan of his more aggressive handling, it reminded me a bit too much of Will. I knew it wasn't intentional, that he didn't know his own strength and that he was easily excitable. But there was nothing I could do at this point.  
  
"How's the farm doing?" I dared to look behind Ash to see Cheryl glaring at me. Even as we turned I could still feel the  
  
"Well, and yours?"  
  
"Just great." I waited for the song to end to see if Cheryl would barge in. She didn't so I continued. "You know, your sister isn't too happy with me right now." Despite the fact that the music had started up again they didn't move around too much.  
  
"She can wait." This surprised me, from who I'd seen he never kept Cheryl waiting. "There's something I wanted to talk to you about." My chest tightened and I started to have trouble breathing.  
  
"What's that?" I asked feigning innocence.  
  
"I was wondering if you would like to go out on a date sometime." He asked quietly, not wanting to draw attention.  
  
"Oh, Ash. " I forced a smile. "I appreciate your kindness." I had no idea how to soften the blow. I could see the sadness start to take hold. "I'm so sorry. I just, I'm not ready to date yet." I took a small step back wanting to give him some space, but his grasp didn't losen.  
  
"May I ask why?" Disappointment coated his words.  
  
"It's just. . . after Will, I'm just not ready yet." He nodded.  
  
"Right. I should have figured as much." His tone perked up as he tried to hide any note of sadness in his voice. The two ceased all movement.  
  
"I hope you can forgive me." _Oh Gods I feel so guilty. He took a chance and I hurt him_ . I couldn't help but blame myself. If Will hadn't been as nasty as he was I might’ve been over him by now. But no. I had to get caught up in his bullshit.  
  
"Yeah." He smiled, trying to keep the tone light. I extended my arms, offering a hug. He returned the gesture. "I hope one day, when you're ready, you'll come find me."  
  
I smiled and nodded softly. "Of course." I didn't know what else I could say.  
  
"Can we finish this dance?" Again I nodded and we continued swaying back and forth to the music.  
  
When the music slowed I offered him another hug. "How can I thank you for Luna?"  
  
"You don't have to, she was a gift."  
  
"Still." Lightly, I kissed his hand.  "You are a very sweet man. Thank you." I didn't owe him anything, and logically I knew that, but I couldn't help but feel bad.  
  
"No, thank _you_ ."  
  
"Now go. Your sister is fuming." He chuckled, trying to lighten the mood.  
  
"Alright." We both shifted awkwardly.  
  
"I'll see you soon. Right?"  
  
"Yeah." I returned to my blanket and watched Ash try to calm his little sister down. _I feel so bad._ A mix of guilt and shame washed over me  I hope that was letting him down easy There was no way I was ready to date again. Learning that Will was using me for his inheritance really made me distrusting.

For an hour I sat in silence watching my friends enjoy the festival. I didn't want to ruin anyone else's good time. Quietly Eileen sat beside me after noticing I was alone. She didn't push for conversation, she just sat and let me think. I kept my gaze up at the stars deep in thought, grateful that I wasn't alone right now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hydrangea: Thank you for understanding


	9. Bittersweet

It had been a week since the Harmony Festival and I hadn't spoken to Ash since that day. Whenever I went into town I avoided walking too close to his family's corral. I knew he needed time and I didn't want to make him uncomfortable. Cheryl was most unhappy with me, giving me the stink eye every time I'd walk within a hundred feet of her.  

I leaned back on one of the old wooden fence posts that lined my cows pen and basked in the warmth of the mid-afternoon sun and realized that all my chores were done for the day. Part of me wanted a nap, and a larger part of me wanted to drink. Not having much else to do I took a walk into the mountain's forest. I decided to bring little picnic with me. Tucked in my beat up basket was a large sandwich, some cherries, and most importantly a large thermos of red wine. I figured that if I was going to drink and relax I'd rather do it somewhere pretty.  
  
I spread my blanket out in field of verdant grass that was nestled between a patch of daisies and the stream. The glow of the sun thawed my body. The field of daisies growing beside me caught my attention. Each flower was standing tall, gently swaying with the breeze and basking in the sun.  

I removed the thermos of wine from my picnic basket and began to drink. The sweet flavor of cherries and the familiar twinge of alcohol. Ash's disappointed face and tone played in my mind. _I'm such a terrible person._  I thought before shaking the thoughts out of my mind. Clearly I needed to distract myself more. I took another big swig of wine and looked over at the flowers again. 

I did my best to carefully break the daisies' stems so they were long. Mindlessly I started weaving the flowers into a chain, and the chain soon became a crown. The repetitive motion of the flower weaving was so engrossing that I was unaware of the fact that I wasn't alone. Until I heard someone speak.  
  
"You shouldn't pick flowers that aren't yours." Despite not needing to, I looked over my shoulder anyway to see Cam, sketchbook in hand.  
  
"Sorry." I said half-heartedly. "I didn't know that you were growing these for your shop."  
  
"I'm not.” He protested. “They just, they weren't yours to take."  
  
"Again, sorry. But I can't undo the fact that they've been picked. I'll just plant more. You sell seeds anyway." I locked eyes with him, making it very easy to spot his doubt. "Scouts honor."  
  
"Alright." He started to walk away, back to town.  
  
"You don't need to run away. Come sit, relax." No response. "I know it's Thursday, but don't let my company ruin your day off." I pat the ground next to me and waited patiently. Something about him seemed off. He strolled over reluctantly and took a seat. I moved my basket so it was on the opposite side of me. "I brought a sandwich and cherries, you can have some if you want." I waited patiently. Again, no response. This was beginning to aggravate me. "Alright, let's not play this game." I groaned.  
  
"What game?" His voice was flat.  
  
"This whole 'something is clearly bothering me but I wanna pretend that it's nothing' thing." I emphasized with air quotes. "It's annoying when girls do it and it's more annoying now." I looked back at my flower crowns.  
  
"There's nothing bothering me."  
  
"Bullshit." I spat. Swearing wasn't something I did often unless I was really irritated. "You're less subtle about it than most women I've met." I could feel him glaring at me. "Just cut the crap so we can move past it. Okay?" My tone was growing bitter now. We sat in silence for a good five minutes before he decided to speak.  
  
"You really hurt Ash." I peeked at him from the corner of my eye. "And I don't like that." It was painfully obvious that talking about this sort of thing wasn't something he'd usually do.  
  
"I didn't mean to." I sighed. As if I didn't already feel bad enough. "He's a great friend and a sweet guy." I turned to look at him but Cam was just staring at the sky.  
  
"Then why did you do that to him?" His tone was cold.  
  
"I didn't mean to." I repeated, knowing how pathetic it sounded.  
  
"Then why did you?" He said much angrier this time. Clearly that wasn't an acceptable answer.  
  
"Because . . ." I thought for a minute. "of something my brother did." He turned to face me now, admittedly my phrasing wasn't the best, so I kept explaining. "He somehow got the brilliant idea in his head that if I was married I wouldn't want to leave home." Memories of Will came flooding back. For a minute I was back there, face to face with his drunken rage. I could feel the familiar burning in my eyes and within seconds tears started streaming down my face. I couldn't bring myself to continue explaining things.

 

* * *

  
_Oh Goddess no._ I thought. I hated being mad at her, but she hurt Ash. Now I try to get an explanation as to why she was did what she did and then; tears. My body froze, I didn't know what to do when girls cried. Any time Laney cried Howard was the one to fix it. I sat there, feeling like a jackass, unsure how to respond.  
  
"There, there?" I awkwardly pat her back, which seemed to go unnoticed. "Please don't cry." I begged. "I didn't know."  
  
"It's okay." She sniffed, trying to stop herself. Clearly this situation wasn't over with as she kept crying. I looked down at her and saw her hunched over defensively. A huge pang of guilt gut punched me.  
  
"Is there anything I can do?" I thought about the time of the month when Laney got very weepy. "Do you want ice cream? Chocolates? Sweets?" Each suggestion just made her shake her head. I internally groaned, this was all Ash's fault. _I just had to get involved, didn't I?_ It was almost surreal to see her in such a vulnerable state, every time I saw her she couldn't keep the smile off her face. As if she didn't have a care in the world. "You want to talk about it?" I asked, reaching for ideas. Another 'no' from the farmer. I sighed quietly and thought about what else Howard did.  
  
Last shot, I thought as I pulled her into an awkward hug with one arm. She leaned in, resting her head on my shoulder. With both my arms wrapped around her shoulders, I brought her in closer. Something about this seemed more intimate then when we were dancing. You could dance with anyone, siblings, relatives, loved ones, even mops if one was desperate; but I don't go around hugging everyone. Hell, I've only hugged Laney a handful of times in our lives. Hesitantly I rested my chin on her head. "I'm sorry." I mumbled as her tears slowly stopped.  
  
Once she calmed down the two of us sat side-by-side, sandwich halves in hand. "These are good." I said taking a small bite of the sandwich.  
  
"Thanks." Her voice was still small. She took a sip from her giant thermos.  
  
"I didn't know you had a brother." I said quietly.  
  
"I don't advertise it too much." She offered up the thermos. I took it and sniffed the mystery drink. Cherry wine. I took a small sip of wine testing out the bold flavor.  
  
"I don't either." She looked up at me a puzzled expression on her face. Her large blue eyes were red and puffy.  
  
"Explain." She said. All I did in return was roll my eyes at the demand. "Hey, I spilled my beans, I think it's only fair." I took another bite of my sandwich and took a large sip of wine.  
  
"Alright." I sighed and took a larger drink this time. "Ash, is my half-brother." She nodded, clearly not surprised. "And I don't tell people because Jessica isn't too fond of me."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Half-brothers, but I'm not her son. As you can imagine it caused a bit of bad-blood." She nodded and finished her sandwich half. “Plus, it's a small town so this is kinda taboo. For most people we're not related.”  
  
"That would explain why you were so protective, and why you live with Howard." She took another big swig of wine.  
  
"Yeah." I said not wanting to talk more.  
  
"He's a kind man." She pulled out a small container of cherries and offered me some.  
  
"He sure is." I froze when she leaned up against me again.  
  
"It was sweet of you, defending Ash like that."  
  
I looked up at the sky again before I spoke. "Wouldn't you do the same?"  
  
She didn't speak for several minutes. "I suppose so." She popped a cherry in her mouth followed by another sip of wine, this one smaller than the others. "But he'd have to be really hurt."  
  
She sat up suddenly and removed my hat. "H-hey!" I tried to snatch it back but couldn't, she tucked it under the skirt of her dress, knowing I wouldn't dare go after it. She picked up a bunch of daisies and dropped them on my head. It took me a second to realize she wove it into a crown. I looked over and saw her giggling, my hat on her head.  
  
"Don't pout. You're now the Pansy king of Bluebell." Her laughter grew harder as she explained the joke. "Oh come on it's funny." I looked at her smiling face, relieved that she was finally cheering up.  
  
"No. It isn't." I stared blankly at her.  
  
"Come on don't be a sourpuss." She stuck her tongue out. Either she had more to drink than I thought or she was a real lightweight.  
  
"I get enough 'pansy' jokes from Laney and Ash. I don't need them from you."  
  
"Alright." The laughter started to fade. "Sheesh. No more jokes. I just thought I needed to lighten the mood a little." She laid down, covering her face with my hat. I wanted to grab it from her but she seemed so peaceful. I shrugged and laid down next to her in the warm sun, covering my eyes with my arm. We occasionally passed the container of wine back and forth, taking sips of it from time to time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bittersweet: Truth


	10. Day Lily

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really trying to edit these chapters quickly so I can transfer them here. But my god, there's so much I want to fix!

My eyebrows twitched as I felt cold drops of water hit my face. A groan escaped me as I sat up. Taking a quick sweep of my surroundings I couldn't remember when I passed out. One minute we were joking and drinking from a comically large thermos, the next. . . 

I looked to my left and Lillian was still asleep,using my hat as her pillow. More rain hit my face. Despite the fact that I didn't need to confirm the fact that it was raining I did. Black storm clouds loomed ominously above us. I leaned over and nudged Lillian's arm. "Hey wake up." After a bit of shaking she finally sat up.   
  
"What's going on? What time is it?" She groaned a little as she looked to the watch she wasn't wearing.    
  
"I think we fell asleep while were drinking. . . and it's, um, raining." I stated the obvious. She leaned forward steadying herself with her hands. The collar of her dress inched further down as she stood, revealing a few more inches of her sun kissed skin. My throat suddenly felt dry. I looked away almost immediately; reminding myself that it was creepy to stare at a woman's chest. 

“Thanks for waking me up.” Even though her voice was still laced with sleep I could hear that the cheerful tone had returned. She adjusted her hem before she reassembled her picnic basket. As if on cue the rain grew heavier. "Get up." She gently tugged at the blanket underneath me and I rolled forward into a stand. As I watched her quickly fold the blanket I put returned my hat to its rightful spot crushing the daisies more than my nap did.   
  
"Right." I muttered. "Pansy king of Bluebell." I heard her giggled.   
  
"It suits you. The crown I mean, not the title." She corrected herself quickly remembering our agreement.   
  
"Come on before the rain gets any worse." We hurried back to town as fast as possible but the rain couldn't be beaten. It was a full downpour by the time we reached the road to Lillian's home.

“You know you don't have to walk me home. I think I know my way by now.” She teased. I looked towards her out of the corner of my eye, catching a glimpse of her.

“I know I don't  _ have _ to but after earlier, I think it's the least I can do.” The path was nothing more than mud as we walked down it. We walked as quickly as we could, which wasn't easy in slick mud.   
  
I had no idea what happened, but one minute she was in my line of sight the next she was gone. I looked down at her, flat on her back in mud.   


 

* * *

 

Laughing, I heard him laughing. I had no idea what had just happened, all I knew was that I felt disgusting. The fall had knocked the wind out of me and the first few breaths I took hurt. I opened my eyes to see Cam standing over me laughing. I glared, irritated by his mocking. "Stop." I warned.

  
"I'm sorry . . . but," The more irritated I got the harder he laughed. "It's just . . ." He couldn't even manage to get a sentence out. I've never seen this man let out more than a chuckle, I assumed he was incapable of laughing like this. It was as if he hadn't laughed in years.   
  
"Stop." I said again, hoping he would get the message. He didn't. I smirked and grabbed his ankle tightly. The second I grabbed hold of him he stopped his giggle fit.   
  
"Lillian." He looked at me suspiciously. "You don't want to."   
  
"Oh, yes. Yes I do." I assured him. A wicked grin underlining my threat.   
  
"I'm sorry, it's just funny to see you like that."   
  
"Is it funny now pretty boy?" I easily pulled his leg out from under him. He wobbled for a moment as he attempted to keep his balance but ultimately he couldn't. He toppled back. I couldn't see him hit the ground but I heard the muddy squelch. I was surprised that he went down so easily, I guess balancing wasn't his strong suit. I released his ankle before sitting up.   
  
"Lillian!" He shouted. Cam's voice wasn't angry he sounded more suprised than anything else. It was now my turn to cackle. Hoping to get some distance I started scooting away, but something tugged at the hem of my skirt. I turned around to see a very muddy and very displeased florist, I could barely breathe I was laughing so hard. Suddenly I felt a firm muddy hand pat my face. I stared at him, I was at a loss for words. I stared at him, mouth agape, for a brief moment while I tried to figure out the best course of action.   
  
"Sorry buddy but it was payback." I mused while wiping the thick mud from my face. "Truce?" I suggested, fully aware of how long this 'tit-for-tat' could go on. He eyed me carefully as I stood. I could now feel the weight of my soaking wet clothes.   
  
"Truce." He agreed. I offered him a hand up from the large mud puddle. I looked down at my mud covered dress and sighed, these were going to need a good scrubbing. "I think I'm going to head home and clean off."   
  
"Can't blame you there." I smiled. "I had fun hanging out, even if we were asleep for part of it."   
  
"Yeah." He looked at his feet for a second. "Have a good night." He bowed his head slightly before walking away. I watched him vanish behind some of the trees that surrounded my property. As I turned away something purple caught my eye. I bent over and took a closer look. I picked up Cam's muddy wool hat and sighed.   
  
"This is going to be a pain to clean." I muttered and walked into my home.   
  


* * *

  
"What happened to you?" Howard asked the minute I walked into the café. I groaned. I really hoped to avoid this.   
  
"Nothing." I said. "I fell . . . down a hill . . . and landed in mud." I said trying to think of a believable lie.   
  
"Uh-huh." It was obvious he didn't believe me but he turned his attention back to his cherry pie. "Where did your hat go? You left with it this morning." I touched my muddy head, hoping he was joking.   
  
"I guess it's with Lillian." I thought aloud.   
  
"With Lillian huh? You spent some time with her?" I could tell this was making him excited, i could damn near feel the anticipation eminating from him. No matter what my uncle always loved to hear gossip.   
  
"Yeah. I had to talk to her." Before now I was unaware that adult men were capable of giggling like a school-girl. Then again, it was Howard.   
  
"About what?"   
  
"Ash." His expression changed to that of disappointment. "Now if you don't mind I'd like to get this mud off of me." I walked upstairs past Laney's room.   
  
"Don't leave a mess in there for me to clean up." She chastised. I looked behind me seeing a trail of mud.   
  
"Sorry Laney, it's a little late for that. I'll clean it up after my shower." This caused her to look out into the hallway.   
  
"What the-" I held up my hand, stopping her mid-sentence.   
  
"Just don't." I urfed. She nodded and returned to what I could only assume was a book.   
  
I decided to shower since a bath would be nothing but dirt soup. What had come over me today? I was supposed to be mad for Ash but I hugged her. I hugged someone that wasn't my family. The thought made my stomach flip. I watched her cry, hugged her and then we played in the mud. What was happening to me? I felt like I betrayed Ash. I exhaled deeply and just stood there, hot water pouring down on me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Day lily: flirtatious behavior


	11. Lavender

The next Monday I sat in Konohana's tea house with Nori, Eileen and Reina. I didn't get a chance to cross the mountain too often. Especially with how busy Eileen can get but I made a point to get all my work done early so I could hang out with the girls.  
  
"What can I get you ladies?" The elderly owner asked. Yun was always nice to her customers no matter which side of the mountain they were from. It was was really heart warming. My eyes skimmed over the handmade menu. Dainty floral filigree decorated the margins and showed just how much love went into designing her spring menu.   
  
"I'd like the tempura bowl ma'am." Eileen spoke first, glasses slipping down her nose when she turned to look at Nori.   
  
"Miso soup please." The seamstress requested politely.   
  
"Tofu salad Yun." Said Reina.   
  
I thought for a moment as the woman turned to me. "Kitsune Udon sounds interesting. I'd like to try that." I smiled at her. There was so much that I had yet to try and all the descriptions Yun wrote on the menus sounded to tempting. The Sunshine Islands never had cuisine like this.   
  
"I'll bring your orders out when they're ready." We thanked her before she left for the kitchen.   
  
I sat there peacefully sipping my tea. I felt eyes staring. "You're skin looks lovely today Lillian." Nori said.   
  
"Thank you." I said with a laugh, unsure of what brought that on. I wasn't against a random compliment but it just felt a little out of the blue.   
  
"Did you use a mud mask recently?" Eileen struggled to play it cool but she was too busy trying to stifle a laugh. I coughed on the tea I had started to swallow.   
  
"What? Who told you?" I asked with a pout. The Konohana girls looked between us, clearly confused.   
  
"Howard, duh." I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. Howard was the biggest blabbermouth I've ever known, making the ever talkative Dirk seem reserved in comparison. As well meaning as Howard's openness was there seemed to a lack of a filter. Well, for the most part.   
  
"What happened?" Reina questioned, her monotone voice barely changing.   
  
"Yes tell us." Nori pleaded much more innocently then Reina seemed.   
  
"Nothing." I said hoping to stop the questioning. "I slipped and fell in the rain." The carpenter snickered.   
  
"That' not what I heard." Eileen said in a sing-song tone that was currently very grating on my ears. The other two looked on expectedly.   
  
"I won't tell it." I muttered, refusing to partake in the gossip.   
  
"I will then." She said quickly. "So, Howard told me that Cam came home covered in mud without his hat. And this is after he spent the day with missy here." She pointed at me with her thumb.   
  
"You spent the day with _him_ ?" Reina asked, nose crinkling in disgust.   
  
"What's so wrong with that?" I asked more defensively than I intended.   
  
"I must agree with Reina. Why are you hanging out with him?" Nori added, her voice as sweet as it usually was. The judgement, though less obvious than Reina's, was still there.   
  
"Why not?" As far as I could tell Cam seemed like a very likable and sweet person, very similar to Vaughn.   
  
"Well it's just . . ." Nori started, unable allow herself to be outright rude.   
  
"He's anti-social, rude, and just seems boring." Reina said, saying what Nori was thinking.   
  
"I agree, somewhat." Eileen chimed in, not quite sharing the same distaste as the others did.   
  
"You guys make it sound like he's some huge jerk." I didn't get it. Every time we talked he didn't come off as boring or rude.   
  
"Well he isn't exactly a jerk but he doesn't really like anyone other than Ash, Laney, and Howard." Eileen said. I couldn't believe what I was hearing there's no way Cam had lived here for what seemed to be his whole life and made so few friends. You'd think just being exposed to someone for so long would give you, at the very least, a neutral opinion of them.

"Yeah. He's never super social at gatherings, if he even danes to come. And if he does decide to talk things always get awkward and he walks away." The botanist added. There was no way he was _that_ bad.   
  
"He's not like that with me." I thought aloud. "I mean he's moody sometimes but generally he's polite. I don't think he's rude per-say, he's just shy and awkward." I shrugged, finishing off my oolong tea.   
  
"Why are you so . . . good at dealing with him?" I looked over at a curious Nori, who looked at me from under her thick lashes.   
  
"Well, he's kinda like my friend, Vaughn. It took a long time for him to warm up to others but eventually my friend Chelsea got through, and to a lesser extent I did too. He's really reserved and awkward around people but he's such a good guy." I remembered how cold he was when he first came to the islands and how determined Chelsea was to become friends. "When Cam helped me home the first night we met I could see he was trying and I wanted to make as many friends as possible." I smiled and continued. "Vaughn was the same way and we became great friends eventually." I stopped when Yun came over to serve us our food.   
  
"Enjoy girls." She bowed slightly and we thanked her before I continued.   
  
"As far as the mud goes," I thought about what exactly I wanted to share. "I fell in a large mud puddle, then he laughed. I thought I'd let him see how funny it was first hand." I decided to keep the time in the field to myself. "A bit childish I'll admit but his laughter was uncalled for." I ate a large mouthful of my udon, the spice stung my tongue and sent a warm sensation through my body.   
  
"He laughed?" Eileen asked, surprised. "Well, I'll be damned." She smirked and started to eat.   
  
"So how's mission Dirk going?" I asked Nori, desperately trying to change the topic again. This made the young woman flush and turn her attention the bowl below her.   
  
"Not well. I was hoping he'd ask me out at the festival but I had no such luck." She sighed, sounding defeated.   
  
"Why not ask him out?" I suggested.   
  
"I could never do that." She gasped, her cheeks becoming a vibrant pink. “I think I'd die of embarrassment.” To her credit I didn't think she'd die. Faint probably, but not die.   
  
"My Nori is a delicate little cherry blossom, such a stressful situation would be bad for her health." Reina hugged the woman protectively. "Besides Dirk should-"   
  
"Speaking of the festival," Eileen interjected, knowing Reina would rant for a while. "What was with that dance with Ash?" I groaned. I was my least favorite subject to talk about.   
  
"Can't talk; eating." I stuffed more food in my mouth.   
  
"Aww come on, you can tell us." I shook my head no. "Fine." The carpenter pouted. She turned her attention back to Nori's issue. "I think I have an idea."   
  
"What's that?" She asked, face still pink.   
  
"Your birthday." Eileen grinned. "We tell him you just wanted a small gathering with friends, but we ask him to come an hour or two early, and presto alone time."   
  
"Eileen! That's deceitful."   
  
"Besides," I chimed in. ", he could just leave and come back later." I watched Nori pick at her food delicately.

"It'll happen soon enough. You can't force these things." Nori gave me a grateful smile as I spoke.  
  
Before I left Konohana I had one last thing I needed to get Yun to cook one last thing; doria. It was a difficult ride back to Bluebell since I didn't want to spill the food. I madw sure Duke moved slowly, as I held the reigns with one hand.

Instead of heading home I went to Jessica's to see if Ash was there. No luck, so I decided to swing by the café hoping that's where he'd be. I didn't want to leave the gift at his home because I wanted him to eat it while it was still warm. Besides, who wants to miss the look of surprise on a friends face?  
  
"Hi Lillian!" Howard greeted from his counter when I entered the café. "Cam isn't here today." I blinked a few times; his opening line catching me off guard.   
  
"Hello Howard." I said just as cheery as ever, bring sure to not pay any mind to his comment. "I'm looking for someone else." I turned to my right to see Ash sitting with Laney. "There you are!" I briskly walked towards the table, setting the take out container on the corner closest to me.   
  
"Lillian, what do you need?" Her biting tone was just as unpleasant as the look she was giving me.   
  
"I came by to give the birthday boy his gift." I smiled at Ash. "Here." I slid the dish forward so it now sat next to his dirty plate.   
  
"Thank you." He avoided eye contact with me but still smiled politely. "May I ask what it is?"   
  
"Doria. A little birdie told me it was your favorite." I could see happiness wash over his face.   
  
"Did you make this for me?" The excitement in his voice made me wonder if this was giving him false hope.   
  
"No! Oh gods, I'm a terrible chef, so to avoid giving you food poisoning I had Yun make an extra special batch just for you." He laughed and opened the box's lid to take a whiff.   
  
"It smells delicious. Thank you again."   
  
"Any time." I gave him a one armed hug. "I have to go and get back to work now.” I lied. “But I hope to see you again soon." I pulled away from the half hug and saw Laney glaring at me. I did my best to ignore it.   
  
"I'd like that. Let me know when you're free." Part of me could tell that it was just him being polite.

On my way out I was sure to ask Howard if I could drop off Cam's hat before I fotgot. I left it with him, hoping he wouldn't make a bigger deal out of it. I was just returning a friends hat. I reminded myself. "Later guys!”

The last thing I wanted to do before heading home was check the bulletin board. A large yellow sheet of paper was pinned dead center on the board. In bold font it read Cooking Competition Sign-up Sheet. Dandling next to that was a pen held up by a piece of twine. No one had signed up yet so I put my name down. Like I told Ash I wasn't much of a baker but I could manage to bake a half decent dessert.  


* * *

  
I returned home from the city later than I had anticipated. In fact it was close to midnight when I got back to Howard's. It was too late to give Ash his birthday present tonight. I entered my room as quietly as possible, trying to not wake Laney or Howard, and flicked the lights on. Sitting on my bed I spotted my purple hat and a note. I picked up the folded piece of paper and read the small handwriting.   
  
" _Sorry it took so long to get this back to you. I wanted to make sure it was as clean as possible before I returned it. I kept it by a bouquet of wildflowers while it dried so it would smell good when you got it back._  
  
_-Lillian"_   
  
I lifted up the hat and sniffed it. Lavender. I smiled a little and tossed the hat on my dresser.


	12. Vanilla Orchid

A week had passed since I had signed up for the competition and today was festival day. I had Georgia explain the basics to me yesterday. Based on what she told me it was a three person team, each of us was responsible for cooking the dish we signed up for, and finally that both teams were judged as a whole so one bad dish would secure our defeat.

I walked out to my chicken coop to gather the eggs I needed and to feed the chickens. Hens circled me as I entered their home, I couldn't help but smile at how excited they were to see me. Each of them received a small scritch as I greeted them. "Good morning Feathers, Wiggles, and Pip." I saw my rooster watching carefully from the corner. No matter how nice I was too him he wasn't going to trust me around his flock. "And good morning to you Fancy Pants." They followed me eagerly as I walked over to a bag of seed. I threw large handfuls of feed to distract the chickens so I could collect the eggs.  
  
I also had to take care of my lone cow, Ness, before I started baking. I led her and Duke over to their feeding trough being sure to stuff it full of hay. While she stood there eating I milked her and gave her a brushing as a reward for her good behavior. I had refrigerated her milk from the other day knowing that I needed cold milk for my cookies. "Yeah, who's my good girl?” I pat her sides after I finished milking her and I partially tacked up Duke before I left the barn.   
  
Cooking was never my strong suit but baking was something I excelled at. I had put some thought into which type of cookies I would make while I started making the base dough and I had settled on classic chocolate chip cookies. It only took about an hour to make enough for both villages. I packed my rucksack and finished tacking Duke. Hopping on the grey stallion I made my way up to my first cooking festival. Rumors of a guest judge had passed around town but I had no idea if the rumors were reliable and if so who it could be.   
  
I arrived earlier than everyone else but Rutger and Ina already had the tables set up. The moment I walked into the festival area I saw a familiar, purple-clad, petite man. "Pierre?!" I damn near shouted. He spun around suddenly, a grin plastered on his face.   
  
"Lillian!" I darted towards him, setting my travel container of cookies on the table as I passed by it.   
  
"It's so good to see you again." I gave him one tight squeeze.   
  
"I'm happy to see you too. Is this where you've been hiding this whole time?"   
  
"Yeah." I smiled and pulled away from him. "Why didn't you ask Chelsea where I was?" She and Vaughn were the only ones who knew where I went. Everyone else just knew I left.   
  
"I did but she insisted she didn't know." I knew she would keep her word. Before I left I made her promise not to tell a soul unless she got my okay. "Phil has been so worried about you." My face changed and took one step back towards the Bluebell table.   
  
"Well, tell him I'm fine." I feigned a smile.   
  
"I will." He followed behind me, still talking. "So I see you're entering this cooking festival?" Pierre had an eyebrow raised in suspicion. I set my container of cookies out on the plastic table, removing the lid to make sure none of them broke. Pierre leaned forward inspecting them.   
  
"You can't judge based on sight alone!" I jokingly shoved the small man away. "Don't let our friendship interfere with your judgement, I want an honest competition. Got it?"   
  
"I am a professional above all else." He insisted, tugging on the lapels of his violet jacket as if to make a point. "So how do you like living on your own?" I looked up at him.   
  
"It's really rewarding to run my own farm. I like the freedom too." I broke a small piece off of a cookie and started to nibble on it. "But I miss everyone a lot." I saw the other villagers start to arrive. "If you don't have to leave right away you can come visit my farm for a while." I offered.   
  
"Sadly I cannot, but next time I'm in town I'll visit." I smiled, I wanted to catch up with my old friend but I knew how long the boat ride back was.   
  
"I'd like that."   
  
Howard, Laney and I stood behind one table, our dishes displayed in front of us. Howard brought a stack of cheese croquettes and Laney had a large bowl of risotto. I looked over excitedly at our competition. Yun made a pot of Pho, Dr. Ayame made what looked like golden curry, and Kana had a plate of chocolate covered strawberries . Everything looked delicious and made my cookies look far less impressive.   
  
Pierre started with Bluebell's food. He took a small bite of a croquette taking a moment to enjoy the flavor. "Wonderful texture, a nice and flaky shell." Pierre took another bite, aiming for the filling. “There's a great between the potato and béchamel sauce.” There was a smile in his voice as he nodded in approval. He moved on to Laney, who stood there, confidence radiating off of her. The Gourmet took a large spoonful, examining the appearance and smell before taking a bite. Our judge stood still taking his time to enjoy the flavor. “Almost perfect,” I knew risotto was a finicky dish and difficult to get right. “, it's a little runny but not bad. I like the addition of mushrooms.”

I swallowed nervously when Pierre stepped towards me. I knew Pierre was very picky when it came to food, even for a gourmet. A bite was taken and another pause. "A little burnt on the bottom but i taste something else something. . . warm. Is there nutmeg in here?” I nodded eagerly. “It's a good addition, compliments the chocolate well." He was pleased and that gave me a source of pride. This was my mother's recipe. Every time I made these cookies I remembered making them with her as a child. The golf ball sized pieces of dough always felt so large compared to my tiny hands, but it left the cookies chewy even after they cooled. She had tried teaching me to cook too but I never got the hang of it, burning or undercooking almost everything. A hand reached out and snagged a cookie, dragging me from my thoughts, and making me realize that I'd been spacing out in front of everyone. "This is alright I suppose." Laney said, mouth half full of cookie and clearly unhappy with the gourmet's opinion.  
  
"I have finished judging Bluebell. Now on to Konohana." Pierre announced to the other villagers with a flourish of his hand. I peeked out at the excited crowd, seeing everyone but Cam and Reina. "Excellent!" He complimented Yun. “This must be a southern version of Pho right?”

“Yes!” Yun responded eagerly. “The hoisin sauce is an old family recipe.” I wasn't surprised considering she was a professional chef.

I watched as eat a bit of curry, being sure to get a small sample of rice in his bite. “There's a bit too much tumeric in here, otherwise it has a nice balance of sweetness and heat.” At least it was Kana's turn to be judged. Pierre picked up a larger strawberry and took a large bite out of it. I watched as he struggled to keep a neutral face. "That's . . .” He took a second to find the least offensive way to phrase it. “, not quite ripe yet." Despite his words he finished the rest of the pale pink berry. I restrained myself from smirking. considering Kana could have gotten a lot of fresh fruits from anyone else in Konohana. Pierre took a few steps back, observing all six dishes from a distance. It took a bit of deliberation, or at least fake deliberation, for Pierre to determine a winner. "And the winner is. . ." He glanced between both groups. "Konohana." Their team celebrated. I looked over at my disappointed teammates, unsure as to why it was such a loss. I picked up my large plate of cookies and started to make my way around, offering all but four cookies to my neighbors.  
  
"Mako I have a favor to ask you." The tall brunette looked down at me, displeased with my presence.   
  
"What is it, Bluebell girl?" In that moment it became very apparent that the adults weren't too fond of anyone from the other town, even a newcomer. Eileen had told me about the deep seeded rivalry bit to be faced with it was enough to catch me off guard.   
  
"Well, I made these for everyone and I wanted to make sure Reina got some." His expression softened and took some of the cookies.   
  
"That was very kind of you. I'll make sure she'll get them." The fact that he showed me any kindness made me smile.   
  
"Thank you." I gave a small wave and walked over to Howard and Laney. "Howard I need to ask you a favor."   
  
"What do you need?" Laney asked, her voice holding an undertone of bitterness.   
  
"Well I made these for everyone and since Cam didn't come I wanted to make sure he got some cookies. Could you take these to him when you head home?" I handed the plate with the remaining cookies over to Howard.   
  
"I'll do just that." He smiled. I looked over at Laney to see her frowning.   
  
"Don't you know he doesn't like sweets?" I blinked at her surprised by her sudden outburst I was well aware that she didn't like me but she was never so upfront about it.   
  
"Laney, don't be rude." The large man chastised his daughter. "I'll give them to him, don't worry."   
  
"No, no it's alright." I reached for the plate, but Howard lifted it above his head out of reach. "You don't have to." I objected.   
  
"I insist." I felt his large hand pat my head delicately. I looked up at the large blonde and smiled.   
  
"Thank you Howard." I muttered.   
  
"Lillian." I heard Rutger call. I turned and saw him standing next to Pierre. "I wanted to thank you for participating today, even if we didn't win." He handed me a small packet of seeds. "I brought these to hand out as consolation prizes, just in case we lost." I looked down and examined the packet of pumpkin seeds, the pumpkins on the label had cartoonish smiles on them and it was honestly kind of adorable.   
  
"Thank you sir." I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned to face Pierre. "What's up?"   
  
"You two know each other?" Rutger was clearly surprised. "And yet we still didn't win." The mayor mumbled under his breath.   
  
"I just wanted to say goodbye before I left." I gave my small friend one last hug.   
  
"Tell everyone I miss them." I thought for a second. "And tell Phil I love him." I knew Phil would be hurt if Pierre spoke with everyone but him.   
  
"I will." He grinned. Pierre was among the many islanders that didn't know about the falling out between me and Phil. "I'll see you soon, and you better win next time." He pat me on my back before he walked off.   
  
"I'll try." I laughed and waved him goodbye.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Vanill Orchid: Is where vanilla extract comes from so I thought it was fitting


	13. Purple Hydrangea

It was an exceptionally hot for an early summer afternoon and it had been about a week after the cooking festival. I sat in the large oak tree that grew by the local church, the heat of the summer sun was lessened by the breeze and the shade of the tree. I had been using this method every afternoon to beat the high temperatures of a late afternoon. I rested against the solid trunk and lazily listened to the cicadas chirping, my eyes closed and my left foot swinging back and forth. I couldn't help but think about Ash and how we hadn't spoken in so long. The longest conversation we had was on his birthday and even then that was a while ago.  
  
"Hey loser, why are you asleep up there and not working?" I wasn't sure how long I had been resting in the tree but the moment I heard that melodic voice it brought me out of my tired state. My eyes shot open and I looked over towards the church's steps to see Chelsea standing there grinning. I swung my legs over the side of the low-hanging branch and hopped down. I stumbled slightly on impact but I quickly regained my balance and darted towards her.  
  
"What are you doing here?" I squealed and threw my arms around the brunette, squeezing as tight as I could.  
  
"If you checked your answering machine every now and then you would've heard that I was coming for the sheep festival." She squeezed me tightly in return. "You don't mind, right?"  
  
"Why would I?” A laugh escaped me. “Is Vaughn here too?"  
  
"No he's at home. Someone needs to tend to the animals while I'm away."  
  
"Well that makes sense.” I found the strength to squeeze her tighter, now fully realizing how much I had missed her.  
  
"Please, be careful." She grabbed my arms and tried loosening my grip.  
  
"Oh come on, you've fallen off Andy more times than I can count, I couldn't possibly hurt you." I did release her though, standing up to look at her.  
  
"It's not me I'm worried about." Her face softened her hands fell to her stomach. I arched an eyebrow and eyed her, trying to process the information. Finally it dawned on me.  
  
"What?" I gasped still not believing it. She nodded eagerly and I couldn't help but hug her again. "When the hell did this happen? How the hell did . . . never mind." I didn't want to think about, let alone discuss, the how.  
  
"We found out the last week of March, but I wanted to tell you in person." I felt tears of joy begin to cloud my vision.  
  
"Have you thought about any names?" I knelt down and stared at my friend's stomach in awe.  
  
"Well we were thinking about Jason if it's a boy, and Molly for a girl." She grinned.  
  
"They're perfect names." I cooed. To be fair she could've said any names and I would've called them perfect. "I can't believe I'm going to be an aunt." Chelsea grabbed my hands and hoisted me up.  
  
"Now, I want pancakes with a side of strawberry ice cream, so where's the best place to get food?"  
  
"What about your stuff don't you want to put it away?" She shook her head.  
  
"It's already at town hall with Lana. So food is my main goal." I nodded and led her past Grady's and Jessica's and towards the café.  
  
"So are you bumping uglies with anyone?" She asked the moment we took a seat outside at the café. My face grew hot and I buried my face in my hand.  
  
"Damn it Chels, we're in public." I muttered looking up from beneath my fingers.  
  
"So what? There's no kids around." She snickered. I stared up at her, a pout on my face.  "In all seriousness, are any men in your life?"  
  
"No." I looked up at the clear sky. “I would've told you if there were.”  
  
"You need to get over Will. He's not in your life anymore and he hasn't been for, what, seven months now?"  
  
"Yeah and? You should be happy I even hang out with guys."  
  
"Don't get me wrong, I am." She agreed before pausing for a second. "What about that Ash guy you told me about?" I shook my head.  
  
"I've been avoiding him." I took a sip of my ice water.  
  
"Why?” She whined, tapping her foot on the table leg. “He sounded like a nice guy.”  
  
"He is." I groaned. "But I only see him as a friend."  
  
"You little heartbreaker." Her tone made it obvious that it was a joke but it didn't make me feel any better. I sunk down in my seat and rested my head on the table a snort escaped me.  
  
"You're not helping." I groaned.  
  
"Sorry." She laid her hand on top of mine. "You should talk to him. Patch things up." She suggested. I nodded slowly, knowing full well that she was right.  
  
"What would you like today?" I heard Laney ask in her usual forced kind tone. I didn't bother looking up so I just gestured to Chels, letting her order for me.  
  
"I would like waffles with whipped cream, milk tea, and a small bowl of ice cream if you have it. And my friend would like some coffee." I could hear Chelsea using her sweetest voice, her charm could win almost anyone over.  
  
"Alright, it'll be a little while for everything to be ready."  
  
"That's quite alright miss." I heard Laney walk away and enter the café again. "She's the one you told me about right?" Chels asked.  
  
"Yeah.”

“So what's her deal?”

“I dunno, I think she's mad about the whole Ash thing. Every time I see them in the same place she's always fawning over him."

“Well, if you ask me, I think you should make up with him.” I began to object but she cut me off. “I mean, if you don't want to I'm not going to force ya. But it seems that you miss his friendship, so maybe being honest would be good for you.” I turned my head and looked towards Cam and his stall. I gave him a small wave.

 

* * *

  
  
I stood in the small field, surrounded by my animals. Mindlessly I tended to the sheep, brushing them in preparation for the upcoming festival. Cheryl sat on the fence, humming and waiting for me to finish so we could play. Every now and then she would beg me to go faster.  
  
"Hey there. Can we talk?" I turned my head to see Lillian leaning against the picket fence next to Cheryl.  
  
"Yeah, sure." I said sheepishly. "Cheryl can you go inside?"  
  
"But Ash, we were gonna play." My sister whined,  
  
"We will, just head inside and pick a board game out for us to play." I hoped this suggestion would help buy me some time.  
  
"Alright." She said with a huff. I watched as she clumsily hop down from the fence. I waited until she was out of sight before I spoke.  
  
"So what's up?" I tried to keep my voice calm and steady.  
  
"Listen." She paused for a few seconds. "Not being friends kinda sucks. I don't like not talking to you and I'm sorry that I don't want to go out with you but I just don't see you that way. I know you probably don't want to hear that but that's how it is. So I'm really sorry." Her words ran together, I could tell she didn't really want to talk about this. Quite frankly I didn't either but she was right. Not being friends did suck but it hurt to hear that I was nothing but a friend to her.  
  
"Lillian. It's okay." I lied, but I knew that these feelings were something I probably get over. "It was a crush. I hoped for the best and you shot me down. They're called crushes for a reason." I walked over to her and pat her shoulder. "Friends." She looked up at me with her large blue eyes and smiled.  
  
"You mean it? Everything's okay?" I nodded. It would take some time for things to go back to normal but I knew that if I couldn't be with her I wanted to be friends with her. "Thank you." She wrapped her arms around me in a tight hug.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Purple Hydrangea: friendship


	14. Rosebay Rhododendron

Spending my days with Chelsea made time fly by Each morning I'd meet her outside my home, she would watch me do my chores and kept insisting she could help. I never let her lift a finger, as this was a mini-vacation of sorts. But no matter what I said she would make me food every afternoon.   
  
"So how's Vaughn dealing with the stress of the baby?" I asked the morning of the animal festival. I wasn't entering as I didn't even own a sheep, but I was going to cheer her on.   
  
"As well as one would think. He's constantly worried about me doing anything that isn't watering crops, but it's kind of adorable." She admitted with a grin. "Every morning he talks to my stomach, insisting the baby can hear him."   
  
"I'd pay good money to see Mr. calm-and-collected make a huge fuss over you." I said as I collected the eggs from the chickens' nests.   
  
"It gets less funny with each passing day." She said dryly.   
  
"I can see that." I looked over at my friend. As amusing as it sounded having Vaughn constantly worry over her, it still seemed like it could easily get annoying. "So when are you leaving exactly? Not that I'm kicking you out or anything." The fact that she was gone for almost a week must've been killing Vaughn. He hadn't been away from her for an extended period of time ever since they became engaged, which was over three years ago.   
  
"Shortly after the festival ends." I pouted at this. "I know it sucks, but I don't think Vaughn can last much longer. He's probably worried sick already." She followed behind me as I left the chicken coop, eggs in hand.   
  
"He does call every day." I looked over my shoulder to see her crossing her arms in front of her chest.   
  
"And it hasn't even been a week yet!" She added in an annoyed tone. He was so reserved when he came to the Islands but as soon as he warmed up to Chelsea his personality shifted for the better. “It's not like I'm gonna go base jumping with you.”

“He knows that too.” I hip-checked the door open and made my way to the kitchen. “I can imagine it's a little strange for him.” I set my basket of eggs down on the counter and headed back outside. “You haven't spent more than a week apart and he's got more than you to worry about.” I bent down and picked up my old watering can, set it down under my water pump, and began filling it up. “Based on what I know, and what you've told me, the first three months are scary.” A lot could go wrong and most of it would be outside her control. That was something I didn't dare vocalize, afraid I might jinx things. “I've said it once and I'll say it again, you landed a good one." I said as I lifted up the tarnished can and began I watering my window boxes in a desperate attempt to keep them alive. “As annoying as the calls may be I gotta admit they are really sweet.” Out of the corner of my eye I saw her expression soften and a smile starting to spread across her face, whatever bit of annoyance she felt had faded away.  
  
"I mean, I guess that is _kinda_ cute, when you put it like that." I couldn't help but snort. “And don't worry you'll find someone just as cute.” She reassured, hugging me tightly, making me lose my balance slightly. Large amounts of water spilled out of the can and onto the flowers I was trying to water. "Trust me."   
  
"If you say so." I rolled my eyes at her insistence on getting me a boyfriend. As well intentioned as she was it was starting to get old. “Now c’mon if you don't start packing you'll be late for the competition. 

 -×- 

Up at the mountain top I sat under a tree and I watched everyone walk by with their sheep. Chelsea and her Suffolk, Lana. Ash followed behind her with his sheep, Seth. Bringing up the rear was Georgia with her lamb Cotton. Everyone lined up next to one another as most of the Bluebell villagers watched Rutger begin the judging. I cheered for Chelsea quietly, not wanting to offend my other friends. The mayor inspected every inch of the sheep, looking for any signs of superb care. My job, aside from moral support, was watching Duke to make sure he didn't wanted off with the cart.  
  
"In third place, Cotton the lamb and Georgia." Rutger stepped towards the farmhand and shook her hand. "In second place, Lana and Chelsea." He walked over towards Ash before he spoke again. "And by process of elimination, that means our winner is Ash with Seth. Congratulations." The small crowd cheered, and I politely applauded. "I'd like to thank everyone for attending, and I hope you enjoyed this season's festival. May the participants stick around so I can hand out the prizes." The crowd started to disappear after the mayor finished speaking. Everyone left in the groups they arrived in. Only Cheryl and I stuck around. Georgia received some high-end treats, Chelsea was awarded a small medal, while Ash got some perfume and a trophy. I watched as Cheryl bombarded her brother with hugs, clearly excited that he won.   
  
Chelsea sauntered over to me, leading the sheep by a long leash. "Sorry you didn't win."   
  
"It's all good. I still have this medal to prove that Lana's pretty damn good." She gave me a grin and offered her hand to help me up, I didn't need it but I took it nonetheless. As soon as I was on my feet she hugged me.   
  
"I guess we have to get going, huh?" I asked as rested my head on her shoulder.   
  
"Im afraid so.” She started to lead Lana towards the back of my carriage. I lifted up the heavy sheep and set in the carriage bed, the poor girl was wiggling and bleating uncomfortable with her new situation. As soon as she was in the back and tied down Lana began to settle down, it didn't hurt that Chelsea gave her a treat to keep her calm. “It won't be goodbye for long. You'll be back on the island soon, right?" I nodded slightly, remembering that it was almost midsummer again. The tan woman hoisted herself up on the front seat with ease and pat the empty bench beside her. “Besides we still got an hour ride to the ferry.”   
  
"You're right" I hopped ip and sat beside her, giving her a side hug that was much tighter than this situation called for. I clicked my tongue and Duke started to move down the mountain.

 -×-

When I returned home from seeing Chelsea off, I changed into my pajamas immediately. It was a long day and I was happy to be home. After only a few minutes of being home I heard a knock at my door.   
  
"Come in!" I called from my kitchen. I was in the middle of making toast and tea for myself when I heard the knocking. I looked around the corner to see Cam standing in my doorway. I was surprised by how late he came over especially if you considered the fact that he was a morning person. "What'cha need buddy?" My words were not as coherent as i would have liked them to be but I was struggling to keep in a yawn. Once he fully entered my home I became hyper-aware of the fact that I was wearing nothing but a tank top and cotton shorts.   
  
"I came by to thank you for the cookies and for cleaning my hat." He tugged on the brim of his hat as if to remind me of which cap I had cleaned.   
  
"No problem. I just thought you wouldn't want the wool to stain. And to be fair, I was the one who pulled you down into the mud after all." I laughed a little, leaning against the wall that separated my kitchen from my living-room. "Sorry about my appearance. I, uh, got an early start so I'm a little tired." I tugged at the frayed hem of my teal checkered shorts.   
  
"It's fine." He looked in my direction but still avoided my line of sight.   
  
"I just wish I had known you didn't like sweets." I said quietly.   
  
"That's alright." He shut the door behind him as he walked towards me. "It's the thought that counts, right?" I nodded.

"You want some dinner and or tea?" I offered, disappearing into the other room.  
  
"Uh, sure." He sounded unsure but his footsteps were close behind. I gestured for him to take a seat at my kitchen table, pushing my vase of wildflowers to the side. "I noticed your flower boxes are wilting. If you needed help taking care of them all you had to do was ask."   
  
"I didn't know I could." I threw some pieces of bread in my toaster. "How do you like your tea? It's chai.” I clarified.   
  
"Straight." I poured the two cups of aromatic tea. "You didn't know you could ask me about flowers?" He remarked. I understood how ridiculous that seemed now that I heard it aloud.   
  
"I know, I know, it sounds silly." I laughed slightly and set one of the mugs down in front of him, beside my sugar packets and a quart of milk. I took a seat across from him and assembled my drink makeshift tea latte.   
  
"How do you drink something so sweet?” He asked picking up an empty sugar packet to fiddle with.   
  
"Oh come on, it's not that sweet. I only added two packets." I took a huge sip of my tea and continued speaking. "Tea lattes are delicious and if you don't believe me I'll have to make you one sometime. . . sugar free of course."   
  
"I might take you up on that." He said as he took his mug. It was nice, sitting quietly with Cam. I didn't mind that I was in an old white tank-top and ratty shorts. Ever since that muddy night we had been much more comfortable around one another. He had started to come out of his shell more and more; and I liked that. "How'd you know my favorite flower?"   
  
"Huh?" I looked up from my drink, surprised by the sudden topic change. "What do you mean?"   
  
"My hat. You made it smell like heather."   
  
"I thought it was lavender, wasn't it?" I scrunched my eyebrows together.   
  
"Same thing." He corrected me quickly. "But how did you know?"   
  
"I always see tons of it by your store so I thought you'd like it." I shrugged. I heard that 'pop' of the toast flying up and stood. "Food's done."   
  
"Thank you." I smiled at him, knowing full well that my food barely counted as a meal. "You know, if you want something other than wildflowers I can make you a bouquet any time you'd like."   
  
"That sounds wonderful." A rush of heat began to warm my ears. "Want any blueberry jam?"   
  
"Jam?" I realized that this was the first time he was witness to my lack of culinary skills.   
  
"Yeah. For the toast." He eyed me for a moment clearly confused as to why toast was my dinner.   
  
"No thank you." I shook my head. Like Laney said, sweets weren't for him.

“To sweet right?” I asked rhetorically. _It's not like we didn't talk about it five minutes ago._ I mentally chastised myself. I pulled the hot slices out of the toaster and stacked them on a large plate. I took one of my few knives and the last of my butter and brought everything to the table. He carefully grabbed the top piece of hot toast and started to butter it.   
  
"Sorry about my unimpressive meal. I know it's difficult to tell but I can't cook all that well." I felt the need to explain seeing as he was always around Howard and Laney's cooking.   
  
"I always wondered why you ate so many meals at the café." He took a small bite out of the corner of the bread, crumbs falling onto the dingy white table cloth.   
  
"That's part of it.” I nodded. “I mean, Howard's food is delicious, so it's hard offer to pass it up."   
  
"How would you survive if he wasn't here?" Cam teased.   
  
"I do just fine with toast and runny eggs thank you." Childishly I stuck my tongue out, which made him chuckle. "So aside from criticizing my lifestyle choices what brings you by?" Clearly this jogged his memory. He was about to speak when I heard someone pounding at my door. "Who on earth?" I muttered as I walked to the other room. I heard the chair scrape against the wood floor and Cam follow behind me. "Who is it?" I opened my front door to see an unwanted face. "Oh fuck me." I hissed as I looked up at my ex-fiancée standing in my doorway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rosebay Rhododendron: Danger, Beware


	15. Hemlock

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick word of warning regarding this and the next two chapters: it deals a lot with physical and mental abuse. It may not be well written but it could still trigger someone.

"What the hell do you think you're doing here?" I looked up at the tall blonde standing in my doorway seething with utter hatred.  
  
"What are _you_ doing here?" He echoed, looking down at me in more than one way. All I had to do was see Will and my blood began to boil.   
  
"I live here." I said, trying my hardest to keep my voice strong.   
  
"Why?" He sneered. "Wait," He paused briefly, holding up his right hand. ", I don't care. I just came here to take you home." He'd always been one for the dramatics and just the way his voice carried no hint of emotion got under my skin. Just as I began to reach for the metal of the doorknob he leaned against my door frame, putting all his weight on it so he could prevent me from shutting it in his face.   
  
"I can leave if you want." Cam's voice caught me off guard. Of course he was feeling uncomfortable, anyone would right now.   
  
"No!" I demanded, looking over my shoulder as quickly as possible. "You stay," My voice was more desperate than I would have liked. ", he's the one that needs to leave. " I turned back to the asshole that blocking my door. "You can't take me back to the Islands Will, I'm not your property." Will looked behind me at Cam and strolled in my home, shoving  me to the side with ease.   
  
"Who the hell is this? We're still together and yet you're sleeping with other men? How disgraceful." My cheeks burned redhot with anger and embarrassment. I couldn't see it but I knew that made Cam feel more uncomfortable than he already did.   
  
"My life isn't any of your business.” My hand reached out to grab the sleeve of his jacket. “Just as an FYI, we've been over since I found out you were using me.” I felt the familiar sting in my eyes. I hated crying around Will, knowing that he'd gotten to me would only give him some twisted form of confidence.   
  
"I never agreed to that, according to the arrangement, you're still mine." I quickly circled around to put myself between him and Cam before I put all the force I could behind pushing him out of my home. Despite never doing any manual labor he was still stronger than I was so I only managed to knock him back a few steps. I could see a vein start to bulge in his forehead, I could tell he was actually angry now. "Although I think I'll need more persuading. I don't want to take damaged goods, it's not good for appearances." He gripped my face tightly, digging his fingers into my cheeks, and leaned forward so we were face to face. With him this close I could smell the alcohol on his breath.   
  
"You're just a privileged playboy who wants daddy's money." I was tempted to spit in his face but I knew it wasn't the best idea to escalate things like that. "My life isn't something you own. Now go home." I demanded.   
  
"Not without you." He released my face and stepped even closer, trying to intimidate me with his height alone. He didn't look as strong as he was but I'd seen him beat down one of the strongest men on the Islands before in a drunken rage. I had hoped that months of farm work had made me stronger than him and I could have kicked him out, but I knew that was no longer an option. Will grabbed at my wrist with vice like strength.   
  
"I wouldn't suggest doing that." Cam said, who was now directly behind me and I flinched at his sudden proximity, not realizing he had moved closer.   
  
"And what are you going to do?" His face started to grow red and his left eyebrow began twitching. I watched in fear as he stood more upright and puffed out his chest in a show of dominance. This was too similar to a situation I had been in before and I was afraid, it didn't matter that I had someone here this time. I could feel my heart pounding against my ribs, like it was trying to escape me altogether. My thoughts were an incoherent mess, I could feel my head spin and my breathing was shallow. As if all that wasn't bad enough a wave of nausea hit me.   
  
"Whatever need be." Cam said calmly and rest a hand on my shoulder. I felt Will brace my wrist tighter than before. I stepped back to try and gain distance from Will and find security in the florist.   
  
"Come on, whore." The last word oozed with disgust as he jerked me forward and twisted my arm as hard as he could. I planted my feet firmly on the ground and resisted his pull but that sent waves of pain up my arm.   
  
I didn't know what exactly happened but next thing I knew I was leaning on the wall, safely behind Cam, and Will was on the floor. My wrist sent shooting pains up my arm. I watched as Will held his nose, blood leaking out from behind his hand. "This isn't over." He hissed as he ran off with his tail between his legs. It was amazing to see someone stand up to Will for once. He easily became a bully on the islands since his family owned almost everything. But in Bluebell? He had no power here. Here he was just a spoiled rich boy with an alcohol problem.   
  
"That's where you're wrong." Cam muttered as he watched Will vanish in the night. He slammed the door and locked it before turning his attention to me.   
  
"Lillian, you alright?" His expression immediately softened and his voice was comforting.   
  
"I umm. . . er uh." I couldn't think of any words to describe what i was feeling so only gibberish came out. My entire body froze when he placed his hand under my chin and gently turned my face side to side.   
  
"You shouldn't bruise." I just looked into his green eyes. For once he made physical contact without seeming uncomfortable and looked at me directly. He was worried about me and that seemed like enough to overpower his normal awkwardness. It was so unusual to see him act like this.   
  
"W-what about you?" For a minute he ignored my question, and began to guide me to my couch. “Are you alright?” He didn't acknowledge my question until I was seated.   
  
"My hand hurts a little but I'm fine." He handed me the box of tissues that I usually kept on my coffee table. Hot tears ran down my cheeks and I reached out with my right hand wanting to bury my shame in the tissues. But when I bent my wrist to grab the purple cardboard I felt the pain radiate through my arm. "You okay?"   
  
"Yeah, I guess. I mean, my wrist hurts."   
  
"I didn't think he'd do that." Carefully he lifted my hand to inspect my wrist, rotating my arm slowly. "It doesn't look broken, but it might be sprained.” He lowered my arm just as gently as he'd lifted it.”I'd have Ayame look at it in the morning." I nodded weakly.   
  
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean for him to-" I couldn't finish my sentence before breaking down into sobs.   
  
"It's not your fault." He said sternly before falling quiet for a minute. "Do you have any elastic bandages?"   
  
"B-bathroom, in the medicine cabinet." With my good hand I pointed upstairs before I wiped my eyes. Silently he left my side to retrieve the bandages. I just sat there hunching over in a ball and let my ugly tears flow. Within a minute I heard Cam descend the stairs, a roll of bandages in hand. I never organized my cabinets so it was a little surprising he found them as quickly as he did. When he returned he knelt down on the floor in front of me, taking my hand again. I hissed when he started to tightly wrap my wrist up.   
  
"It's going to hurt, but being able to move it won't do you any good." He was right, moving it around too much would risk injuring it more.   
  
"Right." I took a few deep breaths, trying to relax myself. For several moments the only thing I could hear was Luna attacking a shoelace behind me.   
  
"Listen." He said trying to break the silence. "You need to relax and eat a real dinner." I looked up confused for a moment, then I remembered the meal Will had interrupted. "How about I make you something more substantial than toast?” Despite sounding like a question it clearly wasn't.   
  
"You really don't have to." I sniffed. “All you wanted to do was thank me and-” I took a deep breath in an attempt to fight back more tears. “And you got dragged into all this.” How could I not feel bad after everything that had happened?

“You can't blame yourself for this.” For a split second his calm facade started to crumble and his voice sounded almost pained.

“But I. . .” My sentence trailed off not knowing what else I could say.  
  
"Now go take a hot shower and relax." He helped me up and led me to the stairs. I nodded and did as he asked, no longer having the energy to object.

-×-

 I descended the stairs, now wearing pajamas that weren't so revealing, to see Cam setting the table, his hair tied up in a stubby ponytail. On the table was the dishes he'd prepared; curry rice and some soup I had never seen before. "How did you make all this?" I knew all I had in my house for cooking ingredients were eggs, bread, rice, milk, and wine. Hardly enough to made this aromatic meal.  
  
"I called Howard and asked I could borrow some ingredients." I could smell the delicious food and I was honestly a little speechless. “He dropped them off while you were showering.”

"I didn't know you could cook." He let out a warm chuckle.

"I live with Laney and Howard, I kinda picked it up over the years." He wiped his hands on a dishtowel that he had flung over his shoulder. "Although Howard was more than curious as to why I was cooking for you." For a split second a look of annoyance crossed his face.  
  
"How long was I upstairs?" I asked, taking a seat at the table. He looked over his shoulder at the small clock that was built into my oven.   
  
"A little under two hours." A pang of guilt hit me, I felt bad leaving him alone for so long.   
  
"I'm sorry." I mumbled, looking down at the plate before me. "I didn't know it'd been so long.” I pushed my long still damp hair back over my shoulder before looked up at Cam.   
  
"It's no issue." He said giving me that charming smile I'd seen so many times before.   
  
"So what's this?" I pointed at the soup.   
  
"It's only the best soup ever." I arched an eyebrow. Talk about tooting your own horn.   
  
"That's a bit of a bold statement, isn't it?" I smirked. He shook his head.   
  
"I'm not talking about mine in particular, but it's Tom Yum Goong and its delicious, trust me."   
  
"I'll take your word for it." I smiled, a little excited to try it. "Thank you."   
  
"Again, it's not a problem, you needed to eat more than toast and eggs." He had settled back into using his default calm tone.   
  
"I didn't mean the cooking, although thanks for that too, I was talking about standing up for me."   
  
"It was nothing." I wasn't sure if I was imagining it or not but I noticed the faintest hint of pink creep upon his face.   
  
"No. It wasn't nothing." I countered as he sat down next to me at the table. "It means a lot to me." I leaned over and hugged him. That familiar rigid posture returned the second I touched him. “Thank you.” I quickly released the poor man and tried a small spoonful of the soup. He was right, it was honestly pretty tasty. After a few seconds he spoke again.   
  
"How did he find you?" This question surprised me. I hadn't put too much thought into it before. Chelsea had just left and either way she wouldn't have said anything.   
  
"That's something I've been wondering myself." I thought about it more as I ate one of the rice balls. "These are good. You should enter them in a cooking festival." I looked down at the curry filled rice, pondering his question.   
  
"Thank you." He said in between mouthfuls of soup.   
  
"God damn it." I cursed as the realization hit me.   
  
"What?" He gave me a worried look. "What's wrong?"   
  
"Pierre." I growled.   
  
"The guy who judges the cooking festivals?" He asked, clearly confused by my sudden outburst.   
  
"Pierre, he lives on the islands," I spoke quickly as the thoughts came to me. ", and when I saw him at the festival I told him to say hello to everyone. I guess in his mind that also included Will." I grew frustrated and embarrassed, it really was my fault. "I thought he knew better." Then again I was never upfront about the toxic nature of my relationship and Pierre wasn't known for understanding subtlety. Cam stared at me concerned. I looked over and pat his shoulder. "I'm fine." I assured him with a lie. I stood up and moved to a small cabinet that lived above my fridge, pulling out a decent sized bottle of red wine, and pouring myself the largest glass I could.   
  
"Listen." His voice was uneven when he spoke."I don't think you should be alone tonight. Will may return and it's unsafe for you to be alone." I turned to him surprised by his forwardness.   
  
"Are you asking to spend the night with me?" His face became a dark red which only made me laugh. "What a bold move." I teased, as he shifted uncomfortably in the wooden chair.   
  
"N-no it's not like that." He insisted quickly raising his hands in self defense.   
  
"Relax. I know what you mean." I smiled. "I was just trying to lighten the mood."   
  
"Right." He let out a nervous laugh. "I am worried about your safety though, I don't think you should be alone." His face had faded to a pink at this point.   
  
"Yeah sure." I downed half of my wine as fast as my body would let me. "You can take the bed." I glanced at him, awaiting his reaction. He began to shake his head slightly, clearly dissatisfied with my decision. "Object all you want but I'm not going to let my knight in shining armor sleep on the couch. I can take it." The heavy wine bottle hit the rim of the mug as I refilled it, not ready to fully deal with everything that had happened tonight.   
  
"I'm fine with the couch." I shook my head.   
  
"Oh no, that's not gonna happen." I insisted. "You want some?" I nodded at the half empty bottle.   
  
"I'm good." He insisted.   
  
"If you say so." I took another long sip refilling the cup and sat back down, eating everything he made. Once the food hit my stomach my body let me know how hungry I really was. I went so far as to take seconds of everything, except for the soup, I left the rest for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hemlock: a toxic plant symbolizing death and poison


	16. Birdsfoot Treefoil

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again another melodramatic scene that deals with physical and emotional abuse. The scene with physical violence happens after the page break. So if you are triggered by this stuff please skip the second half of this chapter. I don't want to cause anyone to have an anxiety attack.

"There's a clean set of pajamas in the bathroom. Change into them." Doubt was plastered all over my face.   
  
"You're a foot shorter than me and a lot smaller, you seriously think I'll fit?" I couldn't resist arching an eyebrow. Despite her obvious physical strength she was thinly built.   
  
"Yes I do. They're really big on me so I don't wear them." I rolled my eyes and started to ascend the stairs. I walked into the bathroom that was surprisingly large for a farmhouse. Resting on the toilet seat was a pair of men's sweatpants and a black t-shirt.   
  
"Do I want to know why you have these?" I called down to her as I removed my clothes except for my boxers.   
  
"What a girl can't enjoy the comfortable fit of men's baggy clothing?" I looked down, relieved that she was right, everything fit. It was even a little loose on me. "What can I say, a nightgown always ends up bunched up around my ribs when I try and sleep." Images of her athletic body stretched out. I cut my train of thought there, disgusted and ashamed of imagining her like that.  _ And after everything that happened too _ . I mentally chastised myself. Aaand, I may or may not have purchased the wrong size and forgot to return them.” That was clearly the real reason for owning these. Her voice sounded much louder than it was before. I grabbed my wad of dirty clothes and headed back downstairs. I looked around but Lillian was nowhere to be seen. "I'll be right back down, I have to make the bed." She called from upstairs.

“With one good hand?” What was she, nuts? I turned to walk back up the stairs before she called down.

“I'm just fixing the sheets, it's no big deal.” The bottom step creaked as I put my weight on it. “Go relax.” Lillian assured me.   
  
I did as I was told and walked around her living room. This was the first time I'd really seen it. Pale sage walls complemented the dark wood floors which in turn helped the grey furniture stand out more. Luna skid across the floor beside me as she chased a toy mouse around, barely missing the edge of the bookcase. I moved over towards her, kicking the pink mouse into the kitchen. I looked over at the shelves beside me eyeing the books, movies, and photo albums she had decorating it. A few framed photos dotted her shelves. One was of her and her friend from earlier in the week. The two standing side by side in front of a school. Another was placed on the top shelf and seemed to be much older, there she was on the shoulders of her and her older brother. They looked so similar, and happy to be around one another. The age difference was obvious, he was at least ten years older. Next to that was another photograph that didn't fit into the frame properly, the edges had become frayed. This one was of a man and a woman, who I assumed were her parents, with a young boy and a newborn baby.   
  
I moved down to the bottom shelf to see stacks and stacks of movies. There were B-movies, thrillers, sci-fi, a large amount of comedies and some horror movies. The majority of them were animated. I skimmed the titles and pulled out one that looked interesting and popping it on the television. It felt so weird sitting in Lillian's house in nothing but my, no, her pajamas.   
  
I watched the screen for a while and saw some teenagers getting hacked to bits by a man with a machete. Suddenly a mug blocked my view of the screen, and all I heard was a loud  _ schunk _ . "You made me miss the final blow." She made a dismissive noise.   
  
"There's so much more it's not even funny." I took the mug from her hands and peeked inside. More of the red wine she was drinking earlier. She leaned forward with the remote and turned the volume up.   
  
"So what's with the alcohol?" I asked. As she reached for the blanket the bottom of her tank top rode up and I quickly I looked back at the screen.Being in her house, at night, alone, felt like a betrayal of Ash. I pushed the thought out of my mind. It didn't matter, she was just a friend who needed help, nothing more.

"It was here when I moved in, if I didn't know any better I would think this farm belonged to a moonshiner." Out of the corner of my eye I saw she started to cocoon herself in the blanket. Still I kept my eyes glued to the television afraid that looking at her would somehow come across as creepy. When the slasher film ended Lillian put on some animated movie with a unicorn and a wizard that was a little hard to follow but the visuals were nice. It was around one a.m. when that movie ended and Lillian had fallen asleep about half-way through it.

I stood up quietly and shut off the television. Luna woke up and made her way upstairs. Before heading to bed I shifted her so she was no longer hunched over the arm of the couch and covered her with the fleece blanket. I made my way upstairs knowing that Lillian would be mad if I slept on the floor. So I laid down in her large bed, basking in the moonlight and the scent of the lavender she kept on her bedside table. Luna was at the foot of the bed, where I assume she slept every night. It didn't take long for me to slip into unconsciousness.   
  
I woke up to the sound of Lillian's alarm at five a.m. I was still tired but I was happy the rest of the night went by without any complications. Quickly I got dressed in my old clothes and went downstairs, I saw that Lillian was still asleep on the couch. I thought for a moment but decided to not wake her up yet, she needed sleep after the night she had. I made my way over to the bookshelf again and looked for something to read. I settled on a book by the same name of The Final Unicorn, the same name as one of the movies we watched last night. I hadn't heard of it before but apparently it was one of her favorites and she insisted I see it last night. Far be it from me to object. I took a seat at the kitchen table and the morning sun peeking through the curtains which give me just enough light to comfortably read.   


 

* * *

 

The overpowering aroma of cooking eggs and coffee made my stomach growl which in turn woke me up. My eyelids fluttered open and I sat up, swinging my legs over the edge of the couch and made my way to the kitchen. I leaned against the door frame looking at Cam. He was dressed but his hair was a mess, sticking out every-which-way. "Morning." I muttered, running my injured hand through the ends of my hair.

  
"Good morning." He greeted. "I just wanted to make sure you ate something before I left." He gestured with the spatula. I pushed myself off the wall and made my way to the table.   
  
"Thanks." I smiled politely.   
  
"Here, dark roast." Cam set a cat shaped mug down in front of me. I grabbed the cup by its tail and struggled to keep it stable with my non-dominant hand.   
  
"Thanks." I repeated after I finished half of the coffee, setting it back down on the table with a thud.   
  
"How are you feeling?" I moved my wrist as much as I could, which wasn't much, it still hurt but it didn't hurt anywhere near as much as it did last night.   
  
"It's better." I bent my wrist slightly to prove my point. He shoved a very full plate of scrambled eggs and toast in front of me.   
  
"No I meant, feelings, how are they?" I couldn't help but giggle a little at the odd phrasing.   
  
"Oh. . . yeah. I guess my feelings are as good as they can be all things considered." I scooped a small mouthful of eggs onto my fork and ate it eagerly.   
  
"That's good to hear." He took a seat across from me.   
  
"Don't you want some too?" I started to push the plate across the table not thinking about the fact that he would've made himself some if he wanted.   
  
"Nah. I can eat when I get home." He said shaking his head.   
  
"When are you leaving?"   
  
"Dunno." He shrugged. "Whenever Ash gets here for his shift."   
  
"Ash has a shift? As in babysitting me?" I asked incredulously. It was a sweet that they wanted to make sure I was alright, but at the same time I was an adult and could be alone.   
  
"Well I just thought, you know, you wouldn't want to be alone." He looked down at the empty table beneath him.   
  
"Well thank you.” I didn't want to be a jerk about them making sure I was okay. “What time will he be here?"   
  
"Sometime this afternoon."   
  
"What about your work?"   
  
"I can open the shop late today. It won't be a big deal."   
  
"Isn't it flower day?” I looked over at my wall calendar for confirmation and sure enough I had drawn a small flower on today's square. “Won't people need to like, get flowers?"   
  
“I uh. . ." He bit his lower lip again. “Shit.” Cam quietly cussed.   
  
"Go to work. It's your busiest day of the season." I'd feel terrible if he'd missed work today just because of me.   
  
"Are you sure?"   
  
"Yeah. It'll be fine." I insisted.   
  
"You sure you're sure?" I nodded happily. My eyes darted to the clock on the oven, checking to make sure he wasn't already late.   
  
"I'm one hundred percent sure." I promised. "It's seven thirty, if you're going to look even semi-presentable today you should leave now."   
  
He hesitated for a moment. "Alright." I looked up at him with a tired smile. "Alright I'll just have Ash come over around noon then." I nodded slowly, still frustrated that I needed a sitter. I stood and walked to the doorway, watching him leave my home, book in hand. "Bye, Lillian." Another charming smile flashed my way, which only made my smile widen.   
  
"Bye Cam, and thank you.." I waved to him before he shut the door.   
  
Shortly after Cam left I got dressed in my usual shorts and a tank-top, and headed outside to brush Ness. She wasn't too happy that I left her in the barn so long without food. I pushed the stubborn girl out to the pasture slowly but surely. I watched and made sure she was done eating before I started to brush her coat. I felt a sudden force shove me face first against the outside of the barn. Splinters of wood dug into my face as a hand pressed on the back of my head more and more. I didn't need to look to know who it was.   
  
"Well. Look who's all alone now." The way he gloated made him sound like a villain from a television show. I fought to turn my head under his grip but it was too much.   
  
"Will, please, stop." I begged and tried to break free, pushing myself away from the wall with both hands. After a few centimeters I felt his knee dig into my back. The bone of his kneecap dug into my spine and the surrounding muscle. I looked up at his bruised and furious face.   
  
"Listen you've had your fun whoring around but it's time to come home." He grabbed my hair with his right hand and dragged me away from the barn. It was then that I got a good look at him, his clothes were covered in dirt and grass stains, like he'd camped out all night. From under my bangs I caught a glimpse of his face, nose bruised and swollen after last night. I pulled my head back in an attempt to break away bit the more I resisted the tighter he pulled at my hair. Tears started to fall down my face as I felt chunks of hair refusing to leave my scalp.

  
"Help!" I cried out in a futile attempt to get someone's attention. Will yanked at my hair again and I stumbled forward.   
  
"Shut your fucking mouth." He hissed, jerking my head up just so he could look me in the eyes. Suddenly his hand his my face and my cheek stung, I bent forward again burying my face in my hand and avoiding all eye contact with the hope that my compliance would make this stop.  I wasn't sure why he was acting more cruel than usual. I could only assume it was drunken revenge for last night.   
  
"Please stop!" I cried again, praying to the Goddess for protection. My head was jerked back up so we were face to face again. I couldn't look away from his shark-like eyes, even when I heard metal scrape against metal. I felt cold blade pressed against my neck. Pain ran through my neck as the edge of blade sliced at my fragile skin.   
  
"Don't. Speak. Again." He threatened, voice as cold as his knife. Without saying another word he lifted up the bloody switchblade to underline his threat. In a moment of pure desperation I kicked him in the groin as hard as I could. The blonde dropped the knife and went to shield himself from another blow. I pulled my head back and hoped he would have loosened his grip enough to get it free, that wasn't the case. I followed him down as he fell to his knees and I quickly started groping for the knife, keeping my eyes on his hands the whole time. I felt the textured hilt beneath my fingers and grabbed it. I ignored the searing pain in my wrist and cut the hair that was in his grasp. Once I knew I was free, I dropped the knife and ran as fast as I possibly could towards town. My heart raced, I could hear Will yelling for me in the distance. I ran straight past Grady's and Jessica's and up towards town hall. I prayed that Will was foolish enough to follow me into town

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Birdsfoot Treefoil: Revenge


	17. Coltsfoot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everything written before the line break has depictions of medical stuff including blood and stitches. The rest only has vage mentions of the injury and becomes a police procedural.

I burst in the front door, to see Rose and Rutger staring at me mouths agape in shock. "Help." I choked out through my tears. Rose, Rutger's wife of forty years, ran towards me and helped me sit down on an upholstered bench. She took out a small handkerchief and applied pressure to my neck. I didn't have to say anything more as Rutger was already on the phone with Ayame.  
  
"Dear, what happened to you?" Her delicate features showed nothing but concern. I took a few deep breaths and quickly explained the events of this morning as best I could. This didn't seem like the time to go into great detail about my history with Will and his 'arrangement' with my brother.

“Ayame will be here as fast as she can.” Rutger announced as he hung up. “Go have her lay down.” He said picking the phone right back up. Rose nodded and lead me down the left corridor and into the first room.

“Just sit right here.” The old woman gestured to a gaudily upholstered armchair. I stood there for a moment looking at the floral chair and opted to sit on the bed. As I stared at the dark wood of the tea table I couldn't stop my mind from wandering. Despite how awful I felt a new-found strength inside of me and knew for certain that Will no longer had any control over me.

The next face I saw was Dr. Ayame. She immediately came over to me and started an examination. Wordlessly she lifted the handkerchief up from my neck and examined the gash on my neck. With a gloved hand she gently touched the surrounding skin, cheng the depth of the wound.

"It's not that deep.” She thought aloud. There was a second of silent contemplation before she spoke again. “Lillian I need to stitch this up." A groan escaped me as a knot formed in the pit of my stomach. "It's in a poor location so you might reopen the wound and I don't want to risk infection." I nodded slowly and felt my skin pull away from itself and I understood her reasoning. "Unfortunately, I don't have a fast acting numbing agent with me so this won't be pleasant." I resisted the urge to cry again. “Hold this.” Ayame commanded as she pressed a cloth to the left side of my neck. I did as she said, holding it while she prepped another square of gauze. Despite not being a fast acting anesthetic I could feel the faint soothing effect of the lidocaine start to cut through the searing pain, but three minutes wasn't enough to completely numb me. The overwhelming scent of antiseptic burned in my nose causing my eyes to water. Ayame brought her hand back up, quickly swapping the numbing agent with the disinfectant. The muscles in my neck and shoulders froze the moment the damp fabric touched my cut. My jaw clenched and my teeth ground against one another.  
  
Ayame’s strong hand pressed against my shoulder and forced me to lay down on the bed. “Here bite down.” The doctor handed me a clean washcloth and I looked at her in horror. I normally wasn't a wuss when it came to pain but I was rightfully terrified. “It'll be over before you know it.” Despite her clinical tone she looked sympathetic with a reassuring smile.

“I wanna lose more blood.” I mumbled, barely able to form the sentence in my dizzy state. Her eyes softened and she flashed another smile. "Alright." Unfortunately I didn't have much of a choice and shoved the washcloth in my mouth.

I could feel the needle piercing through my flesh, tearing at the sensitive skin. As if that wasn't bad enough I could feel the scraping of the thread, each microscopic bit of fiber burned.  Even though the cut on my neck stung like in a way I wasn't expecting, each and every stitch just made the pain exponentially worse. Each and every tug at my skin made me wish for death. I couldn't tell if I wanted to pass out or vomit more. Thankfully it was less than ten stitches in total and Dr. Ayame had a fast hand.  
  
"Done." Her voice barely cut through the loud ringing in my ears. "I need you to keep it clean and change the bandages every day, alright?" I groaned in agreement. A gooey bandage was placed over the fresh stitches and I hoped it was more lidocaine. “You did really well.” Ayame gently patting my shoulder was the last thing I felt before I passed out.

-×- 

A few gentle nudges were enough to wake me. “Wha?” I struggled to open my heavy lids, the bright light of the room made me groan. Memories of earlier helped wake me from my haze. “How long was I out?” The words escaped my mouth quietly as my head was still spinning wildly. I groaned and raised a hand to touch the very edge of the medical tape that covered my neck.

“A few hours.” Said Rose, her small voice barely caught my attention. I began to sit up and the woman's hand helped to stabilize me. “Lillian. Officer Harris needs you to I.D. the gentleman."

“Be there in a sec.” I took a few deep breaths before I stood. My legs felt like jelly and I struggled to support my own weight.  
  
"Alright dearie.” I stood there for five minutes until I knew I wasn't going to pass out again. I shuffled my way to the hallway and towards the reception area. A uniformed policeman stood at attention, a small brown briefcase was placed on the desk behind him. And there, handcuffed to a chair and stuffed in the corner of the room, was a displeased Will.  
  
"So ma'am is this him?" The middle aged police officer asked.  
  
"Yes that's him for sure." Will shot daggers at me, pissed that I turned him in.  
  
"She assaulted me, I was merely trying to take her home to her brother." Will interjected. Harris turned towards me his eyebrows had disappeared behind the brim of his cap.  
  
"Is he telling the truth?" The officer pulled out a pen and notepad from his uniform pocket scrawling notes down in a fast pace.  
  
"I mean, yeah.” I sighed as the cops eyes narrowed. “I didn't really have a choice I needed to get away." I grabbed the roots of my hair with my good hand and I showed his the chunk that was shorter than the rest. “My life was in danger.” I scanned the room to see that Ayame was still there, sitting quietly on the corner and calmly observing the situation. I lifted my chin slightly and pointed to my bandaged neck, as if it was easy to overlook. "I'm sure Dr. Ayame can verify that this was caused by a knife."  
  
"Doctor?" Harris took his hat off and ran a hand through his brown hair before placing it back on his head.  
  
“Based on my experience a wound like that only comes from a blade." Ayame leaned forward in her chair, resting her elbows on her knees, and locked eyes with the cop. “The injury had clean edges so it was definitely a smooth blade.” The doctor turned her attention towards Will her gaze dark.  
  
"Alright." Harris chose to ignore her ominous gaze and returned to his diligent note taking. I wasn't sure his this was how your typical investigation took place since since our local sheriff never did more than give a verbal warning.  "I'm going to need a full account of everything that happened if you'd like to press charges."  
  
"I'm alright with that." So I explained, in great detail, the events of this morning and some of last night. To prevent Cam from getting in trouble I left his name out of it. It wasn't lying per say since I mentioned kicking will out of my home last night, but I did avoid mentioning Cam. Unfortunately that didn't stop Will from bringing him up.  
  
"I would like to press charges too." Will snapped, cutting the officer off mid sentence. "The other night. I was assaulted by a man in a purple hat. He punched me." He pointed to his face with his unrestrained hand. Rutger raised an eyebrow, knowing exactly who he was referring to.  
  
"Officer." I said calmly, thinking on my toes. "May I please speak with him alone for a moment?" I gave Harris my most charming smile, which didn't look all that charming given my disheveled appearance.  
  
"Are you sure?" He was skeptical, clearly worried about my safety, but I nodded.  
  
"Positive."  
  
"If you insist." He tipped his cap before leading Rose, Ayame and Rutger into the room where I got my stitches. The moment I saw the door shut I turned to Will.  
  
"What do you want?" I asked in a harsh tone.  
  
"I want the charges dropped." He glared back at me, trying to intimidate me. At one point that would've worked but I was pissed.  
  
"Why, are you walking on thin ice with daddy?" I mocked. He didn't answer. "If I drop them you gotta drop yours too and promise to never, ever, come back here again." I leaned over him, knowing full well that he still had one free hand that I watched carefully.  
  
"And why should I do that?"  
  
"Because your charges are a hundred times worse than a punch to the face." I tried to sound nonchalant about it, giving my voice that same smugness that his had last night. "And if you do return, I swear to the goddess I will call Harris back and do you _really_ think that he'll believe your innocent?” I raised my right eyebrow and gave a smirk that matched my tone. Will sat there silently, keeping a poker face the whole time. "You know that if I let the charges go through daddy can't bail you out. You'll lose your precious inheritance in a second. Do you understand me shit-head?" I spat. I watched as an array of emotions colored his face; frustration, anger, doubt, contemplation, and finally defeat.

"Fine. I'll drop the charges." He muttered.  
  
"And?" I demanded, my eyes narrowing as I stared him down.  
  
"And I won't come back here for the rest of my days." I looked down at the pathetic man before me, surprised that I felt any form of affection towards him. "I swear on my life."  
  
"You damn well better keep that promise." I walked towards the guest room, knocking twice before speaking. "Harris, Will and I have something to tell you." The police officer burst forth from the room. "Tell him Will." I casually leaned against the wall, watching the scene unfold.  
  
"I'm dropping the charges against the man in purple." The blonde grumbled, defeated.  
  
"Alright." Harris responded, clearly confused by the turn of events.  
  
"I'd like to drop my charges as well." I thought for a second and added. "But if there's any way I could get a restraining order I'd like to do so. I don't want him within at least five-hundred feet of me."  
  
"A-are you sure?" Rose gasped.  
  
"I am." I smiled. I believes that Will would do anything to keep his money but I still wanted to get some extra insurance, just in case Will ever wanted to press his luck. "Alright. Then I'll need you to fill out some paperwork first and I'll need a copy of your medical report Doctor.”

“Of course.”

“Miss Lillian, it may take a few days but there's not doubt in my mind that a judge will approve of your request." Harris nodded and led me to the other room with his briefcase in hand.  
  
Seventeen signatures later I was free from that ordeal. I watched Harris escort Will out of town and to what I could only assume was the Sunshine Islands. I looked over at Rutger and smiled.  
  
"Thank you for your kindness today."  
  
"No thanks required. I'd do anything to help my villagers." Beneath his bushy white mustache I could see a kind smile. "So why did that young man mention Cam?"  
  
I looked away not wanting to go into detail. "No reason." He chuckled warmly.  
  
"Dearie, do you need to rest at all you still look exhausted?" Rose was probably right, a two hour nap wasn't enough, but I was too stressed to sleep right now. I ran my good hand through my choppy hair and let out a deep sigh.  
  
"I think I need to fix this mess before I do anything else. Plus, I need to care for my animals." I smiled at the old woman. "Like Jessica says, a farmer doesn't get a day off." She started to object. "Trust me, I'll be fine."  
  
"Well. . . alright dear. Just be sure to come to us if you need any help whatsoever."  
  
"I will Rose." I hugged her and Rutger before walking away towards Grady's ranch. I was careful to keep a slow pace, knowing I could easily exhaust myself. "Georgia!" I called to the stable-girl once I was close enough to the ranch. She turned to look at me, mortified by my appearance.  
  
"Tarnation, what on earth happened to you Lillian?" Her sweet voice was heavy with concern.  
  
"I'll tell you later. I just have to know, can you cut hair?"  
  
"Sorry darlin', I don't know how." I let out a defeated sigh and leaned myself against a fence post. "But I know Laney can." I didn't like that option one bit.  
  
"Can anyone from Konohana help?" I asked hoping for a plan B.  
  
"I don't think so." I cursed under my breath.  
  
"Alright, Laney it is. Will you, um, come with me though?" I wanted someone else there in hopes of keeping things civil.  
  
"Of course." She smiled and ducked between the bars of the fence.  
  
As we walked by the flower stand I was happy to see Cam was distracted with closing shop. I darted past the stall quickly, not wanting him to see me like this, and ran into the café. Howard looked up at me as I burst in, ready to greet me with his usual smile.  
  
"Lillian darling what on earth happened to you?" I shook my head at Howard.  
  
"I uh. . .” I was at a loss for words. Georgia knew she'd get some kind of an explanation later but I didn't know what to say to Howard. “I'm fine, I just," I spotted Laney behind the counter. "I need your daughters help." I hoped he wouldn't push the topic.  
  
"Why?" She asked before turning around to look at me. "Oh." 'Oh' was the right way to describe my current mess.  
  
"Laney we need you to help fix this." Georgia picked up a tuft of my cut hair to emphasize the problem.  
  
"I don't think so." I groaned at her answer.  
  
"Listen Laney." I snapped, not wanting to put up with this drama today. "I don't care why you don't like me, I just, I need your help fixing this. So whatever I did to upset you, I'm sorry. I'll even pay you for your time, just help me. Please." I begged happy that the café was empty. I watched the blonde woman roll her eyes.  
  
"Fine-"  
  
"What about snacks? We should have tea and cookies." Georgia suggested, interrupting a frustrated and confused Laney.  
  
"Yeah sure. Just meet me upstairs in my room, I'll be there in five. And it'll be free." I nodded and went upstairs. I was about to enter what I thought was Laney's room. The room was pink from floor to ceiling and was decorated with an overwhelming amount of lace and flowers. However, Georgia informed me that this was Howard's room, Laney's was the blue one across the hall. I took a seat on a small wooden desk chair that I moved to the center of the blue room and waited patiently for Laney.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Coltsfoot: Justice will be done


	18. Hawthorne

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why were there so many point of view changes in this chapter? Who knows!

I ran my comb through her choppy hair, trying to see how much I had to work with. Whatever did this left a short chunk in the middle on her head. At its shortest Lillian's hair was a few inches above her shoulders. The longer parts hit the bottom of her shoulder blades. "So how attached are you to your hair?"  
  
"Not too much." She sipped the rose tea I brought up for her and Georgia. "Why how bad is it?" Georgia looped around Lillian and inspected the hair as well.   
  
"Um." The ginger mumbled, handing me my shears.   
  
"That bad huh?" Lillian laughed it off. "Well, just make sure it looks good." It was odd how nonchalant she was about this, I couldn't imagine cutting my hair so short.   
  
"Alright." I automatically began snipping off the longer locks, making sure the rest of her hair was uniform and at least shoulder length before I started to figure out a style. I could help but think about what she said to me earlier. Sure her apology was half hearted at best but it had truth to it. I was jealous of her getting all Ash's attention and taking him away from me. But thinking back on them together and what he had told me it was obvious she didn't feel the same. Still, she was the one he was lovesick over. "Ash," My mouth spoke without my realizing it.   
  
"What?" Lillian moved her head as I was about to cut and I shoved it back into place. "Agh, careful." She snapped, grabbing her neck as she jerked back in pain.   
  
"Then keep you head still." I hesitated before speaking again. "Sorry." I membled, remembering the sorry state of her neck. "I don't like you because of Ash." I changed the topic back. No matter how weird Cam thought my crush on Ash was I couldn't exactly stop it, I'd had it since I was eleven. Sure, he was Cam's half-brother but not the half that was related to me so I never really thought of it as wrong. I wasn't raised to think of Ash as family. He wasn't anything more than a cute neighbor who was friends with my little brother. Cam was the only one who thought of him as family.   
  
"What?" Georgia asked, no doubt surprised, she was the only one I had told about my crush. Sure the rest of the town had picked up on it by now, but suspicions and admitting it were two different things. I chose to ignore her question.   
  
"I kinda figured when I saw you with him on Harmony Day." There was a knowing tone in her voice. "Seriously though, I don't like him like that." She sounded distant, lost in thought. "Promise."   
  
"I know." I exhaled. There was still a twinge of jealousy in my heart.  _Lillian can't control Ash's feelings more than you can_. I reminded myself. "You still irritate me."   
  
"And you still bug me." She paused. "I just think we should get along." I drew my bottom lip between my teeth and kept cutting. "I'm not asking for a friendship. Just peace." Peace? Peace didn't sound like an unattainable goal.   
  
"Just peace." I repeated with a smile.

 

* * *

 

"Alright." I was pulled up out of my seat by the blonde. "So, what do you think?" Laney asked when I was led to her standing mirror. I looked over at the chef who was standing tall, hands on her hips in pride. I looked at my hair. It was drastically shorter and fell just below my ears in a bob. The reduced weight let my hair spring up into a natural wave. I turned side to side trying to get a good look at it. I couldn't help but smile.   
  
"I think it's cute." Georgia noted.   
  
"Honestly? I love it." I turned and hugged the blonde woman.   
  
"Good." She was stiff for a moment but gave in and hugged me awkwardly in return. I let out a small laugh as that reminded me so much of Cam.   
  
"Thank you." I said before I released her.   
  
"It's no problem." She smiled back at me. This smile wasn't her usual fake one, this one was actually genuine, or it at least looked it.   
  
"Do you need help cleaning up?" I offered.   
  
"You should go home and relax. I'll help Laney." Georgia insisted. I nodded and descended the stairs, hoping Howard hadn't closed shop yet.   
  
"Lillian," The large man squealed. "You look adorable." My cheeks turned pink.   
  
"Thank you Howard." I flashed him a smile.   
  
"Lillian?" I knew the voice the second I heard it. I turned to see Cam peering out of his room, his eyes widened when he saw me. I was honestly quite surprised that he didn't see me run to town hall or Harris drag Will in. "What happened?" I watched as several different emotions flashed across his face.   
  
"Can we talk about it privately?" I asked, knowing Howard loved talking about everything and anything.   
  
"Yeah sure. Let's go for a walk." He threw his hat on and we made our way to the outskirts of town. Once we were alone he sat down on the bench. "So what happened?"   
  
I took a seat next to him. "Will happened." I said bitterly. "After you left, he came by and got a little. .. .rough.” I said for lack of a better word. “But I'm fine.” I assured him. “He's just a dick.” I smiled, trying to make him feel better.

“What happened?” He asked again.

“He just cut me a little.” My voice was small. “But it's not your fault.” I added quickly, trying to prevent him from feeling guilty.

 

* * *

 

I stared at her in disbelief, mouth agape. She was seriously injured because I had to leave for work. I didn't even have to leave right away, I could've opened the shop late and it probably wouldn't have affected my sales that much. And she was trying to tell me I wasn't to blame? "Where is he now?" There's no way she would've been patched up without people asking questions.   
  
"Officer Harris picked him up and it was this whole thing.” Lillian rolled her hand in the air. “A lotta me telling the truth and him not trying to deny it. Gotta admit I had more than my word to back it up.” She jabbed her thumb towards her neck. “Good news is I got him to drop the charges he was going to file against you so long as I dropped mine." She shrugged like it wasn't a big deal. "The better news is that I filed a restraining order against him, so if he comes back Officer Harris will throw him in prison without bail. . . probably. I not one hundred percent sure on how they work.” She looked at me out of the corner of her eye, small smile on her face. “But I'm pretty sure I'm as safe as can be.” Pride overwhelmed her tired voice.

 _Wait, he was going to file charges?_ I blinked a few times trying to catch up with her. Despite having it explained to me I was still dumbfounded. “Repeat that,” I requested. “, but slower.”

“Right. So I get get hurt and run away, yeah?” I nodded but I still blamed myself for that. “I get patched up and Rutger called Officer Harris. Harris brings Will in.” She looked towards me again, waiting for my acknowledgment.

“Alright, I'm with you so far.”

“I want to press charges but while I'm in the middle of recapping things Will threatens you ‘cause of the whole nose thing. So I talk things out and I agreed to not have him arrested if he didn't go after you.” I watched her proudly announce her scheme. The way the warm glow of the sun hit her face made it seem like the world wanted to bring attention to her victory. I had never known anyone with as much strength as Lillian had. It was enthralling.    
  
"You're insane." I couldn't help but let out a sharp laugh.   
  
"There's a fine line between genius and insanity." She threw her arm around my shoulders, smirking while she did so. "I walk that line." Her bad hand cut a smooth line through the air.

“Please.” I scoffed.

“I know, that was too much.” She let out a warm laugh and my heart began to beat faster. I loosely wrapped my right arm around her shoulder and relaxed back into the bench.  _My racing heart was just the excitement from her victory._ I assured myself.   
  
"Does it hurt at all?"   
  
"Well, yeah. But it's not the worst I've had." She leaned her head on my shoulder. “Then again Ayame slathered enough lidocaine on me to numb a bear.” Her hand popped up in front of my face. "This is going to make farm work a pain to do though."   
  
"I'll help you out if you want." I felt her shake her head lazily. I closed my eyes, basking in the late afternoon sun.   
  
"You don't have to do that." She mumbled. Arguing with her was pointless, once she said no that was it. Besides, farm work wasn't exactly something I was good at. So I just relaxed with her by my side.   
  
"I'm sorry I let that happen to you."   
  
"Hey. Shut up." She gently hit her head against my chest. "I told you to leave. Like I said, busy day, right?" I groaned a little. Even if I had a good day today it wouldn't have been worth her injuries.   
  
"Not great."   
  
"How 'not great'?"   
  
"I think everyone but Laney, Ash and Howard used wildflowers."   
  
"That's cold." I nodded in agreement. "Why do you think that is?" I shrugged slightly, being careful not to disturb her.   
  
"Do you think you could. . ." My sentence trailed off. I was almost too embarrassed about bringing it up.   
  
"I could?" She prodded.   
  
"Help me with my shop." I said sheepishly. She looked up at me, clearly curious. "Well, 'cause, you're, good with people, right?" I wasn't sure if this question was intended to be rhetorical or not. Either way it was going to get an answer.   
  
"You could say that." Her voice held a tone of joking arrogance. "Why, what's up?"   
  
"I, um, need some help with my stall. I didn't have a lot of customers today, and considering it was flower day that's not a good sign. I think it's the way I deal with people." She listened intently. "Do you think that you could help me, when you're feeling up to it that is?" She thought for a moment.   
  
"Of course I can." She grinned. "Listen, I'll swing by tomorrow after I finish my chores and eat lunch. Deal?"   
  
"Deal." I agreed.   
  
I waited for her at my stall the next day, The Final Unicorn by my side. I hadn't had a customer all day so I decided to read the book as I waited for Lillian. Currently I was at the part where the unicorn escaped the circus and there was a harpy murdering an old woman. The writing was captivating, engrossing even and I had lost focus on the world around me.   
  
"That's not the best way to attract people." Lillian's chastising voice startled me.   
  
"I know but I was bored." I closed the book and handed it to her. "I'm sorry, I borrowed it without asking."   
  
"It's fine, but you should keep it, it's a good read." She took the book from me anyway. "You can have this back at the end of the day."   
  
"Are you punishing me?" I couldn't help but smirk.   
  
"No I'm minimizing distractions." She rummaged through her satchel and slammed a brass bell on my table.   
  
"What's that for?" She dropped her bag behind my storage cart. Without telling me what her plan was she decided to ring the bell a few times. She gently elbowed me and rang it again, nodding her head like I was missing the cue. “R-right, I need to get some attention." Our eyes met in a sideways glance.

 

* * *

 

"C-come one, come all . . . to Cam's Flowers." His voice was shaky and quiet, like a frightened child. He waited for a moment and was clearly irritated that no one heard him. "See what I meant? I'm not cut out for this."

"Hey," I scolded, trying to make sure he listened. "You made it this far, so clearly you have a talent for this." He nodded reluctantly. "Just put a little umph in your voice and try again." I encouraged. He looked over towards me and sighed.  
  
"Alright." He mumbled.   
  
"Just remember, these are friends and neighbors, not strangers. Act like you're talking to me or Laney, just be louder." I rang my little bell again.   
  
"Come one, come all," He said more confidently than before. ", to Cam's Flowers." This caught the attention of Rutger who was by the message board.   
  
"Well, you seem to be raring to go today." The older man smiled at us.   
  
"Umm, yeah, I guess so." The florist did his best to keep a smile on his face.   
  
"You know, you've changed recently." Cam just stared at the mayor blankly. "You've never really shown emotions, even as a kid, can you believe it?" He asked me. This caught me off guard so I just nodded. I could easily picture Cam being a very laid back kid, probably reading instead of playing catch. "Lately you've been so animated. I wonder why." He sent a wry smile my way. My stomach fluttered in response. I peeked upwards to see a warm smile pull at Cam’s lips.   
  
"Well if you say so sir, then it must be true." The florist chuckled a little.   
  
"Ah, to be young and in love." Rutger teased. I could feel the blood rush to my face, my ears and cheeks burned, and I wanted to bury my face in embarrassment. And yet, I eagerly watched Cam to see his reaction.   
  
"Mayor, I think you have the wrong idea." He insisted, voice calmer than ever before.  _Ouch_. I tried not to wince at that. I had hoped I wasn't just a friend in his mind.  
  
"Right." The mayor laughed. "Anyways, I think I'd like to get Rose a bouquet, I haven't done that in a while."   
  
"May I suggest red roses? Not only are they the symbol of love but they match your wife's namesake."   
  
"That sounds wonderful." Cam quickly made the bouquet, adding baby's-breath and other greens I didn't recognize. "I know Rose will love this. Thank you." Rutger dropped the coins into Cam's hand. I watched the mayor walk away.   
  
"Hey," Cam said suddenly. ", sorry he got the wrong idea about us." I laughed nervously, trying to mask the pain I felt.   
  
"It's all good." I lied,  gently punching him in the arm in a supportive dude-like manner. "Now, let's keep working." For the rest of the day customers came and went. Most wanted to buy flowers to decorate their homes with, but some bought seeds for their window boxes. He did really well with all of them, which was pretty impressive. I dug the book out of my bag after I put my bell away. I put the book down on the counter by the Marguerite seeds, careful not to crush any flowers.   
  
"Before you leave," He turned around and rummaged through his cart pulling out a white flower. ", I wanted to give you this, as a thank you for today." I looked at his sweet smile. Gods my heart wanted to break through my chest as I took the flower. "It's a white violet."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hawthorne: Hope
> 
> Just as a side note, I understand how the whole Will issue can seem like I was romanticizing abusive relationships or diminishing how difficult is can be to overcome them and move forward with your life. I know it can be a lifelong issue that you'll never move past and how easily Lillian moved forward isn't reflecting reality. Looking back it's clear how unrealistic Lillian's victory over her abuser is. I never intended it to be a hyper realistic take on the longlasting effects that abuse has on your mental health. I know it's not something you can move past so easily. I want to acknowledge the strength and work abuse survivors have put in to move forward with their lives. And while I have been reworking this story I didn't want to remove the Will aspect but I did want to acknowledge the problems I have with it as an adult. Abuse is a complex and difficult topic to approach and I don't cover it well nor do I give it the respect it deserves.


	19. Amaranthus

Lillian's hand gently brushed against mine when she took the flower, her blue eyes lighting up as she smelled it. "It's beautiful." Her saccharine smile only made my heart ache. "Thank you."   
  
"No, thank you for helping me today." I felt her wrap her arms around me and pull me into a brief hug which instinctively made my body tense up.   
  
"Any time. Today was fun." I loosely wrapped one arm around her and pat her back.   
  
I heard a small branch break, which made me look over to see Ash, who was probably on his way to get dinner. He stood there staring at us, my heart sank when I saw the betrayal on his face. Before I could say anything he turned and walked away. I remembered why I couldn't be anything but a friend to Lillian.   
  
"Listen." I said after a while. "You should head home. You probably need to feed your animals dinner, huh?" She lifted her head up and looked at me with furrowed brows.   
  
"Uh, alright then." She sounded much less chipper than usual. "Good job." I saw her force a smile before she scooped up her rucksack. “Bye.” She headed for her house giving me a wave as she descended the stairs that led to the café. I started to put my stock away before heading into Howard's. I didn't bother saying hello to anyone, I just made a b-line to my room. Laney rhythmically knocked at my door. Without my permission she burst in.   
  
"What, we don't get your lovely company for dinner?" She teased.   
  
"You know it's rude to enter a room without permission." I purposefully ignored her question, picking up the small worn sketch pad I kept by my bed. “I have work to do.” I waved a colored pencil back and forth, like that would show her how busy I was.   
  
"Oh come on, you never do anything important." I grunted. "So what's bothering you?" She entered more and took a seat at my desk.   
  
"Nothing."   
  
"Nothing?" She prodded.   
  
"Nothing." I parroted.   
  
"Are you absolutely positive?" She leaned forward and stared at me, resting her chin in her palms.   
  
"Yes."   
  
"Okay then," She stood up, smiling mischievously. "I'll set aside some dinner for you."   
  
"Thanks." She shut the door and I heard her run upstairs. I took a seat on my bed and kicked off my shoes, not caring where they landed and laid face-down on my bed. I blindly groped for my DC player and turned it on. All I wanted to do was relax and enjoy whatever cd I had in the device. Admittedly, the music was too upbeat but I have to energy to get up and change it. I just kept remembering Lillian; her sun kissed skin, her vibrant cerulean eyes, and bright smile. I couldn't get my mind off of her. I didn't know how or when she became more than a friend to me, but she was, and that had to change. I heard another knock at my door. "What is it Laney?" I sat up and looked at her.   
  
"Tomorrow, noon, mountain-top, be there."   
  
"Excuse me?" That was a strange list of demands. She let out an exasperated sigh.   
  
"Tomorrow, go to the mountain top at noon." I shook my head.   
  
"I got that.” I assured her, my voice drenched in sarcasm. “Why exactly  _ should _ I do that?"   
  
"Because you have a date." I was utterly speechless. Laney had been wanting to set me up for years now. Each time I said no, but she kept trying, and this was yet another attempt to force someone on me.   
  
"W-why?" Was the most eloquent sentence I could get out at this moment.   
  
"You need something to distract you from whatever this," Her hand made a large sweeping circle in my direction. ", is."   
  
"Why should I go?" I felt a headache starting to form in my temples. She folded her arms across her chest in a huff, sending a few stray locks of hair down her face.   
  
"Because if you don't go I'll pester you every second of every day." I glared at her, it wasn't a hollow threat. She was like a child and the only way to make her stop give her what she wanted. "And if it doesn't go well I'll never try to set you up again." The prospect of her dropping this forever was tempting.   
  
"Never?" I was skeptical. This was too good of a deal.   
  
"I'll accept the fact that you will never find love and will die alone as a crazy cat-man." She held up her right hand. "I swear on my mother's grave."   
  
"Whatever." She squealed in delight and bounced up and down excitedly. That apple certainly didn't fall far from the Howard-shaped tree.   
  
"You're gonna love her." I rolled my eyes. How bad could it actually be?   
  
The next day I waited at the mountain top, book in hand, waiting for the girl to show up. I wasn't sure if I got there too early or she was running late but I waited for her for a while.   
  
"Cam?" I heard a monotone voice ask, I peered up from my book. Standing before me was a black haired woman with dark eyes and an expressionless face. She looked familiar. I racked my brain trying to remember her name. I had seen her at festivals and gatherings Laney dragged me to, but I hadn't spoken to her much.   
  
"Yeah." I closed the book and held out my hand. "R-reina, right?" I took a shot in the dark. She nodded and shook my hand.   
  
"So." She said. "Laney tells me you're a florist." I always got the idea that the people from Konohana weren't super fond of me. I couldn't blame it on the town rivalry because everyone else our age got along. Maybe it was because I never gave them a chance. To be fair I hadn't even given Georgia much of a chance and she was Laney's best friend. People just kinda found their way into my life, I never invited them in. Who knows, maybe there was something pleasant about this girl.  _ I mean, there must be if Laney is friends with her _ .   
  
"I am." I nodded. "And you are?"   
  
"A botanist." She looked confused, almost offended. Was this a known fact around town?    
  
"Cool." I didn't know what else to say and an awkward silence started to form. She stood there toying with one of her braids absentmindedly as she stared at me.   
  
"So. . . are we going to go anywhere?" She asked, clearly unimpressed by this location.   
  
"I was thinking we could take a walk around the mountain." Looking at wildflowers was always a pleasant time, maybe even try to find something we liked about one another. Or more aptly, something we didn't hate about each other.  _ It's not like I got along well with Lillian when I fir- Stop it _ . I mentally slapped myself. This date was supposed to help get my mind off of her. "You could see some of the flowers that grow on our side of the mountain." I said through the lump in my throat.   
  
"I guess so." She shrugged. We walked in silence for a while, but it wasn't a comfortable one. It was heavy and suffocating. How long did this have to go on? "So what flowers do you sell?" Reina asked after what felt like an eternity.   
  
"It depends on the season, but I sell a bunch of different flowers and seeds." I rubbed the back of my neck.   
  
"Like what?" Even when she seemed interested in talking to me her voice still made her sound bored.   
  
"Roses, carnations, snowdrops, marguerites, gerberas, so on and so on. It's a if you can name it I have it sorta thing."    
  
"Oh. I'd like to swing by one day so I can pick up a variety of flowers and seeds to study."   
  
"Study?"   
  
"Yeah, I'd dissect the flowers and place them on glass slides under a microscope. Find out how they work on a microscopic level. Maybe watch and see how they decompose and what fungi and insects are attracted to them." Her eyes lit up a little as she spoke, but that only made me more uncomfortable.   
  
"Sounds, um, interesting." I lied to her. Flowers weren't meant to be destroyed in such a way. I knew how they grew and died and I didn't have to rip them apart to understand that.   
  
"It is." I hated forcing small talk. Conversation with Lillian came so naturally, but this was just, stilted and awkward. “I keep a field journal with everything I've observed. Like did you know that Aster can get infected by this thing that's smaller than bacteria and it causes the plan to deform and stop flowering? If that plan does grow the next season it still doesn't flower correctly and looks like a whole different species. And that's just the beginning! Leaf scorch is another fascinating parasite that, despite its fiery name, prefers cloudy damp days because it's an infectious mold!”

“Wow. . . a plant destroying mold. How fun?” I tried my best to sound interested in her work because it probably was really helpful to the crop growing town of Konohana; but to me watching beautiful flowers decay wasn't exactly enjoyable.   
  


* * *

  
I decided to see Cam today. I wasn't happy with how things ended the other day and I thought bringing him the leftover soup he made would help patch things up. Besides, I wanted to pick up a bouquet for my house. When I reached the stall I was surprised to find it closed, it was a Sunday after all. I walked into the café in hopes of finding him there.   
  
"Goooood afternoon Lillian!" Howard greeted me in a sing song tone. "What brings you by today?"   
  
"I was just looking for Cam. I brought him some tum yum gong, or whatever it's called, " I laughed a little at my bad joke. ", but his stall seems to be closed for the day. Do you know where he is?"   
  
"Yes, he's ‘hanging out’ with that Reina girl.” He said complete with air quotes. I tried to keep a smile on my face as the man spoke. He was clearly proud of his son for going out on a date but his smile was a punch to the gut.   
  
"Oh. Okay, umm, cool." I placed the bowl of soup on the counter. "Be sure to give him this, and tell him that I didn't want the last of it to go bad. I have go plant some turnips." I tried to think of any excuse possible. "So, yeah, bye." As if my bad acting wasn't enough I shot a pair of finger guns at the tall man before I turned and left. I just wanted to be at home where I could curl up in a little ball of sadness and hide from the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Amaranthus: Hopeless


	20. Pheasants Eye

_ You can do this _ . I assured myself as I hid behind a large oak tree, looking like a crazy person.  _ This doesn't bother you, not one bit. Just play it cool, act casual. _ I was slowly working up the courage to walk over to Cam's store. With one last deep breath I decided it was now or never and sauntered over to his stall, hoping my false bravado was enough to hide the pain. Ever since I found out about him and Reina I just couldn't bring myself to talk to him but I couldn't avoid him today, I needed flowers.   
  
"Hi." I murmured, so much for sounding strong and breezy. "I need two bouquets." I forced myself to talk louder but I was worried in my nerves I'd overdo it and end up shouting. Then I really would look like a crazy person. I kept my eyes down at the various seed packets he had for sale today, hoping that would help me retain some composure.   
  
"Of what exactly?"   
  
"Flowers, what else would be in a bouquet?" Keeping a bitter tone out of my voice was more difficult than I anticipated.   
  
"No." He let out a laugh that was as warm as a summer breeze. That laugh alone was enough to make my heart set off at a sprint. "I meant what type would you like?"   
  
"Why does it matter?"   
  
"Different flowers say different things." I watched him as he picked up a daisy he had on display. "Daisies for instance speak of innocence. While primroses tell some that you cannot live without them." I could see the passion he felt for his work, as his emerald eyes sparkled with excitement.   
  
"Oh, right you told me about this before." When I first bought flowers for everyone in town he explained the difference between chrysanthemums and hydrangeas. I looked up at him from underneath my lashes still unable to make direct eye contact. "I guess I want something that says a lot. I need it to say I miss you or I'll always love you or something." He bit his lower lip as he thought, slowly shifting his weight back and forth as he rocked on his heels. Suddenly he turned to the large cart that lived behind his stand, and started pulling out a few flowers.   
  
"Here's a few ideas." He placed a stalk that had little, pink, heart-shaped flowers dangling off of it on the table first. "These probably say the most. They're bleeding hearts, which are all about pouring one's heart out." He showed me a pink carnation next. "This says I'll never forget you."   
  
"What about lilies?"   
  
"Lilies? Well. . ." He racked his brain for a second tapping his finger on the cloth covered table. "Most represent happiness and purity, except the day lily, that represents motherhood."   
  
"I like that. Use all three I guess but just make the lilies their own thing." He started gathering the flowers and greenery he'd need to make the bouquets. I watched in amazement as he arranged the beautiful flowers. He handled them precisely and yet so delicately, knowing where to put each one. There was one bouquet of lilies and one of carnations, but both had a few bleeding hearts as accent flowers.   
  
"So, are you going to the Stargazing Festival?"   
  
"No." I paused. "I'm going out of town for a few days, so I won't be able to make it."   
  
"Oh." Why did he care? Even if I did go he would have been distracted by Reina. Gods I sounded so petty. "Well, where are you off to?"   
  
"Home." He looked up from his work, his head snapping up at an abnormal speed.   
  
"With Will around there, are you insane?" His frustration rang loud and clear. "You shouldn't go."   
  
"I  _ have _ to go." My eyes started to sting. "The restraining order is still effective there. Besides I'll have friends with me, like Chelsea and Vaughn." Will was the least of my concerns now that he had the police watching him.

“You're gonna get yourself hurt.” He said very matter of factly.    


“I'm going.” There was no talking me out of this. Not that he bothered to ask why I was leaving in the first place.

"Whatever, do what you want." He shoved the bouquets at me. "It's two thousand total." I dropped the money down on the counter and stormed off without saying another word.    
  
The next morning I sat on the small ferry, my stomach was in knots and my heart ached. The choppy seas weren't helping settle my stomach. Off in the distance I could see my home Islands drawing closer and closer. I wish I wasn't returning, but not because I was afraid of Will. It was the anniversary of my parents' death. A sudden tap on my shoulder pulled me out of my thoughts. I looked up to see one of the deck hands standing over me.   
  
"Ma'am we've docked. You have to depart." Wordlessly I stood up and walked down on to the dock. I saw Chelsea and Vaughn standing at the end of the dock. I just walked up to a visibly pregnant Chelsea, just wanting some comfort. Instantly she pulled me into a tight embrace, knowing exactly what I wanted without saying anything.   
  
I took a seat on their carriage, Vaughn sat next to me behind the reigns. Chelsea walked up to the carriage and grabbed my bag. "I wish you were coming." I said.   
  
"I would if I could, but the bumpy roads aren't safe for me right now." She took a few steps back. "I'll see you when you get back. Alright?" I nodded slowly.   
  
"Ready?" Vaughn asked. I said a soft yes and he made a clicking sound. Andy started to make his way down the road. I just watched the familiar surroundings pass by as we made our way to Harvest Goddess Island.   
  
I looked around the small island, happy that my parents had a beautiful resting spot. Everything looked different but exactly the same. Before I entered the graveyard I pulled a carnation out of my fathers bouquet and I set the flower down gently in front of the Goddess' spring.   
  
"I'll wait for you here." Vaughn said, leaning up against the front of church. The graveyard was understandably small as the church wasn't more than fifty years old. I didn't have to read the headstones to know where I was going. They were the only two in the way back enveloped by overgrown grass and weeds.   
  
The stones sat underneath a large willow tree, bits of sunlight filtered between the leaves which helped make their patch of the cemetery seem less dreary. I laid the carnations down on my father's stone and the lilies on my mom's. In an attempt to keep my mind occupied for a few more minutes I began pulling up any big weeds in the immediate vicinity, grabbing the large chunks of leaves by the base and ripping them up. After I felt like I had removed enough weeds I moved on the the moss covering both headstones. Had Phil not been here yet or did he not care? I couldn't decide if running into him like this was worse than him not caring enough to clean up.

When both the burial plots were tidy enough I took a seat in front of the stones. My tired eyes looked at the names Caroline and Henry Sarris. I traced the cracks in the stones and let the tears flow. "I wish you didn't leave me.” I knew they didn't have a choice in the matter but I was still mad at them for leaving so soon. Maybe I'd still be living on the Islands, Will wouldn't be in my life and I would have a gross neck scar. Maybe I'd have gone to college or overcome my fear of the ocean. Maybe maybes weren't doing me any good. “I hate the fact that I'll never see you again, or hear you tell me that you loved me but I don't blame you.” I added quickly, feeling the need to clarify after my last statement. "I think you'd be proud of me." I went on to tell them about my life. "I'm sorry if you think abandoning Phil was wrong. I just needed to get out." Memories of my last year with Phil came flooding back. I clenched my jaw tightly. "Why did you leave?" I asked desperately wanting there to be an answer despite knowing there would never be one. Death happens to everyone at one point or another and they were no exception. I hugged my knees to my chest. 

"Mom, what should I do?" I didn't know what I wanted anymore. When I was little I wanted to run a farm like my parents or I wanted to be a veterinarian. But now I owned a farm because I wanted to escape life here and it was the only thing I knew how to do. That wasn't how I wanted to start my adult life or how I wanted to continue my parents legacy.  “I do love it.” I admitted. “It's just not the way I wanted to get here.” I stared at the white and pink bouquet.. Underneath it sat an envelope. I picked it up and inspected it. There was something heavy inside. On the front, scrawled in my brother's handwriting, it said Lilypad. I peeled the envelope open to see a letter and my mother's wedding band and blue feather. I pulled the letter out first, doing my best to read Phil's chicken scratch.   
  
_ Dear Lilypad, _ __   
__   
_ I hope you are feeling better (Chelsea told me what happened to you). I'm so very sorry, I never meant for any of this to happen. I feel awful that any harm came to you, because of my actions. I just wanted you to stay, you're my only sister. I never wanted you to hate me. If you could find it in your heart to forgive me I'd be forever grateful. I'm not asking for it immediately, just eventually. I've come to understand why you left. I hope wherever you are you're happy. _ __   
__   
_ Inside this envelope is mom's wedding band and the blue feather dad gave her. Mom wanted me to give you these on your twenty-first birthday. But seeing as we weren't talking then I didn't get a chance to give it to you. I guess it's better late than never, right? She always wanted you to find your happily ever after like she did. I'm sorry for trying to write your story for you. _ __   
__   
_ Love, Phil _   
  
Next to his name was his phone number. I folded his note up and shoved it back into the envelope. I pulled the ring out and inspected it. Etched on the inside in small script it read; "Caroline, I would not wish for any companion in the world but you." The ring was a simple silver, flawed but beautiful. I ran my fingers over the dents and scratches. I always loved it when my mom let me hold it as a child, she would tell me about how dad made it for her in his little workshop. I slipped it on each finger, trying to find one that fit best. It ended up on my left hands middle finger. The chunk of purple fluorite glittered in the sun, Phil must have cleaned it before giving it to me.   
  
Even now I felt like a child again, at least I wanted to. I wanted that feeling of unconditional safety and positivity to return. I could hear that lullaby she would sing every night to help keep the monsters away.  __ "Somewhere over the rainbow, way up high. There's a land that I heard of, once in a lullaby." The song rang in my mind, as if I heard her sing it yesterday.   
  
"And some-somewhere over the rainbow. Skies are blue. And the dreams that you dared to dream, really do come true." I sang quietly with her. It never mattered to her how bad my singing was, she always loved hearing me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pheasants Eye: Sorrowful remembrance


	21. Wall Flower

I was rudely awoken the next day by Chelsea shaking me violently. I opened one eye to look at her. Once I saw that she was smiling I tore myself away from her tight grasp and rolled over to face the wall opposite her.    
  
"What?" I groaned while attempting to pull the sheets up over my face.   
  
"It's ten. You're lucky I let you sleep in this late." She shook me again, significantly less this time around since she was aware I was more awake. "How do you even run a farm? You're so lazy." I opened my eyes and turned enough to glare at her. 

“I'm not lazy I'm just emotionally exhausted.” I corrected and attempted to pull the sheets up again.

"That may be so but you still have to be up and greet the day." She pursed her lips and began to tap her foot impatiently. Each time her foot hit the floor the sound grew louder and louder to emphasize her frustration.

"Alright." I groaned. With one fluid motion I rolled over and swung my legs over the edge of the bed. "I'm up, I'm up." I pushed her out of the way so I could stand. “You're gonna make that kid really unhappy when it comes to getting ready for school.”   


"I know, it's gonna be great!" Her voice became several octaves higher in her excitement, making me flinch at the sudden high-pitched noise. 

“And I'm a great person to practice your tactics on.” I shuffled around her and craned my neck up to look at my healing neck. I didn't expect the scar to look perfect or anything but I was hoping it'd be less aggressively pink by now.

“Now we can go hang out and shop like we used to. Oh, it's gonna be so much fun." I rolled my eyes and pushed her towards the door. "Aww come on, don't be a meanie." She teased and stuck her tongue out childishly.

"I'm not 'being a meanie', I want to put on real clothes." I knew she just wanted to keep me distracted to help me cheer up, and hanging out like teenagers again was certainly going to help, but leaving the house in my pajamas wasn't an option. “Just give me, like, ten minutes.”   


  
We strolled down the busy streets of a nearby island. The streets were lined with stores and restaurants. Each store seemed to be more lavish than the last. Some stores sold jewelry, some clothing, some art and others books. Even though it was still summer the clothing stores were already showing off their fall and winter fashions. Everything looked so extravagant, nothing I wanted to wear around a farm. Still Chelsea dragged me into almost every store. Some had maternity clothes, which she needed badly, but most didn't. Even if she had no luck at a store she insisted that I try something on for fun. More often than not that lead to me wearing the most garish items we could find.

"What about this?" She was holding a pink, floral print, dress up. From the way the light came through the fabric I could tell it was a very thin garment. Perfect for summer, but the window of opportunity to wear it was coming to an end.   


"It's a little impractical for the upcoming seasons." She looked at it, her eyes scanning it up and down before nodding sharply. I fought my way past the crowd towards the front of the store and went snooping around the back of the hoping to find something from last season. Hidden among an array of high waisted skirts, wrap dresses, and jeans that dotted a sale rack I spotted a heather sweater-dress with a peter-pan collar. I pulled it off the rack and spun around to show Chelsea, who was still trying to make her way towards me. "See, this is winter clothing, kinda.” Afterall, it was still a dress. I looked down at the lavender knit fabric and smiled slightly, it was the same color as Cam's favorite dress shirt. Just the thought of him reminded me that it was almost the first of fall, and even if we weren't talking I wanted to get him a birthday present.   


"It's cute." Chelsea speaking brought me out of my thoughts. "You should get it." I checked the price tag, relieved it wasn't too expensive.   


"I think I will." I smiled. Chelsea managed to find a few maternity clothes in a small nook that was off to the left of the dressing rooms. 

 

Soon enough we were walking down the streets again, passing countless more boutiques. Hidden between an art gallery and a jewelers was a small and dark building. set back a bit from the others. The peculiar location and hand painted sign caught my attention. It was a small apothecary. Immediately I grabbed her arm and dragged her in.   
  
"Why here?" I simply smiled at her and pushed the door open. It was a bit of a sensory overload. The walls were covered in shelves which were lined with dozens of jars that contained various colored herbs and plants. My eyes wanted to focus on every jar that was there as they all had a handmade label that incorporated a drawing of the flower or plant. In a small store like this it was almost claustrophobic. My nose was also bombarded with an array of scents. If I were to take a guess this is what a witches house would smell like. A light scratching noise caught my attention and I turned to look at the owner. He was a short and portly gentleman who, despite not looking that old, had a large silver beard. His hair was a similar color and appeared to be thinning but I couldn't quite tell as it was hidden beneath a wool cap.   
  
"Excuse me sir," I said to the owner behind the counter. ", I was wondering if you could help me with something." His lips curled up into a smile, revealing slightly yellowed teeth below, and making the small wrinkles around his eyes more prominent.

"Of course miss, what would you like?" He chuckled. He stood up from his stool and started making his way towards us.   


"I'd like your help making a tea blend for a friend." I didn't even have to look at Chelsea since I could feel her curious gaze burning from behind me.   


"But of course," An oddly comforting wave of tobacco and peppermint hit my nose when he spoke, reminding me of the few times I spent with my grandfather as a young child. ", what'cha think they'd like?" I thought about Cam for a moment before speaking.   


"It should be a black tea, not too sweet." I thought about the foods he liked and his personality. "It needs to have a somewhat bold taste, some spice as well, not a spicy spice but a warm one. I think it should also be kinda subtle as well, maybe even soft spoken for a black tea. . . if that makes sense." I realized how contradictory my description may have sounded. "I guess it should feel like autumn." I added worried the rest of my description wasn't conveying what I wanted. Like a warm fleece blanket on a cold October night, he was warm and comforting, and his gift needed to reflect that. Out of the corner of my eye I watched Chelsea as her smirk grew into a peculiar smile. "I know that's a lot of things.” 

“No I understand what you're saying.” The old man responded with a chuckle. He nodded and thought for a moment before picking up a metal bowl and moving to the main wall. There were rows and rows of shelves that covered the long wall opposite the windows and door. Each shelf was filled to the brim with glass jars of varying shapes and sizes, and they seemed to be perfectly sized to fit their contents. It looked like a colorful chaotic mess but it was all alphabetized. I watched him flutter around with the energy of a child. Despite his excited and frantic manner he was deliberate with his movements and knew exactly where he was going. He pulled out ginger, licorice, marshmallow root. Suddenly he stopped, his hand hovered over a small mason jar clearly debating on whether or not to use its contents. After a moment of eerie stillness he reached his hand in and pulled out something by the name of purple coneflower. He quickly returned to his dancing about pulling out more common ingredients; like cloves, cinnamon flakes, fennel seeds, and some cardamon.

"Give it a gentle sniff before I grind this up." He said with a twirl. The large metal bowl was inches from my face. I couldn't help but smirk at his theatrics and I lightly sniffed the contents a few times. It was warm and spicy, with a sweet undertone. My smirk couldn't help but melt into a grin, it was perfect.

 

"I love it." He nodded and went behind a thin curtain that was pushed too one side of the doorway.   


"So, who's it for?" Chelsea whispered excitedly. I looked over at my friend and her smug smile. I couldn't help but arch an eyebrow at her odd behavior.   


"A friend." She made a disapproving noise.   


"Yeah, okay, a friend." She scoffed and pat my back with more strength than need be. I wasn't caught off guard, often times Chels didn't realize her own strength, but somehow I knew now wasn't one of those times.   


"What, he is!" I insisted, defensively folding my arms in front of my chest.   


"Then what about me?" I raised an eyebrow. "What would my tea taste like?" I didn't answer out of what I convinced myself was integrity. But the gently tapping of Chelsea's foot and the faint sound of stone against stone pushed me closer to the edge. "If you can describe what kind of tea your friends would like what about me?"   


"Um," I thought for a minute unsure of how to answer her. "Something energetic, sweet, and fruity. But it needs an undertone of something. . . delicate. Maybe floral." The man came out of the back room with heavy steps and a large tin can in his hand. His appearance was enough to end her badgering.   


"That's going to be five-hundred coin." He said, peppermint and tobacco blowing towards me again. I dug out my wallet and paid the man, giving him a little extra for being so helpful. "Thank you kindly miss."   


"No thank you." I said earnestly, giving him a final wave as we left the store. When we stepped back out into the light, I immediately looked up at the sun which was starting to hang low in the sky. "You want to head back soon? Vaughn must be getting worried." I asked.   


"I guess." She said with a yawn, stretching her arms up over her head and revealing the very bottom of her growing baby bump. Slowly we started to make our way down the streets in a content silence, passing groups of friends and families hanging out in the warm breeze. A few children darted past us, excitedly cheering about getting ice-cream and the movie they were going to go see. Their mothers followed them at a leisurely pace that mirrored Chelsea's and my own. As we turned down a side street that led to the dock she spoke up again. "When did you learn all this stuff about tea?" I wasn't entirely caught off guard by her sudden question. Even still I didn't have much of an answer.   


"I just really like tea. It's delicious, everyone sells it, and it has a wide range of flavors. I live right next to a town that grows their own tea leaves, it not really a mystery." I didn't think that was something I told Chelsea before, but it was a relatively uninteresting fact. "I mean I can't make my own tea blends but if I go into stores like that I can make some educated guesses." Once you had a general sense of someone's taste in food you could easily figure out what they might like for tea. "I swear it's not a niche superpower I have because it's no different than picking out any other present."   


"I guess so." She admitted, clearly unsatisfied with my response. "If it was some weird sixth sense that would've been a pretty lame one." I gently elbowed her in the ribs, making her laugh.   


The moment we returned to the ranch Chelsea started dinner while I started to pack for my early departure tomorrow. I had been staying in their guest bedroom which was slowly transforming into a nursery. The walls were painted the stark white of a base coat and what little furniture remained in the room was pushed away from the walls. I could smell Vaughn's porridge and our macaroni and cheese cooking in the kitchen. Even if she wasn't eating it, once a week she would cook her husband his favorite food. I always found it endearing. I could hear Chelsea squealing in what I hoped was excitement.   


Without a second thought I dropped the clothing I was packing and ran downstairs to make sure everything was okay. When I came to the foot of the stairs I saw Vaughn kneeling down with his hands on her stomach. "I can't believe our little peanut is moving already." A huge grin was plastered on his face as he stared at his hands, clearly wanting the baby to move again. Never before had they looked so happy and whole. I wrapped my arms around my chest and leaned against the wall of the stairwell, watching my two closest friends. It warmed my heart, making me realize that I one day wanted this for myself. Phillip's hopes came true, I hadn't given up on the idea of a happy ending.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wall Flower: fidelity through adversity.


	22. Jonquil

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally the song Cam was listening to was an English version “La Vie En Rose”. Seeing as I used that if my Fallout 4 fic it felt weird to use the same song twice. While yes the mention of roses certainly helps the song work in this story the older music of Fallout 4 makes it feel like a better fit. So I had to find a replacement song which was harder than I thought (mostly because my musical tastes lies in the 80s to 90s). I know Frank Sinatra doesn't have the same musical feel as Édith Piaf but I tried my best to find lyrics that had a similar vibe.

_ "With each word your tenderness grows _ _   
_ _ Tearin' my fear apart _ _   
_ _ And that laugh, wrinkles your nose _ _   
_ _ Touches my foolish heart _ __   


_ Lovely, never, never change _ _   
_ _ Keep that breathless charm _ _   
_ _ Won't you please arrange it?  _ _   
_ _ 'Cause I love you _ _   
_ _ A-just the way you look tonight." _   
  
I heard a heavy knock at my door. I reluctantly paused my CD player. "Come in." I didn't even bother sitting up. I just kept my eyes locked on my ceiling.   
  
"What has my little Chamomile so down?" The corners of my lips turned down. I didn't know which I disliked more, his nickname for me or the fact that he was calling me little.   
  
"Please stop calling me that." I knew my request was futile. I had tried multiple times before and he hadn't stopped yet.   
  
"Never." I could hear the smile in his voice. The edge of my bed dipped down as he took a seat near my legs. "Now, talk to me, what's going on?"   
  
"Nothing." I answered quickly.   
  
"I doubt that very much. You've been hiding in your room whenever you get the chance. Avoiding Laney, Ash and I like the plague."   
  
"I just want to be alone, there's nothing wrong with that." Isolating wasn't exactly a new occurrence, it mostly happens when something became emotionally draining, but it hasn't happened in years. The last time I withdrew myself for so long was when my mother left.   
  
"Well Laney told me you had a date with that girl Reina a few weeks ago."   
  
"So?" I asked defensively. The last thing I'd wanted was for people to get involved. Maybe I should've tried to act more normal.   
  
"Correct me if I'm wrong here, but I could've sworn you and Lillian had some chemistry." I propped myself up on one elbow and saw him smiling knowingly at me. My eyes narrowed as I shot a glare.   
  
"No. I don't." At least, I couldn't like her in that way. Not when it put my relationship at risk.   
  
"Uh-huh." He knew it was a bluff. I hated how he could read me like a book but parents, good parents that is, learned how to do that.   
  
"Even if I did, which I  _ don't _ ," I made sure I emphasized that. ", it wouldn't matter."   
  
"Because of Ash?" My shoulders stiffened and I turned away from him.   
  
"Whatever." His large hand grabbed my shoulder and gently pulled me up into a sitting position.   
  
"You know, sacrificing yourself for others only leads to misery." I looked at him out of the corner of my eye, lacking the courage to face him directly.   
  
"I know." I knew he was right. When i was younger Ayame mentioned something to me that started to play in the back of my mind.  __ You shouldn't be afraid to take put yourself out there out of fear of being abandoned . I let her words play on repeat as I thought.   
  
"Tell me something," I waited. ", do you feel happy around her?"   
  
"You know the answer to that." It was obvious how I felt around her.   
  
"No. I want to hear you say it." He demanded. This was the most sincere I had ever seen this man in a long time.   
  
"Yes."   
  
"If Ash is really willing to cut you out of their life for being happy is he really someone you want in it?" I had no response. "Learn to value yourself; if you don't you are a very stupid man."   
  


* * *

  
Another hot summer day, another afternoon lounging on a low hanging tree branch. Ever since I got back from the islands I had been avoiding people now more than ever. I watched Georgia and Laney walk towards me, towels in hand. I nodded a hello to them.   
  
"Hey Lillian, we're going swimming at the waterfall, wanna come?" The chef asked. Ever since she cut my hair Laney and I were on better terms. I didn't consider her an acquaintance but we had some sort of understanding. I pretended to think about it. My immediate answer was no, seeing as I'd been avoiding water since my parents passed.   
  
"I think I'm going to have to pass. I'm really busy."   
  
"Doing what? Napping?” Georgia shot back. “Come on, we're meeting Nori and Reina for a girl's day." Georgia pleaded, using her best puppy-dog eyes. The idea of Reina being there made me want to stay here more, the last thing I wanted was to hear about how good her and Cam were.  _ It's not her fault you didn't make a move. _ I reminded myself.   
  
"Fine." I agreed with a sigh and hopped out of the tree, meeting the two halfway. "Do you mind if I run to my house and grab an old pair of shorts or something?" Georgia raised an eyebrow.   
  
"Don't you own a swimsuit?" I did, I wasn't sure why I hung onto it considering it never got any use.   
  
"Yeah, but it's not exactly something I feel comfortable in." I muttered.   
  
"It's just us girls, you have nothing to worry about, right Laney?" The blonde nodded.   
  
"Alright, do you mind waiting for me while I get it on? It shouldn't take longer than ten, fifteen minutes, tops." The two nodded.

-×-   
  


When we reached the waterfall, Reina and Nori were already swimming in the river. I could barely see what their swimsuits looked like beneath the water but I could tell Nori's suit was a bright white and Reina's was some shade of blue. The river didn't have a shallow area for me to sit in as it dropped off suddenly into deep waters. Waist high while sitting was the deepest i was willing to go. Once Laney and Georgia were close enough they took off at a sprint and ran under the tall bridge that covered the river so they could strip down in a somewhat private area. I on the other hand slowly made my way towards the dock. As the women ran past me again I caught sight of Georgia's green suit and Laney's black one before they jumped into the water. The large splash caught the attention of Nori, who until now was peacefully floating on her back.

I took a seat on the dock, keeping my tee shirt and shorts on while I dangled my legs into the cool water. The two Bluebell women booed me and began splashing me with water. I couldn't help but laugh and kick waves of water back at them.   
  
"You're no fun!" Georgia stuck her tongue out at me. I don't know why I didn't explain my fear to them, it wasn't exactly a crazy thing and they'd understand. Then again, I didn't want to recount the tale so close to their anniversary.   
  
"I know." I was soaked from the barrage of splashing. There was no point in keeping my shirt on so I  peeled the damp article off my torso revealing a pink bikini top.   
  
"Lillian, what happened to your hair?" Nori asked, politely keeping her eyes off my neck.   
  
"Laney gave me a much needed cut." I said casually as I ran my fingers through my damp hair. I didn't want many people knowing the details of what happened. Though in a small village like Bluebell rumors were bound to spread. "Enough about me what about you? Have you made any progress with Dirk?" I clumsily changed the subject.   
  
"Yes, he finally asked me out on a date." The slender woman swam up to me. "We went to Yun's and it was marvelous." Her cheeks flushed. "We're seeing one another later today." A large smile was plastered on her face.   
  
"I told you it would happen in time." I leaned forward slightly and reached out to pat her head.   
  
"Speaking of dates, Reina you never told me how your date went." My blood froze when Laney spoke.   
  
"It sucked." I looked over at the brunette now curious.   
  
"What happened?" She whined.   
  
"I dunno, it was just weird. When I first got there he didn't even notice that I had arrived, he was too busy reading, we barely spoke the whole time, and he didn't want me to bring back wildflower specimens to study." Reina started floating on her back. I was trying so hard not to be happy about their failed date. I didn't want to be someone who was so focused on my own life that I was excited out my friends having a bad time; but right now I was and I felt horrible about it. Even if it didn't go well that didn't stop me from being hurt.   
  
"What? You two are so perfect for one another." Laney sounded genuinely surprised.   
  
"Sure they're both interested in flowers but that doesn't mean they're perfect for one another." The words spilled forth before I could think better of it.   
  
"I disagree, they're both really similar personality wise." It was too late to back out now so I continued on shaking my head at Laney's comment.   
  
"I'll admit they're kinda similar on a surface level, but maybe that was the problem." I started to regret opening my mouth. "Besides, sometimes you need someone who's different than you. So you can balance one another out."   
  
"Like you know my brother better than I do." She sounded almost offended that I didn't agree with her.   
  
"I think she has a point." Nori being my saving grace, decided to put her two cents in.   
  
"All I'm saying is, just look at the three people in his life he's close to. You, your father, and Ash. All of you are very outgoing. Your positive personalities counter his introverted nature. The same rule applies to romantic relationships." I just could not stop talking no matter how much my brain told me to stop.   
  
"I," I warily stared at Laney, half-expecting her to get defensive. ", I guess that makes sense." I couldn't help but smile.   
  
"Laney." The blonde turned her attention to Reina. "Please don't set me up again." The way she dryly delivered that request made me want to laugh.   
  
"So," Georgia started after a few peaceful minutes of silence. "How was your trip?"   
  
"It could have been a lot better." The only part I liked about it was seeing Chelsea and Vaughn again.   
  
"Oh dear, what happened?"   
  
"Let's just say it wasn't the best circumstances." I focused on the waves my feet made as I gently kicked back and forth.   
  
"I'm sorry to hear that."   
  
"It's okay." I reluctantly agreed. "But let's focus on something cheerful.” I decided to forego the ‘subtle’ topic change this time. “How did everyone enjoy the festival?"   
  
"It was fun." Laney said. "I wish you two could have been there." She directed that statement to Reina and Nori.   
  
"Why did you guys go?" I arched an eyebrow.   
  
"We aren't allowed." Reina said bluntly.   
  
"Why not?"   
  
"The only way the mayors agree to a group festival is Harmony Day and the New Years." Nori noted.   
  
"New Year's?" That one surprised me. "I get Harmony Day, seeing as it's about harmony and all that, but New Year's? What's that symbolize?" The girls laughed.   
  
"I think it has something to do with burying the hatchet for a few weeks. At least until the first cooking festival. Then the rivalry starts back up and we go through the whole cycle again." There was a noticeable irritated tone in Reina's voice.   
  
"That's ridiculous." I couldn't believe that two neighboring towns went to such lengths to exclude one another.   
  
"Yes but each year the peace lasts just a little bit longer." Nori chimed in. "So in the end it's worth it." I mulled her words over in my mind. Maybe one day both towns could get along.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jonquil: I desire a return of affection


	23. Red Tulips

It was the first day of fall, and I had been avoiding Cam at all costs. That meant no food at Howard's and no foraging in the mountains on his days off. The only day I could do whatever I wanted to was Mondays. Despite it being a Tuesday afternoon, today was his birthday and he could be doing anything. To avoid bumping into him I opted to sit at home and occupy my time with movies and avoiding contact with the outside world.

Just as the zombies broke into the mall a knock sounded at my door. Hoping it was Eileen or Georgia as I opened it without hesitation, I had no such luck. I was met with the sight of Cam, standing casually in my doorway. I groaned internally.   
  
"Hi." I said, struggling to keep my voice flat.   
  
"May I come in?" He asked. I stood still for a moment weighing my options before I stepped to the side and let him in   
  
"So, what's up?" I forced a smile as best I could but I could feel how fake it looked. Cam just looked at me. What were once vivid green eyes were clouded, taking on a darker color. It was like looking out at a field during a thunderstorm. His brows creased the longer he looked at me.   
  
"I just came by to say hi. You know, see how you're doing." Admittedly it was nice to see him after so long, I hadn't realized how much I'd missed him until now. 

 

* * *

 

I hated this distance we had. My idea to be nothing but friends wasn't possible anymore. I wasn't sure when Lillian became more than a friend, but ignoring it was no an option. Being around Reina for an afternoon was unpleasant and uncomfortable. Not like the time I spent with Lillian.   
  
"I'm fine, thank you." Her words were harsh. I could feel how hurt she was and it was like a punch to the gut.   
  
"No you're not." Why was she even trying to lie about it? "I haven't seen you in over two weeks. What's bothering you?"   
  
"What's bothering me?" She asked in a mocking tone. "You. You're bothering me." She snapped, spinning around to face me. Her tone caught me off guard but the answer wasn't surprising. If I was in her shoes I'd be feeling the same way. "I thought we were. . . . or you, well at least I- you know,” Lillian struggled to form a complete sentence. With a shake of her head she kept talking. “, but  _ nooo _ . Next thing I know you're insisting I go home and then you're going out with Reina.” The farmer moved her hands wildly as she spoke in an attempt to emphasize her frustration. “Which, ya know is like, whatever, but then you have the audacity to try and tell me what to do." She groaned, lifting a hand up to gesture at me before continuing. "Then you swing by acting like everything is hunky dory. Who the hell do you think you are?" She jammed a finger into chest as she spoke. For a woman who was a foot shorter than me  she was intimidating.   
  
"I-I'm – " I stammered, not knowing what to say. There were tears forming in the corners of her eyes and it made me feel a thousand times worse.   
  
"You're what? An ass? A jerk? An idiot?" The way her cheeks flushed and her nose twitched was beautiful, even now when she rightfully insulted me.   
  
"No, well maybe." I looked down at my feet, and gathered the courage I desperately needed to be honest with her. When at last I worked up enough courage to talk I lifted my head to meet her gaze. I had never been upfront about my feelings before and it was terrifying. Vibrant cerulean eyes peered into mine, hypnotizing me and making me forget how to speak. Everything I was going to say had vanished in the blink of an eye. 

With an unprecedented amount of courage I placed my hands on her shoulders and leaned forward to kiss her. I could feel her entire body stiffen under my hands and my blood ran cold.

_ Oh Gods, that wasn't the reaction I was hoping for _ . I started to pull away in an attempt to rectify my mistake but as I retreated I felt her soft lips move against mine. After a few seconds I pulled away to look at her. Lillian looked as surprised as I felt.   
  
"W-what was that?" She blinked her large eyes a few times as she stared at me.   
  
"I don't exactly know." I had no idea what came over me. That was the only thing I could think of. Clearly that wasn't the answer she was expecting. She stepped back and placed a hand on each of her hips.   
  
"You don't know?" She laughed in disbelief.   
  
"No. I do know." Maybe taking Howard's advice wasn't the best idea.   
  
"Well, which is it?" I took a few beats to straighten my thoughts.   
  
"It's, I've wanted to do that for a while now but each time I thought about you like that, I'd remember Ash." She was about to interject but I cut her off. "So to get my mind off you I let Laney set me up on a blind date. But it was Reina and she was just so boring and judgmental, and every time she opened her mouth it made me realize how much I'd rather be spending time with you. So I finally said 'fuck it' and just went for it." My cheeks burned as the words spilled forth like vomit. I chose to ignore the fact that she was staring at me knowing I'd lose my courage again if I looked at her. "And I'm not too good at talking about anything, especially this kinda stuff, but I just wanted to tell you that I really like you. But I understand if you don't feel the same way after the whole Reina thing. I'm sorry that I was an ass." I practically gasped for air when I finished rambling.  Cam scowled.   
  
"I'm,” Her melodic giggles knocked the wind from my sails. “, I'm  sorry, I don't mean to laugh." I frowned as her laughter increased. "But you're so cute when you're flustered."   
  
"I'm so thrilled I could amuse you." I responded in a sardonic tone. "I guess that's my answer, huh?" With that I turned to leave but I felt her pull on my vest.   
  
"Are you hard of hearing?"   
  
"No I heard the mocking laughter perfectly fine." She spun me back around despite my resistance. I refused to make direct eye contact but I saw her roll her eyes before removing my hat.   
  
"I'm not laughing at you you dummy, I called you cute." The farmer proceeded to hit me on the head with the wool cap. I froze, not believing what I was hearing. "And I'm laughing because I'm happy." She looked up at me with a Cheshire grin. "I wanted to hear you say that for so long. I started to worry that it was all in my head." Her voice was soft now and she pulled me forward into a hug, fingers grabbing the fabric of my shirt. “ I'd love to be your girlfriend, but I don't want to rush things." I couldn't resist the smile that was forming even if I wanted to.   
  
"We can go as slow as you'd like." I agreed quietly, wrapping my arms around her torso to bring her in closer. "I take it you forgive me?" I teased before kissing the top of her head.   
  
"Of course." She stepped back slightly and pulled me down by my tie into another kiss. I had to bend down slightly as she stood on her toes, our lips meeting in the middle. This time I took my time to savor it. The feeling of her lips against mine, the scent of her coconut shampoo, the lightness I felt in my chest despite my heart racing a mile a minute.   
  


"This is slow?" I couldn't resist the urge to tease her.   
  
"I wasn't ready the first time. I wanted to fully enjoy it." She purred and released my tie. When she flexed her hand I noticed her wince.   
  
"Your wrist still hurts?" She nodded.   
  
"No too much, Ayame said it would take a while to heal since it was a bad sprain. I should really stop moving it but dominant hand and what not." I delicately lifted her chin and looked at the angry red scar on her neck.   
  
"And this?" My brows knit together. I couldn't help but still feel responsible for what had happened. If I hadn't left her alone that day she'd be fine.   
  
"Well the stitches are out and it's supposed to fade over time." She smiled innocently. "If it's anything like the scars I got as a kid it'll be barely noticeable in a year." She pat my face a few times in an attempt to comfort me. I still couldn't forgive myself. "Promise." There was an odd silence between us that was broken by Luna mewing. I crouched down and pet the black cat. She was six months old now and despite looking like an adult cat but she still behaved like the kitten she was. As I tried to pet her she'd bat away at my hand, claws at the ready.   
  
"Somebody's full of beans today." Dug her claws in and pulled my hand down to chew on my thumb lightly. "Has she been out lately?" Lillian shook her head.   
  
"Not exactly." She said sheepishly. "I've been a bit of a recluse lately, if you couldn't tell, so I needed some company."   
  
"I figured." I knocked the cat over on her side and started to scratch the fur on her chest.   
  


* * *

 

"So. I hate to mention the elephant in the room," He looked up at me through bits of dirty-blonde hair. "How do we tell people?" Cam released a sigh.   
  
"Listen, they'll find out eventually, but who says that has to be now? Let them figure it out on their own. We can just enjoy this and deal with things as they come." Admittedly, that was way better than my idea. I could only imagine how Howard would bounce and giggle, Laney wouldn't be too happy, and Ash. . . I shook the thoughts out of my mind.   
  
"Are you sure?" I knew Ash would be the biggest problem.   
  
"If he can't be happy for me than he's not worth worrying about." Cam said standing up again. I nodded in agreement, not knowing what else we could do at this point. "I know this is a bit sudden but Howard is throwing me a small birthday party tonight and I'd like you to be there."   
  
"I'd love to."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Red Tulips: declaration of love


	24. Gilly Flower

Before I got changed for his party I had to wrap his present. I hadn't exactly planned on wrapping it for him but now I kind of had to. I wasn't even sure what wrapping paper I had, if I had any. I knew for sure if I had some it would be stored under my bed. On my hands and knees I dug around, pulling boxes out hoping one of them contained something that involved gift wrap. In a small beaten up cardboard box was a stash of gift boxes I had received throughout the years. 

I dug through them realizing all but one were holiday themed. It was the only plain one i had so despite it being about six square inches in size it would have to do. I set the large blue box to the side and continued to dig around for ribbon or bows of any kind. The only thing I could find were white rolls of lace ribbon leftover from Chelsea's and Vaughn's wedding.  

_ It'll have to do _ . I sighed and I went downstairs. When I put the eight ounce tea tin in the box I realized how comically large it was and wrapped the thinnest lace ribbon I found around the package and tied it in a bow at the top. I stared at it, it's inanimate existence almost mocking. "This is a pathetic gift." Up until today I thought it was a pretty decent gift, but something about actually being a couple made me think it was less than what it should have been. "Too late now.” I grumbled, leaving the large blue box on my table so I could go shower and get dressed.   
  


-×-

  
I looked down at my sweater dress and black leggings noticing both were covered in a layer of cat hair. I gripped the gift tightly in my good hand and knocked on the door with the other. It was too late to change now. A very excited Howard opened the door. "Lillian sweetie, you look so cute. Please come in." The wall of a man stepped to the side to let me into the café.   
  
"Thanks Howard. I hope I'm not early," I looked to see Ash, Cam and Laney sitting at the large table in the café. Everyone that Cam was close to was here already. “, or late."    
  
"No, no you're right on time." I took a few steps in, the scent of soup making my stomach growl. I looked behind me and pointed to the package in my arms.   
  
"Where should I, uh, put this?" Without missing a beat he grabbed the gift from me and put it on the counter. "Okay then." I uncomfortably stood there and looked to my right at the large table in the corner. I couldn't stop myself from wondering where exactly I should sit. Cam nodded slightly to the empty seat between him and Laney. I looked over to Howard who was serving portions of Tom Yum Goong into large bowls before I took my seat. "Sorry if I'm late." I smiled at the three politely.   
  
"That's okay, no one would expect  _ you _ to be right on time." Ash laughed a little at his own joke. I blushed slightly, embarrassed that I got that reputation. Beneath the almost overpowering scent of soup I could smell a cake baking.   
  
"So, Laney, how's the baking going?" I asked, trying to get the attention off of me. She looked up at me with the same green eyes that Cam had. I knew that Ash was his brother but I never put too much thought into his relationship with Laney and Howard. It was clear that they were in-fact related, but I wasn't sure how.   
  
"It's going well. I've been working on a new recipe lately. It's a new type of cheese cake that I'm planning on mixing with tiramisu. It's been a little difficult to get it down pat."   
  
"That sounds delicious. If you ever need someone to do a taste test you can count me in!" I gently nudged Cam with my elbow. "Especially since the Pansy King here hates sweets." Everyone but Cam laughed. I winked at him, which caused him to roll his eyes.    
  
After the bowls had been cleared away I offered to help clean up. "Nonsense, you're our guest, and besides it's time for presents." Howard sang, carrying the small pile of gifts over to the table.   
  
"Dad be careful! Some of those might be breakable." She shot him a look.   
  
"I got it." He dismissed his daughters warning and placed the well balanced tower down on the table beside Cam. "Now, open mine first." He shoved one of the smallest boxes into the florists hands. He carefully lifted the lid up and pulled out a small glass vase that was flecked in a combination of red, orange and gold hues. The way the colors were carefully swirled in between layers of clear glass cast colorful shadows on the table below. Between that and the symmetry of the piece showed that it was well crafted. "I thought you could use it in your room, instead of that bulky one you have."   
  
"It's lovely, thank you." Cam flashed a warm smile towards Howard. He carefully set the vase in the center of the table to prevent it from breaking.   
  
"Mine next." Ash excitedly handed him his gift. Cam did as he was asked and opened Ash's. I looked at the wrapping that the others used for their gifts and then looked at mine. For a sub-standard present it had fancier wrapping than the rest. I returned my focus to Cam as he pulled out two pairs of shears in different sizes. "I noticed yours were looking a little worse for wear and thought you needed a backup pair."   
  
"I did." Ash held out his fist, Cam gently bumped it with his. "Thanks man." Ash grinned.   
  
"I guess you can open mine next," I suggested. ", it's the frilly one." I pointed to the lace covered box. He nodded and picked up the present. He pulled at the tails of the bow and removed the lace. My heart started to beat as he opened the lid suddenly afraid he wouldn't like it.   
  
"Tea?" I nervously started to spin my mother's ring around my middle finger. He opened the tin canister and took a whiff. "I don't recognize this blend. What is it?"   
  
"I'm not sure if you'll like it. It's a custom chai mix." I could feel my cheeks getting hot as everyone looked on. "I had it made for you while I was on the Islands. It has some additional ingredients added including some clove, cinnamon, ginger, and cardamom." I looked over at his gentle smile and my chest began to tighten.   
  
"I'm sure it's delicious." He closed the lid tightly and set it in the box with his new tools.   
  
"Oh Lillian, that's so sweet of you." Howard cooed, I smiled awkwardly and avoided his gaze.   
  
"Now mine." Laney handed him the largest box. He opened her gift. I peered over to see a bunch of tissue paper wrapped around mysterious objects. Carefully he picked up a bundle and unwrapped it to reveal a glass vial. Cam looked up, an eyebrow arched in confusion. "I thought you could start to make your own perfume blends out of essential oils." He continued to unwrap the numerous small phials. Each of the vials were labeled with a different flower, herb, or general scent name. This gift made mine look pathetic, in fact, all of these made mine look bad.   
  
"That's . . . um wow, thank you." Judging by his reaction he seemed surprised to get such a present.   
  
"Cake time." Howard sang. I could see the uncomfortable look on Cam's face. Laney cleared the table of the gifts and boxes, moving them to a smaller table on the other side of the dining room.    
  
"Hey, is it okay if I bring a piece back for Cheryl? She'd be devastated if she didn't get a slice." The mention of Cheryl made me wonder why she wasn't here. It was obvious that Jessica didn't like Cam too much, but he and Cheryl were somewhat related.   
  
"Sure I'll wrap a slice up after Cam here blows out the candles." Howard set the large buttercream coated cake down in front of Cam. "Now make a wish." With one breath every candle was out. Everyone started to clap so I joined in. "Happy birthday." Howard cheered placing a large hand on the florists head.   
  
Cam started to cut everyone a slice. Laney and Howard got the biggest pieces. Cheryl, Ash and I got medium sized slices, and to avoid being rude, Cam cut himself a miniscule piece. Thankfully there was absolutely no chocolate in the cake. I could tell he was relieved. Even though Howard knew Cam hated chocolate, he would be the type to get carried away and make extravagant food. I finished my slice quickly and looked over at the slice Cam was picking at. I leaned over and discretely swapped the plates as everyone else chatted happily. He looked over at me with a grateful smile. I gave him a small nod and ate the remainders of his piece.   
  
"Cam, you ate the whole slice this time, " Ash said as he looked over at the empty plate. ", I'm actually impressed." The younger man pat him on the back.   
  
"Maybe he's starting to like my baking." Laney added.   
  
"It took long enough." The two snickered. Ash looked out the window. "Wow, it's getting late. Cheryl's probably getting impatient." He stood and hit his brother on the back again. "Happy birthday man, I'll see you around." Howard handed the strawberry-blonde his sister's slice and showed him out.   
  
"Laney could you help me with the dishes." With a nod Laney left the table to help her father, leaving the two of us to ourselves.   
  
"Do you need to go home and put your animals away for the night?" I looked over at him, confused. I had told him that I had put them away before I came here, so I could stay late. He shot me a look, making it click for me.   
  
"Um, yeah, I do. It's dark out though, would you mind walking me home?" I   
  
"Not at all." I smiled.   
  


-×-

  
When we reached the edge of town he wrapped his arm around my shoulder and pulled me in close as we walked in a comfortable silence. Off in the distance I heard owls and crickets singing away into the night, adding to the peaceful moment. 

"You look beautiful tonight." I felt the warmth return to my face when he spoke.   
  
"Thanks." I pulled lightly at the edge of my sweater dress. I looked up at his soft emerald eyes from under my lashes. "I really hope you like the tea." He turned my face to his. "I know it's nothing special but-" I was cut off by his lips pressing against mine.   
  
"It's an absolutely perfect gift." He pulled back and gently kissed my forehead. "I love it." Cam mumbled against my skin.   
  
"Happy twenty. . ." I let my sentence trail off, realizing I didn't know how old he was.   
  
"Third." He noted.   
  
"Twenty third birthday." I hugged him tightly.   
  
"Thank you Lily." I looked up at him somewhat surprised, he didn't strike me as the type to use a nickname. I watched as a blush crept across his face. "I-I uh hope you don't mind that. I just thought-" I pushed my finger to his lips.   
  
"It's just like the flower." I smiled. "So, it's perfect." I lifted myself up on my toes and kissed him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gilly flower: bonds of affection.


	25. Butterfly Weed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm gonna be honest with you guys; I've never liked this chapter. I've always been disappointed with it and despite reworking it 10+ times I don't think I'll ever like it. I would cut it completely but it sets things up for future chapters. Maybe it's just too melodramatic for my tastes. . .
> 
> But hey, this is the first time you get to see Phillip so that's something.

I knocked on Vaughn's front door and waited patiently for someone to answer. I knew if it was Chelsea answering it would take her a while to get to the door, especially if she was sitting. I waited patiently hearing the occasional muffled grunt coming from the other side of the door.   
  
"Oh, forget it!" Chelsea snapped in frustration. "Just come in the door's unlocked." I pushed the heavy door open to see the pregnant brunette struggling to stand.   
  
"Need a hand?" I was trying my best to not laugh at my sister's pregnant friend while I watched her wiggle and kick as she attempted to stand up. Chelsea had always been so nimble, even as a gawky teen, but now she couldn't even manage to get out of a chair. She looked up at me, clearly surprised by my presence.   
  
"Umm, yeah." I extended my hand. 

"Grab the wrist, you'll have a better grip." She gave me a sharp nod and I tightly gripped her wrist. "On three. Ready?" Another nod. "One. Two. Three." I stepped back and pulled my arm back towards me and Chelsea made it to her feet with ease.   
  
"I'm gonna have to teach Vaughn that trick.” She said smoothing out the wrinkles on her shirt. “So, Phillip, how can I help you?"   
  
"I knew Lilypad was here recently." I said, not bothering with the pleasantries I knew she didn't want to hear. "I wanted to see her but I didn't want to put her through that considering why she was here. . ." My sentence trailed off and I rubbed the back of my neck awkwardly, not having the courage to directly talk about our parents death. "So I wanted to know, how was she?"   
  
"She's doing well. I mean, she's healing." The day Chelsea found out about what happened she stormed to my house in a blind rage, screaming at me for something I didn't know happened. I had never been so terrified of a woman ten years my junior. I never blamed her for being to pissed, I was angry at myself too.    
  
"I didn't know he would do that." She shook her head.   
  
"I, mean, that too. But I didn't mean it like that."   
  
"I know what you meant." I sighed, my heart heavy with guilt. "Do you think she'll ever forgive me?" I knew it was a long shot. After pushing her the way I did, I'd consider myself lucky if she spoke to me again.   
  
"I think she has already started to." I looked up to see a solemn but kind smile of her face. "Yes she's hurt by your actions, but in a way I think she understands why you did what you did. It's still the dumbest plan I've ever heard and it makes you a fucking asshole." She transitioned from the demeanor of a wise sage to vicious dog seamlessly. The dark haired woman let out a large sigh before she spoke again. "You didn't ask Will to attack her as some part of your grand plan." She paused contemplating something. "I haven't forgiven you, clearly,” I wanted to roll my eyes but that wouldn't earn me any brownie points. “, you did some messed up shit, some really fucked up shit." Chelsea didn't pull any punches, she'd always been brutally honest, I just didn't like hearing the truth. "If it were me I'd want  you flogged and your kneecaps broken." I knew those threats weren't exactly hollow, the second Lillian moved away I got more than an earful from Chelsea. I deserved it then and I more than deserved it now.  _ I really am a shitty brother. Strike that, a shitty person _ . I thought. "But then again, Lillian is much more forgiving than I." Her voice switched back to a more pleasant tone.   
  


* * *

  
I was sketching bouquet ideas for Rutger. He had ordered a few for the fall music festival and I wanted to give him a few options to pick from. My idea was to use flowers that bloom in the fall or had fall colors. I had my heart set on chrysanthemums and goldenrod, with red or orange leaves as the greenery. I was so absorbed in my concept sketches I didn't notice Ash arrive.   
  
"Morning Cam." I grunted a hello, trying to stay focused on my designs. I wasn't surprised by his arrival since it was a Wednesday, but I was worried he'd bring up Lillian. "Hey, umm, Cam. Can I ask you something?"   
  
"You just did." My bad joke managed to earn a chuckle from the farmhand.   
  
"But, I umm, couldn't help but notice the gift you got from Lillian. It was really thoughtful of her. What's going on there? I mean, I know you aren't together but I was just curious if you could lend me a hand." I looked up at my eager half brother. Whenever he got excited or nervous he just went on and on, saying much more than need be; I mean I had that issue too but it was nowhere close to his level of rambling. "I was kinda hoping you could talk me up, since you're friends and all.” I opened my mouth to stop him but he just kept going. “So will ya help?” It was obvious this wasn't going to stop anytime soon. No matter how many times she made it obvious that she wasn't interested, it just wasn't going to stop. Each rejection she gave hurt him but I'd be damned if that didn't make him more determined. I dropped my pencils and sat up tall, looking him in the face.   
  
"Ash, you need to stop." I attempted to have it come out like a suggestion by my words came out more harsh than I anticipated. His eyes widened at my response.   
  
"What?" He let out a small laugh as if it was a joke, completely oblivious to the truth.   
  
"Just. Stop." I insisted.   
  
"No need to get defensive." He then felt to need to explain his reasoning, as if I didn't know already. "I know what you're thinking, she already turned me down. But!” He damn near shouted, interrupting me again. “But, that was a while ago, and I figure it's been long enough for her to move past whatever happened." My eyes narrowed. I wasn't sure if i was more annoyed at the fact that he wouldn't respect Lillian's space or if it was his unwavering pursuit of the girl I was dating nut I was quickly losing my patience with Ash.   
  
"She isn't interested in you. Hasn't she made that clear?" I got no response so I picked up a marigold colored pencil and started to fill in one of the leaves. "Just, move on. The longer you pine after her the worse your rejections are gonna be." My voice was cold. I just wanted this to end.    
  
"How do you know what she'll do?" I never noticed how dense Ash could be at times. He was twenty two. I shouldn't even have to have conversations like this.   
  
"Seriously?" I stared at him blankly. I could see the pieces falling into place in his head as he put it all together. The hurt washed over his face like a tidal wave.   
  
"How could you?" I threw my colored pencil down again, I could feel my anxiety build up in my chest. He had no idea how difficult it was for me to let us happen in the first place. This was what I was dreading when I took Howard's advice. "You couldn't let me have this one, could you?" I felt a headache expand from my temples and encompass my entire head. I took a few deep breaths, trying to calm myself. "You just had to be selfish, didn't you." That was it. That pushed me over the line.   
  
"How could _ I _ ?" I stood quickly and leaned over the counter, keeping my voice low. "For all my life I've been dealing with your mothers bullshit just so I can have you in my life. The only people I have managed to be close with are my family members. And yet the first time I actually start to open up and have feelings for someone, you expect me to ignore those just because you can't understand the meaning of 'I just want to be friends'." I didn't mention the fact that she was an adult and made her own decisions. "And yet you're so focused on Lillian, who doesn't see you as anything but a friend, that you're oblivious to the fact that Laney has been pining after you for years." It felt as if I was in a bad teen drama. I felt a little guilty for spilling Laney's ‘secret’ like that but that was the least important emotion I was feeling. "If you can't be happy for me I don't want you around me." I pointed towards his farm. I could see the look of betrayal in his eyes but I was done with his self centered attitude. A lot more came out that I planned on, but it all needed to be said at one point or another. I sat back down and just looked over my sketches while I waited for him to leave.   
  


* * *

  
"I'll be there in a second." I called to the impatient pounding at my door. I left my paint covered brush on the half finished chair. I opened the door only to feel lips pressed against mine in record time. Something about it wasn't right. This wasn't loving and gentle, it felt like an angry passion. I opened my eyes to see bit of ginger blonde hair. I pushed the body away to see Ash and his red hat. "What the hell is wrong with you?" I snapped.   
  
"You said you'd tell me when you were ready to date but you didn't keep your promise." I groaned, shaking my head at his naivete.   
  
"Have you never been turned down before? I was being  _ polite _ . Clearly I wasn't obvious enough." I wasn't in the mood to deal with this today. I was tired from a late night of sanding the chairs and preparing the beehives.   
  
"You lied." His voice was quiet.   
  
"I didn't lie." I looked down at my feet. "At the time I really wasn't ready but things changed. But that still doesn't change the fact that I only see you as a friend."   
  
"Some way to treat your friend." Ash pouted. My head snapped up and I stepped forward, puffing out my chest.   
  
"Seriously?" I laughed bitterly. "I'm sorry that I hurt your fragile feelings, but I owed you nothing. I didn't need to give you an update on my readiness to date. It's my goddamned right to date whomever I please, I'm sorry you didn't realize that sooner." After everything I'd been through I'd promised myself that my life was under my control. Especially when it came to my my relationships. "Do you really think you had exclusive rights to me?" I saw he was about to speak and I almost screamed. “Are you for real?! Like really? How self centered are you?” I stepped forward to herd him out of my house. I took a few deep breaths to clear my head. I watched as he stood there silently, shoulders hunched in defeat. He didn't even have the courtesy to apologize. “You need to leave.” I said quietly, pointing out the door. Without saying another word he left and I slammed to door behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Butterfly weed: Let me go.


	26. Flax

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time for that tragic back story(tm)

Peacefully we walked down the long road to my house the only sound to be heard was the crunching of dead leaves below our feet. Occasionally I would look at him out of the corner of my eyes. I knew he was bothered by the fact that Ash wasn't speaking to him yet.

"So, tell me." I finally broke the silence between us. He looked over at me, the wind blew honey colored locks of hair in his face. "What happened? Why are you living here?" There had to be a reason but every time I mentioned his family he became uncomfortable. I didn't want to pry but I was curious and didn't want any secrets between us.   
  
"I was raised here." He shrugged, ignoring the topic yet again. I pulled my key out of my pocket. He adjusted the cream houndstooth scarf he was wearing, making sure it wouldn't fall off.   
  
"I meant why. Why with Howard and Laney, why not with your parents?" A lot of his life was a mystery to me. I didn't get a response, he just bit his lower lip. "It's fine if you don't want to talk about it, I just. . . ." As curious as I was I didn't want to push it. He knew about Will and Phillip, it just seemed right. "I'll tell you everything too. Complete honesty from both parties." I tried making it a little more fair. "I can even go first." We stood at my front door and I waited patiently for an answer. After a moment I got a nod. "Inside though." I turned the key, listening for the click. I pushed the heavy oak door open, we started to shed layers of coats and scarves, hanging them up on my coat rack.   
  
"So." I looked at him for a second before realizing I offered to go first.   
  
"Right." I fell back on my couch, wanting to be comfortable when I bared my soul. Cam took a careful seat right beside me. "As you've probably noticed there are some photos laying around of Phil and I with our parents. I was raised by them for most of my childhood. Until, um," My voice started to get caught on the lump that was forming in my throat. I coughed a little in attempt to clear it before speaking again. "One summer my parents went on a vacation. Sort of a second honeymoon thing. I was twelve at the time so I stayed on the farm with Phil." I could feel the familiar sting returning to my eyes. "They took a boat there and back and on the way home a typhoon changed its course and my parents got caught in it. It wasn't that big of a boat so it wasn't difficult for it to get tossed around. I remember when our sherif came over to give us a full report, we thought our parents had delayed leaving because of the storm. Turns out it hit a bunch of rocks, making it sink or blow up or something." I could feel the tears start to spring forth but I tried to stay as calm as possible. "After that it was just me and Phil, he raised me and took care of the farm." Cam wrapped one arm around my shoulder giving me a gentle squeeze. I sat up slightly and laid my head in the crook or his shoulder. I could hear the evenness of his heartbeat and I began to relax. I felt his chest rise and fall as he inhaled deeply below me.   
  
"Well I guess in a way, I'm luckier.” He said after a minute of silence. “My mother and father just left. She fell in love with him, and for a while he was committed to her, eventually he met Jessica and had an affair. I was born and shortly after Ash came along.” He ran through the bullet points quickly. If I didn't know better I'd say his voice was completely emotionless. “From what I overhead he didn't truly love my mother, maybe he never did. So he left her for Jessica. My mother couldn't take care of me all alone,” He paused when his voice cracked and took a deep breath. ", so I was sent to live his my uncle and cousin. I honestly consider them my father and sister though." When I went to look up at him, his face was turned away from me so I couldn't see it. I could tell that this wasn't easy for him. No matter how placid he tried to keep his voice there was an unevenness that betrayed him.   
  
"And your mom?" I asked, worried I was prodding a bit too much.   
  
"I'm not entirely sure." Another deep breath. "I remember seeing her when I was really little. As I got older I saw her less and less, but every birthday and Starry Night Festival I'd get a call. Occasionally I'd get a card or a gift. She always made sure that I knew she never forgot me. But one day," He clenched my upper arm tightly as he tried to regain his composure. “, everything just stopped." Tears welled up in my eyes. I was lucky enough to have both my parents around, but he never got a chance to know either of his. I wrapped my arms around his waist and squeezed with all my strength, burying my face in his chest as I did so. He released my arm and I felt his fingers start stroking my hair, gently twisting it around. "It's okay. I don't like it but after twenty three years I've come to terms with it." I shook my head, rejecting the idea that anyone could be fine with that kind of abandonment. "I promise, I'm the best I'm going to be."   
  
"I'm sorry I asked." I said earnestly.   
  
"Don't apologize. I've never really known anything else, I love what I have now." He stopped twirling my hair. "Besides, you were going to find out sooner or later." I looked up at his kind eyes and couldn't help but smile slightly. "I'm sorry I tried to stop you from going to the Islands." He now understood why I was so adamant about going.   
  
"There's no way you would have known.”   
  
"Still. . ." He started playing with my hair again.   
  
"I'm sorry you'll never get the chance to meet them." A curious look spread across his features. "They would've loved you." I thought for a second. "Although," I paused, trying to sort out my thoughts. "I don't think I would've known you if they were here." He didn't speak right away.   
  
"I guess I could say the same." A warm smile played at his lips. He placed a gentle kiss on my forehead and wrapped his other arm around me. "In a weird way it's worth it."   
  
Slowly my eyes closed, relaxed. With each deep breath I took the floral scent emanating from him became more noticeable. Over time I was growing more attuned to the different scents. I noticed the goldenrod and chrysanthemums he was working with, but underneath that was the hint of cloves. I could tell he had my tea this morning. I couldn't help but think about how different everything would be right now if my parents were around, or if Phillip wasn't so against me leaving, or even if Will wasn't so crazy. I wouldn't be here right now, happy as ever with the man who helped make everything okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Flax: fate


	27. Mourning Bride

I stood there eyeing the farmhand who was moping around my café. Ever since we were young kids he had been a bit of a drama queen and now was no different. My eyes flicked back and forth from him to the apples I was peeling. He hadn't come around here in the past few weeks and it was no surprise why. I had overheard the argument  he had with Cam through a cracked window and it wasn't too pretty. He was oversensitive and oblivious, granted Cam was usually very submissive towards him, so the fact that he stood up from himself was pretty unexpected. Still I couldn't help but feel bad for him. Ash may have dug himself into this hole but that made it worse. In all honesty I didn't mind the fact that my brother was dating Lillian. I wasn't surprised when I figured it out to say the least. Ever since our truce was formed I had actually started to get to know and even like Lillian. I set my apple down and went to the pastry case, opening it up and removing a piece of cake.   
  
"Here." I said placing a slice of cheesecake in front of the man. "It's a new recipe I'm trying out and I want to know if it's any good." His stormy blue eyes looked up at me intrigued by my distraction. "It's inspired by s'mores." I took a seat next to him at the small table. "The crust is graham cracker and the spongy part is chocolate. While the topping is marshmallow." I waited for him to say something, normally he loved testing out my food. I nudged the fork closer to his hand.   
  
"It looks good but . . . I dunno." I looked him, using the best puppy dog eyes I could muster. Finally he cracked a smile. "Alright, fine." He sat up straight and took the fork in his right hand. He did his best to get a little bit of everything in one bite. Excitedly he shoved the pile in his mouth. Chewing slowly I could see his face lighting up. "That," he said mouth half full of cake ", is so good. You should enter this in the next cooking competition."   
  
"Thank you." I smiled. "I might just take your advice." I watched him as he finished off the slice, clearly distracted by something.   
  
"Laney?" I arched an eyebrow at him and made a small noise, letting him know I noticed him. I said there patiently waiting for him to continue. "Did he really mean what he said?" I was confused, seeing as Cam said a lot of things during their conversation.   
  
"About what?" I asked innocently, remembering how I was unfortunately dragged into the conversation with Cam at one point.   
  
"About me," I waited patiently for him to gather his thoughts. ", you know, making him sacrifice happiness?" Sometimes Ash's obliviousness surprised even me.   
  
"Kinda." I said. He looked up at me clearly hurt by the honesty. "Think about it though." He listened to me, hoping I was going somewhere with this. "My Aunt Amanda couldn't raise him alone. She blamed Jessica for her situation and by extension you can see how he would too." I gently placed my hand on his. "And yet, despite the fact that he's angry at your mother and she by no means likes him, he ignores it so you two can be close." His face softened as I spoke. "It hurts a lot, but he just pushes it aside, and he has for years, simply so he can have his brother." He nodded slightly. "It was pent up anger, I'm not saying it was okay, but I can see why he would be fed up."   
  
"How does Lillian tie into that?" I gently rubbed the top of his hand. Even if I didn't like her too much at first, I didn't care, it was difficult to ignore what was right there.   
  
"It was more feelings he would have to push aside just so he could keep his little family together. It's difficult to ignore your feelings for someone." I knew that feeling all to well.   
  
"Like you?" He looked up at me from under his hair. I nodded slowly, knowing that this coming up was a huge possibility. "I'm sorry." He smiled weakly, drumming his fingers against the table as he thought. "I guess I cant see what's right in front of me, huh?"   
  
"Sometimes it's endearing." I flashed a smile at him, trying to show him that everything was okay between us.   
  
"Only sometimes, huh?" He joked. "You sure about that?" I started to see that goofy smile return to his face.   
  
"Positive." I assured him. He chuckled. "I take it you're feeling better now." He pondered it for a moment.   
  
"A little." I didn't expect to be able to patch things up between everyone in one talk. But they were on the mends and that was all that mattered.   
  
"I'll take it." His expression softened.   
  
"Thanks Laney." My heart used to flutter each time he said my name but as of late I wasn't feeling the same undying adoration I used to. Over the summer season I was so jealous of the attention he gave Lillian, so much so I grew to despise her. I was determined to believe that she was what was causing the rift between us. And now, as he sits right here, upset and alone, I felt a disconnect. Something about this situation told me that it was always there. Perhaps I too was naive and shortsighted, but maybe I just pretended it was never there before. I got lost in my thoughts and memories, trying my best to analyze the past. "Laney?" Ash's voice brought me out of my thoughts and back to the present.   
  
"Yes Ash?"   
  
"Cheryl told me not to tell you, but she thinks it would be an amazing idea if you made some snacks for everyone to bring to the fall music festival. She even offered to help you bake them." I wasn't entirely sure if this was Cheryl warming up to me or if she just wanted to ensure that there would be sweets that day. I wouldn't put either past the young girl.   
  
"That sounds like a great idea. You should bring her by this Thursday, and we can all make treats." I smiled. The idea of Cheryl willingly spending time with someone other than Ash was a foreign one to say the least.   
  
"Sounds like a plan." He gave me a thumbs up before heading home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mourning Bride: unfortunate attachment


	28. Betony

"I honestly have no idea what I'm doing wrong." I folded my arms and pouted. Delicately he cupped one of the wilting coral bells in his hand. Getting the flower at a better angle he carefully inspected the pink and brown petals making no noise while he judged my flowers. His brows furrowed as he tried to figure out what I did wrong. He stuck his index finger in the window boxes' soil and back pulled back almost immediately,    
  
"They're overwatered." He turned to me wiping the mud off his hand.   
  
"I'm sorry. . . did you say  _ over _ watered? That can happen?" That had to be fake. I watched my parents water their crops once a day and they never drowned them.   
  
"Of course. You're giving them more than they need so your drowning them." Plants can drown? That was news to me.   
  
"But you said I wasn't giving them enough before." I argued. I had no idea plants could be so fickle about their needs. Maybe that's why I couldn't keep them alive.   
  
"You can do both." I groaned in frustration. Animals were always easy. They'll let you know when they want food, they never eat too much, and it's easy to see when they're sick. But plants? Plants weren't something I could figure out. “They're also getting too much sun.” A sharp laugh burst from my mouth.

“Okay now you're just pulling my leg.” There's no way flowers could get too much sun.

“I'm serious.” Cam turned back to the window box and waved a hand at me. “Notice how these leaves are dry and yellow?” I leaned in closer to look at my plants, he was right the leaves on the top were faded. “That's sun scorching, it can happen to all plants but those that require less sun are more susceptible.”    
  
"I should just grow cacti." I pouted, crossing my arms in a huff. He chuckled, making me look at him.   
  
"Cactuses are some of the most difficult to raise. They need water once a week unless it's their growing season, then they need water every other day. Plus, they need an arid climate that we simply don't get here."   
  
"You're kidding, right?" Cam shook his head. "That's insane. Can't you just come over and take care of them?" He held my hand and smiled.   
  
"They'll be dead soon enough this winter, then I can show you how to take care of them properly. Okay?" I nodded, intertwining my fingers with his. “I can get you som-” A loud crash came from my living room and cut through our conversation.   
  
I opened my front door just in time to see Luna batting around my blue feather, which was hidden on the top shelf of my bookcase so she couldn't get at it. Clearly that plan didn't work. Broken picture frames, books and a few candles were now scattered around the bookcase. I groaned a little and made my way towards the mess. Carefully I started picking the larger shards of glass off the floor. "Cam can you get that away from her and put her upstairs? I don't want her getting cut."   
  


* * *

  
"Come here you." I scooped the lanky cat up off the floor and away from whatever she was batting around. Almost immediately she started squirming, trying desperately to break free from my arms so she could keep playing. I grasped her tighter and brought her upstairs to Lillian's bedroom. I set her down on in the center of the bed and retreaded quickly, slamming the door behind me before Luna could escape.   
  
Back downstairs Lily was still cleaning up the mess the black ball of chaos had left behind. I picked up the blue thing Luna was batting around and my palms started to sweat.  _ A blue feather? What? Where would she get a blue feather? Why would she have one? Did she buy it? Did she intend to give it to someone? _ My thoughts raced and my eyes darted between the feather and Lily. I cleared my throat with a cough  unsure of what else I could do.   
  
"What's wrong?" I looked down to see curious cerulean eyes. I uttered an incoherent word and waved the feather a little to bring attention to it. "Oh, no it's not that." She set the broom against the wall and moved to take the feather back. I watched as her cheeks flushed with embarrassment.   
  
"Why. . . do you?" I couldn't quite get the words out. She laughed nervously, snatching the weathered feather away without a second thought.   
  
"It's not what you think. I got this as a late birthday gift." That didn't exactly sound much better. I shifted my weight uncomfortable with the deafening silence. Her expression softened she longer she looked at it. "It was my mothers. She wanted me to have it when I turned twenty one." She pulled at her middle finger, removing the ring she always wore. I took the battered ring from her and examined it. I ran my fingers across the warm and dented metal.   
  
"Was this hers too?"   
  
"Yeah, my dad made it for her." I could tell by the imperfect shape that it wasn't something you'd buy. "He gave it to her on the night of the fireworks festival. They had been best friends since my dad moved to the islands. They had only been dating for half a year, but he knew that he never wanted to live without her and she felt the same. They got married a month later and were happy together until the very end." I could hear the slight unevenness in her voice and pulled her in close. Pressing her to my chest. I felt her arms wrap around the small of my back, pulling me in closer. I gently rested my chin on her head, taking in deep breaths. I could smell her shampoo's light orange scent wafting off her hair.   
  
I heard the faintest of meows coming from upstairs. "Come on. Someone's getting restless up there." I said. "How about this; you sweep up the rest of this mess, I'll hide this from Luna again, I'll start dinner and you can pick out a movie for us." She nodded again but didn't move. I resisted the urge to stay like this and pulled back.   
  


-×-

  
"I wasn't sure what you were in the mood for, so I chose this." I looked up from the paninis I was serving to see the case she was holding up. It was the first movie in a very popular franchise about wizards, elves, and hobbits. I had read the books before but I never got the chance to watch the movies. In the background I heard the whimsical melody playing.   
  
I set both plates down on the coffee table before gently kissing her forehead. I took a seat between her and the sleeping kitten. "It's perfect."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Betony:Surprise


	29. Cattails

It was the the day of the Pumpkin festival, the air was crisp and the trees stood bare. Their leaves now blanketed the ground in a patchwork of browns and oranges. I stood in front of the request board looking at things my friends and neighbors needed. Laney wanted some chestnuts for a Mont Blanc recipe, Eileen needed something from Sheng’s, and Rose wanted a ball of yarn. Tucked underneath Eileen's request was a plain piece of paper with familiar handwriting scrawled all over it. I tugged at the slip until it tore free from the staple. The title was simple; " _ For A Cat” _ I read on. _   
_ _   
_ __ "The other day, I found a stray cat. I want to give it a tasty treat. Does anyone have anything?" Two killifish. The request itself was simple enough but the thought of a stray broke my heart.   
  
"Where did you find it?" I demanded. Cam stared blankly at me from across the stall. It was clear he wasn't sure what I was referring to let alone in such a way. I removed the folded up piece of paper from my pocket and slammed it down on the fabric covered countertop.   
  
"I can show you when I go on my lunch break. Okay?" I looked up at the sun, it was almost high noon so I wouldn't have to wait too long. A cold wind whipped it's way through the town square, sending the dead leaves flying everywhere as if to remind me it was the last day of autumn. A stray wouldn't be able to last the winter out on the mountain. I looked up at him with a small pout, begging for an early start.  "Alright, alright, I'll call it an early lunch." He said in insincere frustration.

 

* * *

He led me towards the lowest part of our half of the mountain and I hoped the cat was still here. "I saw it right around here." We stood by a decaying tree trunk that had a plethora of mushrooms growing on it.   
  
"Was it here or did you see it from here?"   
  
"I was here looking for some flowers, and I found it up there." He pointed to the clearing by some small ledges. I nodded and began my search crawling around on my hands and knees; looking for anywhere it might hide. While I searched below he combed through the surrounding tree branches. 

A faint meow carried in the wind. Even if the cat wasn't in the immediate area it was nearby. I stood alert, waiting patiently for another meow. Once it did I followed the direction of the noise with quiet steps. I crossed the wide dirt road that was formed over years of use and stopped at the river bank, listening for any noise that may clue me in to the cats whereabouts. We continued our search around the river, the cat could be heard but we couldn't see it.

  
Out of the corner of my eye I caught a glimpse of something white. I looked over and saw bits of white poking out of a tree. I moved closer to the edge of the river, trying to get a better look at the amorphous blob. I watched it in silence, not wanting to scare whatever it was. Another pathetic mew came from the tree confirming my suspicions. "How on earth did it get up there?" Cam said what I was thinking. I shrugged. I stuck my hand in the river, it was like ice, but it would be colder tomorrow. The river wasn't too deep, two feet at most. It wasn't the widest of rivers, but it wasn't something I'd expect a cat to willingly cross. I sat down and ripped at the laces of my boots, I wasn't going to get my only pair work boots wet.    
  
"Stay here." I handed my socks up to him. "And hold these." He nodded. "We're headed straight to my house, then we'll work on finding any owners." I stood at the edge of the river staring at the water in preparation. I steeled myself and reluctantly started to wade through the frigid waters towards the small island. My maroon leggings immediately became soaked and I hiked my dress up to prevent it from following suit. A shiver ran through me and the muscles along my spine tightened. I bit down on my cheek and exhaled deeply through my nose. Taking a few more quick steps forward I hopped up back on to land.

I pursed my lips and clicked my tongue a few times, trying to call get it out of the tree. It didn't move but it did look down at me with curious eyes. From below the tree I could see it calico spots and bright line green eyes. "Come here kitty." I knew my calls were in vain but I had to try anyway. “Looks like I'm coming to you.” I thought aloud.   
  
The bottom branches were about five feet off the ground. Low enough that I could get a decent grasp but high enough that it was going to be difficult. I wrapped my hands around the branch and faced the trunk. With my bare feet I quickly climbed the trunk until my lower body was up high enough that I could swing it around. Before moving on to the the next branch I adjusted my weight, sitting upright on the branch. I cracked my knuckles and stretched my hands, grateful that my wrist had healed properly.   
  
"Careful Lily."   
  
"I will be." I grunted, climbing to the next limb and then the next. It was fairly easy to get up near the cat because it didn't climb too high, but it did make things a little difficult by sitting above a cluster of thinner branches.

I placed one foot on the strangest branch I could find and leaned against the thick trunk. With my balancing act I was able to get close to the cat. I didn't want to risk climbing any higher, fearing I may break the tree limbs and myself along with them. I held my hand up to the tiny creature. It's soft nose tapped my hand as it sniffed it. "Good," I looked at the cat for a second. “,boy.” He moved his head closer to my hand, allowing me the opportunity to pet him. Slowly I inched my other hand towards him as I continued to pet him. I couldn't risk moving quickly since I couldn't follow him if he decided to escape to the safety of the treetop. Once he was within reach I scooped him up, placing my hand under his front legs.   
  
Getting down was exponentially more difficult than going up. I did my best to keep myself steady with my one free hand. The tomcat was braced against my chest his claws digging into my shoulder as he squirmed. No matter how frustrated he got I couldn't risk letting the poor thing go. With each movement I could feel his skeleton rubbing that matted fur against me. It was painfully obvious he hadn't had food in a long while, let alone a warm place to sleep. I did my best to awkwardly descend the tree, keeping my butt as close as possible to the branches.   
  
Somehow I managed to maneuver my way down to the lowest branch. I carefully took a seat and thought. It was too risky to jump and getting down the way I got up wasn't an option. A warm tap on my foot brought me out of my thoughts.   
  
"Pass him down." I lowered my eyes to see Cam's hands extended. Looking back, his taller height would have made it easier to rescue the feline, but the past is past. I handed the frail animal down to him. He took a few steps back, giving me enough room to jump down. The landing wasn't ideal, seeing as I stumbled the moment my feet hit the ground. I quickly righted myself, dusting the dirt and dead grass from my hands. When I turned to look at my boyfriend I noticed that his pants were soaking wet.   
  
"You're wet." I stated bluntly but he just shrugged and handed the cat back. "The idea was that only one of us would have to cross." He flashed a sly smile.   
  
"You should head home. Your feet must kill." I made a dismissive noise despite the fact that he was right. The rough bark had splintered and cut my feet. I looked up at the setting sun and nodded.   
  
"I will." I adjusted the cat in my arms and stood on my tip toes, planting a kiss on his cheek. "As long as you come too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a pun


	30. Snowdrop

Luna curiously sniffed under the door to my spare room, wanting to meet its current tenant. I made sure the stray cat had some water, food, a makeshift litter box and a blanket for him to sleep on. He sat there devouring the small amount of wet food I had put out for him. I was careful to not fill up the small dish because I didn't want the cat to make himself sick. I pet him slowly as he ate; feeling his dirty and knotted fur beneath my fingers. Brushing his fur wasn't an option at this point, I would have to cut it but that was a job that could wait until tomorrow. I knew that cutting his fur would only stress him out further and I didn't want to give him a reason to distrust me. It didn't hurt that I was tired and not in the mood to deal with an angry cat. Judging by his poor condition he was either abandoned or had been lost for a while. If anyone could help me figure out what the deal was with this cat it would be Grady.   
  
With the splinters now out of my feet I seized the opportunity and laid down on the couch, my head resting on Cam's lap. Outside the living room windows the last light of day reflected off the falling snow. I was glad I turned the barns heaters on before I left this morning.    
  
"Winter came early this year, huh?" All the kids must be disappointed with their treat collection being cut short.   
  
"Not really." I turned my head slightly to look up at him. "Snow always falls on the last night of autumn around here." I hummed in response and turned back to watch the snow. The radio played in the background on a low volume, an old crooner sang of finding love in a big city and Cam's ran his long fingers through my hair in time with the slow beat.   
  
We watched in a comfortable silence for a short time. As the snow began to pick up I realized what was once a dusting was quickly turning into a snowstorm. "I'm not letting you walk home tonight."   
  
"That's fine. I can sleep on the couch. It's not like Howard will wonder where I am." He chuckled. Ever since we started dating we had a ritual of Thursday being movie night and that meant, more often than not, he'd end up staying the night. Some of the older citizens saw it as scandalous even if we were both adults, but I certainly didn't care.   
  
"Since you're here all night what'cha want for dinner?" I reluctantly rolled myself forward off his lap and stood up. "I stocked up on groceries that aren't pasta, bread, and eggs.” I walked over towards the thermostat and cranked the heat up. “I can try to help you cook if you'd like." I offered. A few metallic roars came from my basement and the slightly musty smell of the heat began to thaw the house.   
  
"Alright. Let me see what you have." He joined me in the kitchen, rummaging through my fridge. He pulled out sweet potatoes, pureed pumpkin, milk, a handful of spices and a small onion. I grabbed an armful of dry ingredients I'd use to make some bread for tomorrow. 

While he was preparing dinner I took a lap around the bottom floor double checking that all the windows were locked tight. I looked out my western window, getting lost in the hypnotic way the snowflakes fell, and I couldn't help but think of how the Chelsea was going to handle this weather. I blinked a few times to clear the thought from my mind before I returned to the kitchen. The radio was now playing holiday music as if the music itself was linked to the snowstorm in some cosmic way.   
  
"Are you going to get a tree?" Cam said suddenly and I turned my attention away from my sticky ball of dough.   
  
"A tree?" I shook my head as I spoke. "I'm not going to cut down a poor tree in its prime."   
  
"You don't decorate holiday trees?" He looked over at me a confused expression on his face.   
  
"Of course we- I do.” I corrected myself quickly. After my parents passed Phil and I tried to keep up the tradition but we just sort of fell out of the habit. I didn't realize how long it had been since I had a proper Starry Night celebration. "When I was little we'd decorate the tree closest to the house. We'd use popcorn, nuts, raisins, seeds, and and some other edible things. Ya know, stuff for the winter birds and squirrels to eat." I pushed the dough off my hands and into a thoroughly greased bowl so it could rise. "We could see it out the living room windows. It was so pretty." I stepped to my right and rinsed the sticky nightmare off my hands.   
  
"It sounds it." He stirred the creamy pumpkin soup. "I'm sure you'll like our Starry Night festival just as much."   
  
"Oh yeah?" I leaned back against the counter and watched him cook. “What do you guys do?”   
  
"We have a family dinner, sit around the tree and open gifts." He tossed a few diced shallots into the pot. “Just a quiet night in.”   
  
"That sounds nice." Luna had finally given up all hope of meeting the new feline and opted to sit on the decorative wooden box that covered my downstairs radiator.   
  
I looked over my shoulder to see that my dough was already starting to rise. Cam popped the tin-foiled sweet potatoes into the oven and returned to his soup. I leaned over slightly and pressed my head against his arm. “Gods, that smells good.” The warm aroma of the spices made my stomach growl. “I'm so happy you can cook.” I mumbled, now realizing how tired I was.   
  
"One of these days I'll teach you.” He set the wooden spoon down on the counter and stepped away. I let out a whine to protest. “We have about an hour until dinner's ready. Let's find something to watch.” I looked up at his soft smile and it warmed my heart. 

“Sounds like a plan.” I returned his smile.   
  


* * *

 

I pulled my coat closer to my chest as I walked back from Konohana. "Today was the wrong day to take a hike." The weather man only mentioned a light dusting, but this was insanity. “What a damned liar.” I spat.

  
As I neared the top of the mountain I heard a whimper carry across the wind. I shook my head, dismissing the noise as a wild animal just unhappy with the weather, but as I got closer the whimpers became more distinct and more human. I looked around, trying to find the source of the noise. I took a few steps in and looked around the festival area, but I found nothing. "It must've been my imagination." There was a small tap on my shoulder and my whole body tensed in surprise. I turned around to see a short woman in all white crying. "Are you alright?" She shook her head in response which caused snow to tumble down her hair. "What's the matter?"   
  
"I got lost." Her voice was soft and uneven. "Can you help me?" I nodded, looking at the shivering girl. "I was supposed to move to a town called Bluebell, but I wanted to stop by the goddess spring first," She wiped her eyes with the back of her hands. ", and now I can't find my way there." Admittedly the trails could be confusing at night, especially since they led to dead ends in many places.   
  
"I live there, I can show you the way back no problem." I flashed a grin and shrugged my coat off and threw it around the small woman.   
  
"Thank you sir."   
  
"Call me Ash." I wrapped my arm around her cold shoulders and led her down the trail. "And you are?"   
  
"Alisa." She shook her head again. "Ash, are you cold."   
  
"Nah, it's not that bad and town isn't too far away." I lied.   
  
"Are you sure?"   
  
"Positive." I did my best to keep my body from shivering. "How long were you up there Alisa?"   
  
"I don't know. It was light out when I stopped by the spring, and there wasn't snow."   
  
"You must be freezing." I looked down at her, she nodded slowly. "Why don't you come back to my house, for a warm meal?" I felt so bad for the girl.   
  
"Oh no, I couldn't possibly." Her face was red and I wasn't entirely sure if it was because of the cold wind or not.   
  
"I insist." I grinned. In return a small smile spread across her chapped lips.   
  
"Thank you Ash."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So snowdrops represent hope but I'm using it in the more literal sense.


	31. Lychnis

"So what brings you to Bluebell, Alisa?" The priestess looked towards the village in distance.   
  
"I heard about the abandoned church from Father Nathan, and I decided I would bring the teachings of the Goddess here."   
  
"You came here all alone?" She nodded. "That's so brave of you. It takes a lot of courage to follow your dreams." I saw the red of her cheeks deepen.   
  
"Thank you." She paused for a second. "What do you do?"   
  
"Me? I'm a farmhand, I help my mother run a small ranch." Her eyes widened.   
  
"Really? You work with animals? That sounds amazing." Her hands clasped together in excitement. "Could I meet them one day?" I couldn't help but grin at her childlike excitement.   
  
"You can meet them before dinner." We turned the corner into town and Alisa slowed her pace in front of the old church. She was silent for a moment, processing what was before us.   
  
"It's a little run down.” The priestess paused to choose her words. “But it's not that bad. A few basic repairs and a nice coat of paint and it should be good as new.” She said under her breath as she thought aloud. “I can't wait to get it cleaned up." I looked at the filthy windows and broken door. No one had been inside that thing for years, cleaning it up would be a lot of work alone.   
  
"Let me help you clean up." Her head whipped around and she stared at me bug eyes.   
  
"I couldn't possibly let you do that. This is my duty." She shook her head muttering ‘no’ the whole time. I felt bad but I couldn't help but laugh a little.   
  
"Yeah but, it's part of my home. I want to be able to be proud of it again." I looked at the old building again, feeling sorry for it. “I’m still gonna do it. Even if you don't let me.” I teased. The small woman fell quiet for a moment, still examining the church.   
  
"What was it like before?" She asked, turning to look at me again.   
  
"It was really pretty. The old bell shined, and as it rang it echoed through the whole town, maybe even over the mountains too. I remember when the windows made a rainbow on the red carpets. It was always so peaceful, like the Goddess could actually hear your prayers." I spent many a days playing with Laney, Cam and Georgia in the church. Looking at it now, I couldn't help but feel guilty that we let it get this bad.   
  
"It sounds magical."   
  
"It really was." I agreed. A harsh wind blew through the valley sending a chill up my spine. “C’mon, let's get you inside.” I put on a brave face and didn't shiver. The last thing I wanted was to make her feel guilty.   
  


~

  
"They're so cute!" Alisa excitedly squealed as she pet the baby sheep. "What are their names?" In the light of the barn I could now see her strawberry blonde hair, porcelain skin, and ice blue eyes.   
  
"The two grown ups are Annabel and Seth. And the little one you're petting is called Snow."   
  
"Hello Snow." Her voice was as gentle as her pets were. "Aren't you a lucky little lamb. Getting to live here in this nice barn with your mom and dad." She cooed, playing with the tight curls. Behind us one of the cows mooed, jealous of the attention the lamb was getting. With a small ‘oh’ she  looked towards the cows. "And what about them?"   
  
"Both ladies. The big jersey is Louise, while the sleeping one is Zoe." Normally the lambs weren't big fans of physical contact, they tended to be way too skittish, but Snow was calm and eager for the attention.   
  
"Ash, dinner!" I heard Cheryl yell from the house.    
  
"Who was that?"    
  
"My little sister Cheryl."   
  
"You're so lucky, I always wanted a little sister." The small priestess stood, brushing the stray bits of hay off of her skirt.   


“She can be a handful sometimes.” I admitted. “But she's a good kid.” I wiped my hands on my slacks and offered her my elbow. “C’mon, we don't want to keep them waiting.”

 

* * *

 

"Thank you so much for having me for dinner Miss Jessica. You're food is wonderful." Sitting before me was a plate full of farm fresh green beans, cheese coated potatoes, and grilled fish.   
  
"Aren't you a sweetheart. I always enjoy having company over." The older woman had a warm smile on her face as she spooned potatoes onto her plate.   
  
"Why are your clothes all funny?" I felt tugging on my sleeve and i turned my head to see Cheryl inspecting my wet robes as she spoke.   
  
"Cheryl! Don't be rude." Jessica chastised her daughter. I set my fork down on my plate and gave the child my full attention.   
  
"It's fine." I smiled at the tiny red headed girl. "I'm a priestess for the Harvest Goddess. These are holy robes worn by all who teach people about the Goddess." The child's eyes were wide with curiosity.   
  
"Why are they all wet then?"   
  
"I got caught out in the snowstorm and the snow melted so I got all wet."    
  
"Alisa, don't you have anything else to wear?" I turned towards Jessica and nodded.   
  
"I do, however they aren't here with me, Father Nathan sent them to the church early, so I could settle in without much worry." I don't think he knew how bad the church was. I don't even know if it has a working heater. Even so, Nathan always took great care of me as a child, I was lucky he cared for me so much. I would miss him. But he knew his place was on the islands and mine was here.   
  
"Didn't you bring anything with you?"   
  
"No. I don't own much. I was taught that too many material possessions would distract one from worship."   
  
"Do you really believe that?" Ash spoke up.   
  
"Not particularly." I thought for a moment. "I understand the concept behind that but I don't think a television would distract you from the Goddess. Same with marriage." I sighed. "But it isn't honorable for a church leader to have such things."   
  
"That's so selfless Alisa, I couldn't imagine not having my children around." I smiled.   
  
"I can imagine it's a fulfilling life." I held back a bitter smile. Children were always something I wanted but could never have.   
  
"It is." She discretely looked at her children. "So what made you join the church?" My eyes drifted down to my food. "I'm sorry was that to personal." Her cheeks grew pink as my silence lingered.   
  
"No. It just," I took a deep breath. ", it isn't a happy tale." I felt a warm hand grasp mine. I looked over to my left, seeing Ash's kind face.   
  
"You don't have to talk about it." I heard a huff escape the young girl. I couldn't help but crack a smile. It was clear the young girl wasn't used to having her brother pay attention to other people. In a way it was endearing, there was great love in this family. "I gotta say you moved here just in time." I tilted my head slightly.   
  
"How so?"   
  
"You get to enjoy our Starry Night festival and New Years."   
  
"And winter Harmony Day, and the cooking festival, and flower day, and spring Harmony Day, and animal festivals, and snowball fights, and birthdays, and-" The girl rambled on without pausing.   
  
"Cheryl breathe." Ash interrupted. She did as she was told and quieted down.   
  
"Bluebell sounds like the perfect place to be." I'm glad the Goddess moved me here.   
  
"It is!" She beamed with pride for her town.   
  
"So, Alisa, would you like dessert?"   
  
"I've imposed on you too much, Jessica. I couldn't possible stay much longer."   
  
"I insist." She opened up the freezer and pulled out a large container. "It's homemade strawberry ice cream, my specialty."   
  
"Well, I can't say no to that." I felt my lips curl into a grin. "Ice cream is my absolute favorite."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I ended up changing Alisa's back story since I didn't want too many recurring characters from the Sunshine Islands. 
> 
> Lychnis: Religious enthusiasm.


	32. Morning Glory

A high pitched ringing startled me awake that morning. It took me a moment to process that it was my landline. With a groan I sat up, trying not to disturb Cam as best I could. I looked over at him, his mouth hanging open slightly in his sleep. No matter how much I prayed the phone kept ringing. I glanced across the room at my alarm clock, it took my tired eyes a few seconds to focus on the blue numbers. There thirty-two in the goddamned morning. "Ew." I slipped out of bed and tiptoed across the old floor boards, being careful to avoid the ones I knew would creak. I leaned my elbows against my dresser and picked up the phone. For a moment I said nothing and just appreciated the fact that the ringing was gone. “Whoissit?" I asked, my words barely forming a complete sentence. My mind was so exhausted I couldn't understand anything the man was saying, let alone recognize who it was. "What?" I reluctantly yawned, the action waking up my whole body, i did my best to focus my tired mind. When the man spoke again,  I understood.   
  
"Chelsea's gone into labor. She wants you here." It was like a bucket of ice water had been dumped on me, my entire system now awake.

“Of course!” I fought the urge to shout in excitement. My leg bounced with energy as I thought about the next time a ferry would leave. "I won't be able to get there until about . . .,” Three thirty in the morning was not the best time to do mental math. “, like seven thirty at the earliest?"   
  
"Yeah, yeah that's fine. Just get here as soon as you can." Vaughn was clearly panicked.    
  
"I will. I promise." I hung the phone up and fought every urge I had to go back to sleep. As I passed the foot of my bed I looked over at Cam who was lightly snoring and I couldn't help but smile. Luna extended her front paws and stretched, taking the opportunity to move up the bed. Without a moment's hesitation she curled up right next to my pillow, soaking up the warmth I left behind. I shuffled across the hall and waited for the shower to warm up. Despite the fact that my heat was on, my bathroom was cold in comparison and I pulled my pajama top closer not wanting to strip my warm pjs off. I mentally fought with myself and I had to keep thinking about how little time I had to do everything that needed to get done. With one final mental groan I stripped and stepped into the warm water.   
  
It was four sixteen, the first boat left at five thirty. I walked back into my bedroom, I adjusted the hem of my towel to keep it tightly wrapped around me. Neither Luna or Cam stirred at my entrance. In the darkness I searched for the warmest, chunkiest sweater I could find along with a handful of clean clothes. I wasn't sure how long I was going to be down south so I had to plan ahead, if only a little. 

My hand hesitated on the top of my towel.  _ Oh Gods, I know he's asleep but the thought of him waking up to me naked. _ I thought, a small lump forming in the back of my throat.  _ Why am I scared? _ I couldn't make sense of my emotions.  _ I'm not afraid of him, so scared isn't right, nervous maybe? _ I raked a hand through my damp hair in frustration and reminded myself that now was not the time.  _ Time _ . I looked down at the clock again.  _ Yeah I really don't have the time to over analyze this _ . With that I dropped my towel and got dressed as fast as possible. My hair was finally long enough to put in to a stumpy ponytail so after my hair was brushed I did just that. I set the other outfits aside and went down to make coffee and breakfast.   
  
I stood above my stove, staring out my kitchen window and only half paying attention to my cooking. A sliver of sunlight was cresting the horizon, highlighting the world with its faint gold. It had been years since I watched the sun rise. The last time I had it was shortly after my parents passed. I went through phases of oversleeping, then under sleeping, and then back again. That lasted for months on end.  _ It wasn't as pretty then _ . Now I finally noticed the vibrant purples that decorated the sky and clouds. The blanket of fresh snow only amplified the colors, reflecting what little light there was back into the world. It was something I could get lost in. 

Suddenly I felt two sarms wrap around me I released a startled yelp. "Lily, relax, it's just me." Cam mumbled into my hair.    
  
"I know, I just wasn't expecting you." I spun around and leaned into the hug. "How long have you been awake?" I asked, burying my face into his tee shirt to hide the blush that was forming.   
  
"Well, I vaguely remember a phone ringing, but," He yawned. ", I fell back asleep and," another yawn. ", woke up when I smelled food and coffee." I pulled away to look up at my boyfriend. His honeyed hair was sleep tousled and dark circles shadowed his eyes, but he was still so cute. I couldn't stop a smile from forming even if I wanted to. "Why are you up this early?"    
  
"I have to head to the islands." He lazily arched an eyebrow, prompting me to continue. "Chelsea's in labor and wants me there."   
  
"Ah." His response time was faster as he was starting to actually wake up. "And you didn't wake me up because?"   
  
"Because I wanted you to get as much sleep as you could. Besides, you look so adorable when you sleep, it would've been a crime to wake you." I jokingly pinched his cheek for a second.   
  
"Hn." He grunted. "How long will you be gone?" I gave a small shrug.   
  
"Probably until the third, but if I had to guess the latest I'll be there is the fifth. It all depends on how much help they need." I removed the bacon from the heat and set it on a plate, putting the hot skillet on a cool burner. "I hate to ask but could you meet with Grady today? I want to make sure Mister is okay. And-" He held his hand up, stopping me in my tracks.   
  
"It's no issue. It's Monday, and with the change in seasons I can't restock anyway. I will gladly take care of your animals for today and I can probably rope Georgia or Ash in to help until you return." He bent down to kiss my forehead and nudged me away from the stove. "You're ruining the eggs." I happily backed away and poured myself a cup of coffee. After a few minutes he set two plates of scrambled eggs down and took a seat beside me. "What time does the next ferry leave?"   
  
"Five thirty." I dove in, devouring the wonderful breakfast set before me. Perfectly seasoned. If I had more time I'd want to cook up seconds.   
  
"I'll give you a ride."    
  
"You don't have to." I argued, mouth half full of bacon.   
  
"Well, it's roughly four thirty now, and it's a two hour walk from here. Plus, you can't exactly leave Duke at the docks for five days. So I'm not seeing any other options." I wanted to disagree. He was already doIng so much for me. Giving me a ride to the port would be overkill. But he was right so I nodded in agreement.

~

"I'll miss you." With my arms wrapped around his chest I squeezed with all my might, not wanting to let go.

"I'll miss you roo." He pressed his lips to mine in a passionate, but brief, kiss. "Call me when you know you're coming home, so I can pick you up."   
  
"I will." I gave him another tight hug, which caused my bag to slip from my shoulder to the crook of my arm.   
  
"You have to go now or the ferry will leave without you." I adjusted my rucksack so it was on my shoulder again. Reluctantly I let go of him, and made my way onto the boat, but not before giving him one last kiss. I stood at the back of the boat and waved to him as it left the port. He sat on Duke's back, waving in return.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Morning Glory was another title that is used in a more literal sense.


	33. Lucern

I sat is the living room wishing I could temporarily go deaf. Not only was I forced to listen to my lifelong friend scream her brains out but I was just sitting around. I was completely useless. Vaughn was upstairs with Doctor Trent and a screaming Chelsea. When I first arrived she wasn't even ready to push, but hours had passed and I was trapped downstairs. 

I was honestly surprised she still had Vaughn in there. As silly as it was, she had always insisted that witnessing a birth would ruin a man's sex drive. I honestly had no idea how she got that idea in her head but all throughout her early adulthood she stuck to her guns. And yet when the time came, she wanted her husband right by her side. I understood why she wanted him there, he was the love of her life and they were bringing their child into the world. I was honestly relieved that she backed down on that. I didn't expect childbirth to sound pleasant, but her blood curdling screams were terrifying and it didn't help my nerves.  _ What if something goes wrong? _ I threw myself up off the couch and started to clean, refusing to let myself think of such things.  _ Nope, not gonna think about that. _ I insisted.  _ She's gonna be fine _ . The words repeated in my head.  _ Everything's fine and in a short time I'll have a niece or nephew. _

I always thought the actual delivery was quick, a few minutes tops, but this was taking a lot longer. Soon enough the screams started to ebb and were replaced with the cries of another. My heart raced with excitement. I was now an aunt. Underneath the newborn's wails I heard the happy tears of my best friend.   
  
Chelsea was laying down on the bed with Vaughn and I flanking her. She couldn't take her eyes off the oddly discolored child. Apparently children aren't born adorable and skin colored. The child was wrinkly, with a slightly pointed head, and tinged with an odd purple undertone. It was still adorable. "He's absolutely stunning." She cooed, gently squeezing him closer to her. I didn't dare ask to hold him, to disrupt this perfect moment in time would be a sin. "Jason." She whispered over and over. I heard the faintest of snores escape the new mother. Vaughn and I watched as Chelsea fell asleep, her pain medication finally kicking in. After Vaughn took the baby I pulled the clean blankets up further to loosely tuck her in. Baby in hand he gestured towards the nursery across the hall.   
  
"What's it like?" I asked as I took a seat in a plush oversized rocking chair. With great care the white haired farmer set his newborn in my arms.    
  
"It's." He paused, groping for the right words. "Indescribable." I cracked a smile. That was just about the answer I anticipated. "I mean. I've known this person for less than an hour but I love it as much as I love Chelsea." He leaned against the wall beside me. "And yet I'm afraid." His voice cracked with the last word. If I wasn't paying attention I would've missed it completely.   
  
"Afraid?" Slowly I started to rock back and forth in the chair, completely transfixed with Jason. My heart melted when he yawned.   
  
"I'm responsible for making sure this child becomes the best it can be. What if I mess up?" I shook my head.   
  
"You will." I doubt that was the answer he wanted to hear, but Vaughn had always responded best to the direct approach. "But I mean, everyone messes up. To err is human, right?" From second one this baby had me under his spell. "Children don't come with a manual. The best thing you have is intuition. You'll mess up, and you'll learn from the mistakes. You and Chels are some of the best people I know. If you can't do it, there's no hope for the rest of humanity." That got a quiet laugh. "Vaughn, you should get some sleep. I can watch him for a while." I looked up at him in his disheveled state. "Go, you're exhausted." It was all over his face and he was slumped against the wall. He could barely keep his own weight up. "If he needs something major I'll wake you up." The rancher nodded and walked back towards the bedroom.   
  
"Thanks Lillian." Vaughn paused at the door to look back at me and his son before he let. I looked down at Jason again. He was now fast asleep. In this state he was angelic. The purple had started to fade and he was now a mostly human pink. His chubby face was covered in drool. It was endearing. The longer I watched him the more I wanted a child of my own.

When I was with Will the idea of having a child was terrifying, repulsive even. Part of it was because I was a kid and the idea of settling down was so foreign to me, but everything about Will was wrong. Hell, it was a nightmare I was almost forced into. But now, just like that happily ever after I dreamt of, it seemed to be an attainable thing. “But you'll hold me over for a few years.” My voice was barely audible. 

Beams of light still poked through the cracks in the blinds. It was just enough light to make his soft hair shine. Right now it was a dark brown, like all newborns have, but soon that would fall out and his permanent hair would come in. It would look odd if he got Vaughn's color, especially at such a young age, but weirder things have happened. Either way this boy would grow up to be a very handsome man. "You're a very lucky guy." I whispered. "Your parents are some of the best in the whole world. You're never going to want anything." My eyes softened. "Plus, you're going to have the best aunt. I'm going to get you so many presents, it isn't even funny. And I promise I won't do what people always did to me as a kid." I too was a winter baby and so most of the other villagers gave me practical winter gifts. Only my parents got me toys. Looking back it was nice that everyone celebrated my birthday with me, but as a child sweaters and wool socks weren't fun gifts. “If only you had waited a few days, then we coulda been birthday buddies.” I teased.   
  
The tiny child started to stir in his sleep, fighting the tight bundle of blankets that were swaddled around him. I slowly began rocking again, hoping that would help him sleep better and prevent him from waking up. Quietly I started to hum the lullaby my mother used to sing to me. Soon enough his motions stilled and he returned to his deep sleep.   
  
About an hour later a disgusting odor hit my nose, pulling me out of my daydreams and back to reality. Jason released a high pitched wail and I knew he had to be changed. This woke his father up who entered the room at a brisk pace, his bare feet heavy on the hardwood floors. With one fluid motion he took the baby from my hands and set him down on the changing table.   
  
"How's she doing?" I asked.   
  
"Trent gave her something to help with the pain but she's still exhausted." He unwrapped the tight blankets and unbuttoned the onesie. As careful as he was it seems he didn't lean the first rule of changing boys. If the air is cool enough they'll pee. I had to stifle my laughter. It was difficult to not snicker at the coolest man of the Islands get peed on. He let out a disgruntled noise and proceeded to change his son.   
  
"I'm glad everything went well." There were so many complications that could occur during childbirth. There was a decent chance that one of the two involved wouldn't be okay. "I couldn't imagine losing her." It finally hit me, all the fear and anxiety I was holding on to downstairs. Chelsea was a sister to me. She had helped me so many times that I couldn't keep track. We'd been through everything together and the thought of not having her around anymore killed me. I shoved those dark thoughts aside as best I could, she was fine, Jason was fine. There was nothing to worry about now.   
  
"I couldn't live with myself if something happened to either of them." He started to bundle the baby back up in his soft blankets. "Trent is coming by tomorrow to check in on her." My heart sank. He looked at me, seeing the worry on my face. "It's just to be sure." Vaughn pat my head a few times to assure me and I couldn't help but think the roles should be reversed. "He said everything looked fine, but it's just a precautionary measure, something he does to every patient." I nodded.   
  
"So, how long do you guys need me?" I asked just trying to get an idea of my plans.   
  
"It depends on how quickly she feels better." I nodded again.   
  
"You two focus on this adorable little guy. While I'm here I can take care of the animals and the cleaning."   
  
“You know you don't have to." He insisted.   
  
"Of course, but the thing is, I want to." I smiled. "You guys need this time to relax and get into the rhythm of things."   
  
"And your farm will be fine without you?" An eyebrow quirked up in curiosity.   
  
"I've got someone taking care of everything for me." My smile widened as Cam came to mind.   
  
"Is it the florist Chelsea told me abou?." I couldn't help but blush and he took that as a definite yes. "How are things going with you two?"   
  
"Better than I imagined." With his free arm he gave me a side hug. For a man who has some difficulty expressing himself, this gesture said a whole hell of a lot. "Thanks." I smiled. “I'm gonna get back to cleaning, let me know if you want me to watch him some more.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lucern: life


	34. White Periwinkle

Out of kindness to me and my sleep schedule Chelsea and Vaughn gave me a pair of ear plugs to use. For the most part they succeeded in muffling the newborn's cries. Every morning Vaughn would come in and wake me up so I didn't have to set an alarm and risk waking the baby. Each day I would do my regular routine but with Chelsea's animals. Admittedly her farm was much larger than mine and by extent had many more animals and crops.   
  
It was winter so I didn't have to worry about watering her crops, they would just freeze over in a few days anyway so I harvested what I could. After that I would tend to the animals. I would feed them all, collect their eggs and milk, and clean off any dirt they had on them. I gave each animal a treat to thank them for being well behaved. I would also take Andy out for a ride around a few islands, just so he could get a good exercise in. After the animals were taken care of I'd go out and restock anything they needed. This ranged from food to diapers, and when I returned home I would start on the cleaning. I'd sweep, do laundry, take out the trash, compost what I could, wash dishes, dust, and clean the windows.   
  
"You really don't have to stay much longer." Chelsea said Thursday afternoon while I was sweeping the floor. "I feel bad watching you do our chores."   
  
"Don't be silly. I don't mind helping you out." I said with a smile. As much as I would love to help them out more knew I'd have to go home soon. There was no way I could afford to pay my friends for more than a week of work.   
  
"We can handle it from here." She insisted. They had been slowly helping me out more each day. "We already have the schedule figured out." Everything we said was in a hushed tone since Jason was asleep in her arms.   
  
"Oh really?" I doubted, knowing full well it was difficult to keep a schedule with a newborn baby.   
  
"Yes  _ really _ ." She used her best mocking tone as she gently bounced the baby in her arms. "Vaughn will sleep all night and do the chores while I will take care of this adorable little nugget." She slowly adjusted her son as she relaxed back in the chair. "And I'll sleep whenever he does." I rolled my eyes a little.   
  
"I'll just stay a few more days." It was the fifth now so that would give them a week of help.   
  
"Nope, you're going home tomorrow." I started to protest but she wasn't having it. "I'm not letting you play Cinderella on your birthday. This is our house, and our baby, and our chores. Got it?" The new mother stared down at me with a commanding look on her face. She already had ‘the look’ down pat.    
  
"Yeah, yeah." I said dismissively which made her laugh.   
  
"What do you want for dinner tonight?"   
  
"Dunno.” I shrugged and continued sweeping. “Why? What do you want?" The newborn began to squirm in his mother's arms as he stirred awake.   
  
"Oh no, we're having what you want. It's your birthday dinner." I rolled my eyes. She always made a bigger deal about my birthday than I did. As a child I adored birthdays like every kid but as an adult the novelty of it all wore off. "We  _ have _ to celebrate."   
  
"Why?" I whined.    
  
"It's your twenty second birthday." I nodded slightly, she had me there. "Plus, you've made some huge strides this year."   
  
"I didn't realize twenty two was a milestone." My voice dripped with sarcasm.   
  
"It isn't really but you didn't have the greatest twenty-first birthday so I figured we should make it up to you." Admittedly my twenty first birthday did suck. I had recently found out about Phil's terrible plan with Will and was planning my move to Bluebell.   
  
"I want," My foot tapped as I thought about it. ", I want your famous Shepherd's Pie." I hoped it wasn't too complicated a dish to make.   
  
"Sounds like a plan." Jason started to cry, hungry no doubt. "Go." I shooed her away. "I have to finish this."   


-

Vaughn took care of Jason while i showered and Chelsea cooked. I decided it would be nice if I wore the present Chelsea got me when she came to visit. It was a frilly pastel pink dress, something I didn't like wearing too often, especially in the cold. But I had to admit it was really cute, just impractical. I took a seat at the dining room table next to Vaughn and Jason. Despite being more reserved he, like Chelsea, fell into the parental role quickly.   
  
"Thank you for dinner." Plumes of steam rose from the burgundy casserole dish and a hearty aroma filled the air. My stomach growled as I watched the serving spoon cut into the golden potato crust.   
  
"It's no problem." Chelsea smiled, serving me a large scoop of the rich meal on my plate. "I hope you like it." Chewing slowly I mulled it over trying to place the flavor. It wasn't her recipe but it was familiar nonetheless. "I thought you'd like this a little better than mine." I raised an eyebrow, the only real difference was the inclusion of onion and her celery was swapped out for peas. "Phil gave me a bunch of your mother's recipes." As soon as she said that it clicked in my head. All those cold days we'd gather round the table and enjoy a meal together. It had been so long since I ate my mother's cooking I had almost forgotten what it was like. Chelsea got the dish just right. I could almost hear my father laughing while he told us about something mildly amusing that happened at Taro’s.   
  
"Thank you." I said as soon as I finished chewing.   
  
"Don't thank me yet." She crouched down under the table and produced two presents. She shoved them across the polished wood with no concern for my full plate. As my plate slid away from me I let out a small whine, jabbing my utensil at it a few times before it got out of reach. With a fork full of potato I smirked in victory for a few seconds before eating my prize.

"Why don't you let her finish dinner first?" Vaughn suggested in vain.

"Well, they're in front of her so she might as well open them now." The eager impatience in her voice bordered on childish. The fact that Chelsea nudged the bottom box a few times wasn't exactly helping her case. 

With a roll of the eye I set my fork down and opened the lid to the smaller of the two boxes. Beneath the tissue paper was a small bundle of pastel pink chiffon. I lifted the bundle of fabric, curious about what it looked like. Before it got more than three inches out of the box I realized it was lingerie. I dropped the garment and pulled my hand away quickly like it would bite me. My ears burned in embarrassment. "I . . . um," I sputtered not knowing how to react. It would be one thing if she gave it to me in private, I'd still be flustered but it would be manageable, but in front of Vaughn. I would be perfectly happy if he thought I was some sexless entity for the rest of my life. That just wasn't something you talk about in front of your best friend's husband.   
  
"It's pretty right?" She rocked excitedly on her feet. "I saw it and thought you'd appreciate it." Chelsea waggled her eyebrows at the last bit and I couldn't help but shrink back into myself. "There's a matching pair of stockings in there too."

"It is really pretty. . ." My sentence trailed off as I thought about actually wearing it. About what Cam would think. Vaughn cleared his throat before speaking, which helped me focus on reality.

"My half is underneath that." I nodded and opened the box again, wrapping the white chiffon back in its protective paper. Beneath the lingerie was a chunky sweater. I removed it from the box fully to look at the pattern, braids criss crossed over the soft cream wool. "I figured you would need something warmer up north."

"You have no idea," I laughed. ", I almost froze my first month in Bluebell." I returned both garments to their temporary home. "Thanks you guys." I reached over to hug Chelsea and waited for her to take the baby so I could hug him.   
  
"There's still one more." She was quick to remind me about that. I bent forward and opened the large box. Inside that box was a tiny box, one made of wood, it sat on a large glass frame, inside of which was my mother's dried bouquet. I pressed my hand against the protective glass. After I left home I didn't think I'd get a chance to see it again. Phil had stowed it away shortly after the accident, that and a lot of other things. I stared at the wedding bouquet its ribbon of yellowed with age. It took a moment before I could move on to the oak box. Resting on a miniature pillow was a pair of pearl earrings. "Phil wanted to make sure you got these safely. He mentioned that the earrings were a tenth anniversary present from your father." Guilt began to gnaw at my stomach. Phil wasn't trying to force me into forgiveness, he respected my space and didn't lash out. I genuinely believed his apology. Maybe it was time to see him.   
  
"I remember these." Like there was any chance I'd forget about them. "She used to have these hanging in the living room, remember?"    
  
"Where do you think I got the idea from?" She nodded her head towards her bouquet that hung above a copy of their wedding invitation. After a moment of silence I got up the courage to ask.   
  
"Hey, is it okay if I borrow Andy for a little while tonight?" Without missing a beat she nodded.   
  
"Just, put on pants before you leave." I couldn't resist laughing at that. "We can have cake when you get back."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> White periwinkles: pleasant memories


	35. Filbert

Andy's heavy hooves kicked up frozen dirt as we rode down the familiar roads towards my old home. When we reached the edge of the farmland I slowed the horse to a casual walk. He slowed to a stop when we neared the front door. I hopped off the brown horse and tied his reigns to a fence post, I knew I wouldn't be here too long so I didn't worry about him freezing. The living room lights were on, casting yellow shapes onto the dead grass, deepening the shadows of night. Through the thin fabric curtains I could see that the walls were the same sage green color they were when I left. 

My heart pounded as I crept up to the door. It had been more than a year since I last saw Phillip and I was nervous to say the least. I didn't know how I'd feel seeing him again. I wanted to see him. To not lose the last of my family. But what if actually seeing his face brought back all the anger I had when I left?. I took a deep breath and summoned the courage to lightly tap on the door. For a split second I thought he wouldn't hear it until a dog started barking. There was no backing out now. "I'll be there is a minute." He called. His voice sounded foreign to my ears. The doorknob turned and when he opened the door it was like he saw a ghost. "Lilypad?" No one had used that nickname in so long. I nodded sheepishly.

"Hi Phil." I didn't know what else to day. What else could I say? So we stood there in the silence of night with an uneasy tension between us.

"You, um, want to come in?" He said at last. Despite my fear the word no never crossed my mind. I nodded. He stepped to the side and let me in. I looked around the house I grew up in, curious to see what had changed. Everything seemed to be the same, with a few minor changes here and there. A new sofa, some living houseplants, and the dog. The dog was definitely new.

"I love what you've done with the place. It's like a whole new house." I said dryly earning a chuckle. A small brown dog charged towards me, running around my legs as he sniffed every square inch of me.

"Yeah, certain individuals destroyed the rug." He quickly looked down at the brindle mutt. 

"Fair." I agreed. An awkward silence 

"Would you like anything to drink? Coffee, tea, water?" We walked slowly towards the kitchen. 

"Tea would be nice." I took a seat in the dining nook. It was just the two of us but I still sat so I was sandwiched between the wall and table. The same spot I've always used.

I watched quietly as he put the copper kettle on. The only noises that were made was from the dog. My older brother took a seat with me while the water was boiling. "So," he began. I could tell by his tone that things were going to get more uncomfortable before they got better. ", how have you been?" Small talk. I wasn't sure if that was good or bad.

"Uh, good." I didn't want to get into too many details. "I like my town, the townsfolk are nice and I've made friends. Everyone helped me settle in really quickly."

"I'm glad you like it there." I looked at his face. His hair was just as red as ever. In fact everything was the same, if only a little older looking.

"I am too." Another silence began to form so I spoke before it got a chance to become uncomfortable. "How has the farm been?"

"Can't complain. I had a pretty good harvest this year. Maybe the best it's been in the last five years."

"That's because I'm not 'helping'." I raised my hands to make quotation marks. Another laugh. That's a good sign.

"That or the Goddess took pity on me." The dog placed his front paws on the edge of the chair so he could greet me properly.

"H-hello." I froze a little not knowing how to react to a dog. 

"Bo get down." He commanded as he got up to make my tea.

"Bo?" I asked.

"He came with it." Phil placed a small red mug down in front of me. "The adoption agency renames every animal that comes through their door." I lifted the steaming mug and carefully blew on it. "It seemed a little unfair." I nodded in agreement. "Go get your ball." The moment he said it Bo darted off towards the stairs. "How are you feeling?" I looked up at him, confused by the change in topic. With a single finger he pointed at his neck, right where my scar was.

"Phil." This is what I wanted to avoid. I didn't want to air out our dirty laundry, I just wanted to move past it. "Can we not? I just want to enjoy this." He raised his hands in defense.

"Right. Sorry." I sighed.

"It's fine. It wasn't your fault." I forced a tight smile. 

"I like the hair. It suits you." He said, quickly changing the subject.

"Thanks." I ran my hand through my short hair.

"When did you get it cut?"

"Ah midsummer." I left out the situation surrounding the hair cut.

"It's nice." My nails tapped against the handle of the mug. "How's your farm?"

"Good. I already knew I liked it when I got into the business." I took another sip of tea.

"What do you focus on?"

"Animals, ya know, cows and chickens really. Do you really think I'd raise crops?" I scoffed.

"Fair enough." He chuckled. "Who's been caring for them while you're gone?"

"A few good friends." It wasn't a lie, Ash and Georgia were helping me. Besides, I didn't feel quite comfortable talking about my love life with Phil. I looked around the old house and saw remnants of my childhood still hanging on the walls. "Phil, I wanted to thank you for giving me mom's old stuff."

"That's not all I got you." My eyebrows flew up in surprise. Why didn't he give it to Chelsea when he dropped off the other things? Did he know I was going to come over?

"You didn't have to." I insisted. After not talking for so long I didn't think it would be appropriate to take it.

"Come on Lilypad." He scoffed. He walked into the other room and returned with a small gift box in hand. "I know you prefer practical things so I thought you may need them." I unwrapped the parcel and pulled out a knit cap, leather gloves, and long scarf. All were a variation of peacock blue.

"They're really nice." I grinned. "Thank you Phil." I stood up and for the first time in over a year I hugged my brother.

"Thank you Lilypad." He pulled me tighter. "I've missed you."

"I've missed you too." My voice was shaky as I spoke.

"Would you mind, visiting again?"

"I'd like that. Maybe you could come see my farm one day."

"That sounds great." He hesitated. "I really am sorry about going bonkers. I didn't intend for things to get so. . ."

"Stop. Please." My eyes stung. "I really don't want to do this right now. Let's not think about it."

"If not now when?" He questioned.

"I don't know." I fought back tears. "Not for a while." I pulled back and walked towards the door.

"Don't go." I turned around with a pad of paper and a pen.

"Well I have to. Chels and Vaughn are waiting with cake. But I was gonna give you my number so we can talk." I scribbled my number down on the notepad.

"Oh." He laughed nervously. "Right." I handed over the paper and put on my new winter attire. "So, what about the Starry Night festival? Do you have plans?"

"Kinda." He looked disappointed. "But what about New Years? I can celebrate the holidays with you, Vaughn and Chelsea." I offered.

"Sounds like a plan." I hugged him once more.

"I gotta go." He walked me to the door. "I'll see you soon. Okay?"

"Okay." I untied Andy and hopped up. "Expect a call." I nodded. This wasn't as painful as I thought it would be. In fact I'd call it pleasant.

"Bye Phil." I waved to him before I galloped down the dirt roads and back to Chelsea's.

-

When I returned to their home all three of them were asleep on the oversized sofa. I laughed a little and quietly walked upstairs. I took a seat on their bed and called Cam. "Hi, Howard, is Cam there?"

"No sweetie. He's in the shower, can I take a message?"

"Yeah, just let him know I'll be back tomorrow evening. Around five."

"I'll let him know as soon as he finishes up."

"Thanks Howard."

"Anytime dear." I returned the phone to the dock and walked back downstairs. Now came the challenge of waking them up without disturbing the baby.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Filbert: reconciliation


	36. Forget-Me-Not

My boat docked at five sharp. I saw Duke there with Georgia and her horse, Dakota, waiting for me. I walked up to them confused. "Um, hi Georgia. Whatcha doing here?" I gave Duke some long overdue pets. In return he bumped my head with his nose. "I missed you too."

"I was watching Duke. I couldn't leave this handsome guy alone." She reached over and barely brushed his ear. "Poor boy needed some good exercise."

"Well, thank you." I smiled up at her, while hopping up on the saddle. "It's just, I wasn't expecting you."

"I know." She gave me a wink. I blinked a few times out of confusion. That was weird. "You ready to go home?" I nodded and squeezed Duke with my feet in response he whinnied and started trotting.

"How's Mister? Is he anyone's? Is he healthy?" That poor stray. If he was anyone's I probably wouldn't give him back. He was roaming the woods for far too long to be lost.

"Mister is fine, completely healthy and from what we can tell he isn't owned by anyone. We gave a call to the county's animal control and let them know where he is if anyone was looking. From what they said no one had contacted them about a cat for little over six months now. We gave him all his shots and gave him a trim." She paused. "He was lucky you guys found him. He would've froze if he wasn't found."

"I'm happy too. I couldn't stand the thought of him being stranded out there." I bounced up and down with each movement of the horse.

"Well unless someone comes asking about him he's yours. I'd watch him around Luna, he isn't neutered."

"I'll keep an eye out for that." I snickered. The blanket of snow had grown since I was last home. I adjusted my new hat and scarf as we entered the mountain area. We split up by Konohana. Georgia went to visit Kana and I went to the mountain to return home.

I returned Duke to the barn and made my way through the snow to my front door. I regretted not wearing my higher boots. Still I knew warmth was just a door away. I tried opening the door, hoping it may not be locked. Unfortunately it was. I fumbled around my rucksack for the keys, trying hard to not let anything escape my bag. I found them and unlocked my front door. I did my best to prevent snow from spilling in, but it did. "Shit." I muttered under my breath. A delicious scent hit me the moment I stepped in. I set my bag on the floor and hung my hat, coat and scarf up on my small coat rack. Slipping out of my wet boots I looked around the living room to find it spotless. Everything was vacuumed, folded, and straightened. Last I saw it my living room was in the semi-chaotic state it always was. I turned the corner to my combination kitchen and dining area to see a table set with two wine glasses, candles, and more food than I could eat alone. It only took me a few seconds to notice the dirty blonde standing by the table. My stomach did little flips as I walked towards him and hugged him as tight as I possibly could.

"Happy birthday Lily." He said in return, wrapping his arms around me. I didn't know exactly what to say. This tender gesture warmed my heart, and showed me how much he cared. I buried my face in his chest and like always he smelled of the flowers at his stall.

"Thank you hun." Joy flooded through me, and in that moment I realized how much I had missed him. "I'm so glad I'm home." My words were muffled by his chest but I didn't care, I just kept hugging him. "I missed you so much." I didn't want to let go. Everything in this moment was perfect.

 

* * *

 

Gently I lifted her chin up so I could kiss her. I didn't want to stop kissing her, and yet I pulled back. A look of pure joy lit up her face. "I missed you as well." My hands slid from her shoulders to the small of her back, pulling her in closer. I kissed her once more. I tried pulling back but she wouldn't have it. Having her in my arms was as natural as breathing to me. Eventually she pulled back from the kiss. "Lily," I looked down into her bright blue eyes. "I-" I started to choke a little on my words, not from fear but my nerves were getting the better of me. My heart felt as if it was in my throat. I took a deep breath, knowing with every fiber of my being that this had to be said. "I love you." There was no turning back now. I didn't remember when these feelings started to develop but they did and trying to fight it was a stupid idea. Tears started to well up in her eyes, causing my heart to sink. "I'm sorry I-" She pressed her finger to my mouth.

"Don't apologize." She stood up on her toes and pressed her lips to mine. "I am in love with you." At this moment I didn't care about anything else, just her. I couldn't resist kissing her again. It wasn't short and sweet like most of our other ones, it certainly started out that way but within a matter of seconds she started to deepen it.

 

* * *

 

After what simultaneously felt like a split second and an hour of kissing I pulled back. I trusted him, needed him, believed him, and most of all loved him. There was no doubt in my mind. Quickly I blew out the candles and returned to him. My fingers intertwined with his and I started leading him up the stairs. "Lily wait." I turned to look at him when he stopped following.  "A-are you doing what I think you are?" His already flushed face turned a darker pink. I nodded. "I just want to make sure it's something you're absolutely sure you want."

"I know I said I wanted to take things slow." I had said that, but it wasn't what I wanted anymore. I wanted him and nothing more. "But this feels right." I couldn't keep the grin off my face. "Anything I've done and will do with you is something I want and will never regret." I gripped his hand tighter. "I promise." He nodded, returning my smile with one of his own. I pulled him towards me and kissed him again, my arms wrapped around his neck. I loved this man and I knew he loved me. I could feel it in everything he did. I felt as if everything in my life was leading up to this point, to this happiness, to him. Tonight I would deny him nothing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Forget-Me-Not: True love


End file.
